Saturday, March 2, 2019

Someone Like You (Animal Attraction) (2001)

Okay, do NOT get used to seeing reviews of romcoms on here, as they're absolutely not my bag (they're probably my least favorite genre altogether, in fact) and the only reason why I'm even doing this one is because I ended up with a copy of the DVD. I've talked before about how I'm a friend with filmmaker Jeff Burr and how he and I sometimes get together at the Barnes & Noble in Chattanooga in order to just sit and chat for a few hours. What often comes with that is him trading and swapping movies with him: I let him borrow some movies that I have and he, in turn, gives me some in return. Once in a while, it'll be something that he'll want back but, more often than not, it's stuff that he bought and decided he didn't want anymore. He's told me that I'm under no obligation to watch any of it but, with me, the gesture of giving or lending me something makes me I should check it out at least once and, man, has he left me with some crap in the past! I keep them around because I figure they'd make for entertaining reviews on here but a lot of them have been absolutely miserable to sit through, especially the really shitty horror and sci-fi stuff he's left with me. As you might expect, that's usually what he leaves with me, so I was very surprised when, back when we got together in 2017, this came in the bag with everything else. I knew right from the title, the cover, and the actors involved that it was a romantic comedy and while I wasn't rolling my eyes or anything, I was thinking to myself, "Really, Jeff?" I know that he's just a movie fan in general, and I have nothing against the people who like these types of movies, but I had a hard time seeing him watching something like this. When I got around to watching his stuff that fall (we met up in June), I wasn't completely dreading popping this in, especially since I do like Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman, but it wasn't high on my pecking order, either. Upon watching it, I was pleasantly surprised, as not only was this was not a chore to get through but, moreover, it was kind of enjoyable. It's not laugh-out loud funny or an underrated comedy gem by any means, you can guess where the plot is going and how everything will sort out very early on, and it's not something I could see myself watching on a regular basis, but it has a charm to it, mainly due to the actors and the direction, that makes it an easy sit.

Jane Goodale is a talent scout for a New York talk show that has recently been picked up for syndication, working for a host who wants guests that are absolutely impossible to get and a writer/producer, Eddie Alden, who's an unapologetic womanizer, having a new lover practically every week or so. The show gets a new executive producer, Ray Brown, a good-looking man whom Jane is instantly smitten with, despite the bad luck she's had in the past with men. Ray is seeing someone but the relationship is apparently on shaky enough ground to where he and Jane begin to spend time together and eventually share a kiss. The relationship progresses to sex and the two of them decide to get a place together, but things start to unravel when Ray breaks up with his girlfriend without telling her that there's someone new. Jane starts to see him less and less, they end up missing out on the apartment they were going to share, and one night, at dinner, Ray breaks off their relationship with no explanation. Jane is absolutely crushed and, in order to get revenge, moves in with Eddie, who's been advertising lately for a roommate. Once moved in, Jane quickly grows used to the constant parade of women through the apartment, as well as Eddie's cynical views on the concepts of romance and true love, and they start to become friends. Meanwhile, Jane reads an article about a phenomenon called "the new cow theory," in which a bull seems uninterested in mating with the same cow twice, even when the cow is coated in the scent of a different one, and starts to develop a theory that something similar applies to human men as well. Her friend Liz, who works at a magazine, is so taken with the theory that she convinces Jane to write about it in a column, under the pseudonym of Dr. Marie Charles. The column ends up being a big hit and all the talk shows become intent upon getting her, including the very one Jane works for. It isn't long before Ray attempts to get back with Jane, while Eddie tries to make her see that her feelings about men have more to do with her than them, and Jane begins to realize that the man she's been looking for may have already come her way but in the most unlikely form possible.

Though he's probably best known as an actor, mainly for movies and TV shows like Ghost, Disney's Tarzan (voicing the title character, which is undoubtedly the first movie of his I ever saw), the 2009 remake of The Last House on the Left, and Designing Women, Tony Goldwyn has dabbled in directing as well. Someone Like You (the title of which he objected to, as he wanted the film to retain the title of the book it was based on, Animal Husbandry) was his second feature, after 1999's Walk on the Moon, with Diane Lane and Viggo Mortensen, and he's since directed 2006's The Last Kiss, which starred Casey Affleck, and 2010's Conviction, with Hilary Swank and Sam Rockwell. He's also directed a lot of television as well, doing episodes of shows like Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order, Dexter, and Six Degrees, among others. And if you're a horror geek like me, you'd also know that his first movie was my personal favorite Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives.

When you're watching something that's not really your thing, it helps when you actually give a crap about the people onscreen or, at the very least, the actors playing them, and that's the case here. For one, I really like Ashley Judd and she helps to make this movie more enjoyable than it might have been otherwise in her lead role of Jane Goodale. A talent scout for New York's The Diane Roberts Show, Jane is not only harried by the insane demands of her boss, who wants guests that no other show can get (like Fidel Castro, of all people), but is also a complete cynic when it comes to men, due to her bad luck with them and also having to work closely with the show's womanizing writer and producer, Eddie Alden. Her lack of faith in men is momentarily restored when she meets Ray Brown, the show's new executive producer, and is instantly smitten with him. Despite her aforementioned bad history with men, as well as that Ray is seeing someone, she begins to spend more and more time with him and they soon start a relationship, one that's spurred on when she learns that he and his girlfriend are having problems. It's not long before the relationship goes to the next level,  with the two of them eventually admitting that they love each other and beginning to look for a place together. Everything seems to be going great, until Ray reveals that he broke things off with his girlfriend but didn't tell her about the new woman in his life. Soon, he becomes more and more distant and Jane sees less of him, until everything falls apart one night at dinner when he calls the relationship off without any explanation. Heartbroken and bitter, Jane gets revenge on Ray by virtually announcing to him her decision to move in with Eddie, who's been looking for a roommate. After moving in with him and adjusting to his having a new woman in his bedroom practically every week or so, Jane reads an article about how polygamy is preferred by the male bovine and believes that the same thing applies to men and women, seeing herself as the "old cow" for Ray. Doing some research to compile her theory, she's then talked into writing it into a column for her friend, Liz's, magazine, coming up with a pseudonym and a fake PhD to make her seem legitimate.



Much to her shock, the column proves to be a hit and everyone wants to talk with "Dr. Marie Charles," including her own boss, which leads Eddie on a search for her as well. Jane's confidence in her own theory is shaken when, at a Christmas party, she's approached by Ray, who seems like he wants to reconnect with her and asks her out to dinner on New Year's Eve. Despite having grown to completely loathe him for hurting her, Jane decides to take him up on his offer, only for him not to show up that night. Dejected, she decides to try to join Eddie at the party he's attending but when she doesn't see him there, or him calling for her over the crowd, she heads back home, more depressed than ever. Angrier at Ray than ever, Jane learns the next day that "Dee," the woman he had been seeing before, is none other than her boss, Diane Roberts, and that they've gotten back together. After making a fool of herself during a meeting where she admonishes Ray for getting all emotional over some movie and yet, is unable to do so over the pain he's causing her, Jane actually gets advice from Diane about how she got her boyfriend back. Jane decides to again go with the new cow theory again, agreeing with Liz that Diane is only saying what she said to keep from facing the fact that she's an old cow herself. This leads to an argument between her and Eddie back at their apartment, culminating with Jane finally admitting the heartache the old cow theory grew out of: "If this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie. They leave me." Eddie proceeds to comfort her, ensuring her that Ray won't be the last guy she'll ever love, and they end up cuddling together all night. Even after that, Jane is distrustful of Eddie, saying that he would have hurt her eventually, and he lets her know that the problem is not him or other men but rather, her attitude. It's not until she visits her sister, who's in the hospital after suffering a miscarriage, and sees the devotion her husband has for her, that she realizes she was wrong. With that, she decides to bring Dr. Marie Charlies on the show, initially planning to do it over the phone and pretend to be her but opting instead to come out on stage and reveal the complete truth. Admitting that Charles never existed and her theory was born out of pain, she says that are some genuinely good men out there, and ends the movie by telling Eddie that he was right about her finding new love, as she has: him.

Even though he's second-billed below Judd, Greg Kinnear has probably the least flattering role in the film, as Ray Brown is depicted as a good-looking but spineless and clueless loser. There's an immediate interest between him and Jane from the moment they meet and it isn't long before they begin seeing each other, making love, and trying to pick out a place. Ray seems all set to break up with his current steady, whom he calls "Dee," and go with Jane, but when he breaks it off, he's more preoccupied with the cold, calm way in which she took it than anything else. He also didn't tell her that he'd started seeing someone else, claiming he did so to avoid hurting her more than he already had. Despite claiming that he's happy, he clearly isn't and becomes more and more aloof towards Jane and their getting a place together, until he breaks up with her over dinner, with no explanation as to why. Unable to give her an answer, he compounds her pain by saying that he does love and wants them to stay important to each other, which prompts her to tell him to leave, which he does. He continues to make things worse for himself: talking to her the next morning at work and claiming that it's hard on him too (though he doesn't look like it), having the audacity to be shocked at her decision to move in with Eddie Alden (which, to be fair, she only did to spite him), and at one point, tries to butter her up by bringing by a lightly-toasted bagel, which she promptly throws in the trash. Then, at a Christmas party, Ray tells Jane that he misses her and asks her if they could get together on New Year's Eve. She agrees but, come that night, Ray stands her up, devastating her, and back at work, it's revealed: "Dee" is actually Diane Roberts, the host of the show they work for, they got back together right before New Year's, and went away, without him calling and telling Jane at all. Again, Ray has no excuse for it other than, again, being completely spineless, and during a meeting, when they're discussing an upcoming guest, French actor Gerard Depardieu, he goes into this big thing about how emotionally moving his last movie was, even getting a bit teary about it, but doesn't see the parallel between the character and what he's put Jane through and, moreover, his lack of empathy for someone in real life who he knows is hurting. After Jane angrily admonishes him for it, Ray still looks completely clueless as to what just happened, and exactly what he's feeling when Jane admits that the writing of Dr. Marie Charles is actually hers is unclear. It's possible that he does understand that it is his doing but, for the most part, he just looks more annoyed that she's airing this.

While I've never been interested in the X-Men movies (I'm not interested in that group, period), and Van Helsing was complete garbage, I do like Hugh Jackman as an actor, as he has so much charisma and likability about him. It's no different here, as Eddie Alden may be a cynical womanizer and unapologetic about it but he's also very carefree, funny, and charming. Early on, he offers to let Jane move in with him, knowing that she's always talking about how her apartment is too small, and he makes it clear that he intends for it to be a purely business arrangement, albeit in an unintentionally insulting way. He also teases Jane about her obvious attraction to Ray Brown from the moment they meet, commenting about how he knows they'll live happily ever after, and after sensing the hostility between them following the breakup, he allows her to move in with him when she asks about it. While living with him, she learns that Eddie's womanizing goes much deeper than simply being a cad: he once had someone special but she left him and he was so hurt by it that he took an axe to a wall in his apartment, creating a new bedroom in the process. Because of that, he now believes that the concepts of romance and true love is baloney and simply indulges in the joy of casual sex, saying that he's simply embracing the way things really are. Despite this cynicism, the parade of women through the apartment, and his not being so sure about the research that she's doing to develop her theory (which he is unaware of), Eddie does start to grow fond of Jane, bonding with her one night over cold Chinese food and making her do a cheer that she once did for her high school... and then, it's revealed that he had another woman sleeping in his bedroom the whole time. He grows close enough to her to try to get her to come with him to a New Year's Eve party he's going to, as he knows she's reconnecting with Ray, and when she shows up, hurt that Ray stood her up, Eddie tries to go to her but is unable to because of the crowd in the room. When Jane becomes even more upset over learning that Ray is back with his old flame and that she was Diane Roberts, Eddie tries to get her not to cry over it and covers for her when she's distracted during a meeting, but is unable to stop her from embarrassing herself during the meeting when she flips out on Ray.


It doesn't take long for Eddie to grow tired of Jane constantly going by the advice of Dr. Marie Charles (unaware that they're the same person) and it comes to a head in an argument that they have where he calls her out on secretly wanting Ray to come back. He asks her why she can't just accept that it's over and she then reveals that if this theory proves to be wrong, then men just leave her rather than all women. This is when Eddie shows his true good colors, sitting down beside her on the bed and telling her, "I know what it does to you. I know. Maybe that's why we hold on as hard as we do. You know, we can't believe that such a miracle can ever happen to us twice. But it can. Some day, you'll find it again. I promise you... You're beautiful. You are beautiful. You're intelligent, and real... and Ray is not the last man you're ever gonna love. I promise you, he's not." He comforts her as she breaks down crying and they end up sleeping together, in a platonic way, all through the night. When they wake up, Eddie is really surprised and happy that it didn't lead to sex, but when Jane is still distrustful, saying that he would have hurt her eventually, he senses that she's hiding something and says, "This is not about my nature, Jane. It's about yours." Finally, when Jane reveals to the world that Marie Charles was a complete fabrication made by her, Eddie is so dumbstruck by this, particularly given his suspicion that she wasn't being completely truthful and yet insisted that "what you see is what you get," that he storms out of the studio and takes a cab back to his apartment. By doing so, he doesn't hear her admit that the theories she came up with were just the ridiculous musings of someone who'd been hurt and that not all men are animals. However, she does manage to flag him down, admit that she was wrong about a lot of things, that she should have told him the truth, and that she has found that special someone again, which just happens to be him. Instead of saying anything to that, they end up kissing passionately on the sidewalk, admit that they possibly have everything to lose by going this route, and they don't seem to care.



As much as like Hugh Jackman in this role, there are a few things about the character that I'm kind of "eh" on. One, there's a scene where Eddie, trying to find any information that he can on Marie Charles, goes to the place where Liz does yoga in order to talk to her about it and he runs into Becca, his ex. This encounter clearly brings up some pain and he storms out, unwilling to talk to about Jane and is so distracted that he doesn't even try to get the information that he wanted out of Liz when he walks by her, but in the end, it's pointless. While we do learn who she was (a roommate of someone who Eddie was seen with in an earlier scene), Becca is never seen again, the ins and outs of their relationship are talked about only vaguely, and Eddie is shown seeking solace with another woman, so that moment only existed to reinforce something that was already clear: a great pain made him the cynic and womanizer that he is. Second, the fact that Eddie couldn't guess that Jane was actually Dr. Marie Charles is kind of like, "Really?" He knows she's been researching weird sexual subjects, and the way he talks to her about how wrapped she is in those theories comes off like he does know, given his line, "These are people, not cows!", and when he asks her what's really behind the theories and what it is she's hiding. As a result, it makes his continuing to talk about Charles as if she is someone else and his shock at Jane's revelation feel off, when his reaction should have been more along the lines of, "Hah, I knew it!" (Plus, her analytical way of looking at things, which he brings up, should have clued him in, too.) Finally, the two of them getting together as a couple at the end feels rather forced and cliche to me. While he does clearly care about Jane, it always felt like it was more as a concerned friend who doesn't want her to go through any more pain rather than someone who sees her in a romantic light. It felt similar from Jane's perspective, as her perception of Eddie goes from a cad who she can't stand to someone she feels she can count on but, again, as a friend. Yeah, they're supposed to be two emotionally wounded people who find and realize they need each other but that part of it never felt genuine.

The focus of the story is very much on these three main characters, leaving only a small handful of supporting characters of any note. One of them is Marisa Tomei as Liz, Jane's best friend who works at a magazine centered on men. Liz is one of those friends who isn't afraid to speak her mind about Jane's deeply-rooted issues with men in general. She comments on how Jane compares Ray Brown to an old lover of hers by saying he's "not as preppy" with, "Oh, that guy again," and, when Jane brings up her very unsuccessful history and bad luck with men by saying that Ray would probably end up marrying his girlfriend, Liz says, "Wow, there's the cynical bitch I know and love." Later, after Jane and Ray have broken up and she begins forming her human version of the "new cow theory," Liz tells her, "I think it's always about you. That's what I think. You fall for some guy and it's like, 'Men are worthy of heroic worship.' You get dumped and suddenly they're shit-sucking, commit-phobic assholes. I'm sorry, Jane. The entire universe does not revolve around your romantic status." However, this mindset doesn't last long, as Liz herself goes through what happens to Jane. During that speech, it's revealed that she's in love with someone, only for that person to go to Paris on "business" when, in reality, he went there with another woman, which Liz found out when she called his hotel to tell him good night. Because of this, she begins to buy into Jane's theories (it later prompts her to stop trying to fall for the same type of guy that she used to), and when her editor decides to add a column in the magazine meant for women, she convinces her to write a piece for them about the theory, helping her come up with an alias, complete with a photograph of a deceased woman with no living relatives. Liz has Jane do this not only as a favor to her but also because she feels it would be cathartic for her, which ties into how she is a true friend. Throughout the film, she's there for Jane, giving her advice on how to best approach Ray given his failing relationship elsewhere, comforting her after the breakup, and when the article proves to be a hit, with people like Oprah wanting to get "Dr. Marie Charles" on their shows, she assures Jane that it won't come near her. It doesn't work, as Diane Roberts become interested in her as well, but at least Liz gave it a sincere try, as she does when talking with Jane when she contemplates getting back with Ray. And at the end of the movie, Liz doesn't try to stop her from calling into the Diane Roberts show as Dr. Charles but instead tries to make sure that it's what she wants to do. When Jane comes out on stage and admits everything, Liz, who's watching from her office, is clearly happy for her friend.

For most of the movie, Diane Roberts (Ellen Barkin), the host of the talk show that Jane, Ray, and Eddie work for, is a pretty minor character, portrayed as a demanding woman who, now that the show has been picked up for syndication, intends for it to stand out and to be the absolute best. As Jane herself says, "Diane was determined to strike pay-dirt with her audience by appealing to both their understimulated intelligence and their overstimulated appetite for tabloid television." She's not mean about it but she is overly ambitious, demanding that their website be up and running by the next week, be streaming 24/7, and that every show count by getting the guests who are "ungettable." As said before, she wants freaking Fidel Castro and doesn't seem to grasp what a tall order that is at all. So, when the article by Dr. Marie Charles is a big hit and nobody, not Oprah or the Today Show, can snag her as a guest, Diane, of course, is determined to get her. That seems to be her main function in the story for a good chunk of the film but then, not too long before the end, it's revealed that she was the "Dee" Ray was dating before and is now back with. Following Jane's meltdown in the meeting about Ray getting emotional over a movie but being unable to empathize with her, she goes to apologize to Diane and she figures out immediately that the outburst came from her being dumped by someone, adding that her lashing out Ray was because she saw him as representing the man who did it to her (she's not exactly wrong). She tells Jane about how she was devastated when her boyfriend left her but that she kept it together for the good of the show, and she also gives her the, actually good, advice of talking to the man who's hurt her. But then, she says that's how she got her man back... by showing up at his doorstep with a couple of cornbeef sandwiches and telling him she was lost without him, adding, "Pretty progressive, huh?" Not much is made of Diane after that, save for both Jane and Liz writing off what she said as coming from an old cow who's in denial, and she does think she's going to get Marie Charles on her show via telephone, only for Jane to come out and reveal the truth. Diane looks more confused than anything else during this and she doesn't quite grasp who "Ray" is when Jane blurts his name out, though she does motion to Ray, who silently denies knowing what she's talking about.

Finally, there's Jane's sister, Alice (Catherine Dent), and her husband, Stephen (Peter Friedman), who don't have much screentime and are typically played off as just comic relief. During their first scene, when Jane visits them early on, she learns that, in their attempts to have a baby, the doctor has started Alice on injections of fertility drugs and Stephen is practicing performing the injections on an orange. They argue about how gingerly Stephen is treating the orange, while Alice feels he should just jam the needle in, and about his low sperm count, with Alice saying, "I think we pretty much kissed romance goodbye when you started jacking off into a cup once a week!" Later, Jane and Eddie run into them at the yoga club while the latter is looking for Liz there. They've begun taking a pregnancy class there and they initially think there's something between them, that they're taking yoga together, though Jane and Eddie both vehemently deny it. Near the end of the movie, Jane, after the night she spent with Eddie, gets a call from Stephen and learns that Alice had a miscarriage. Jane heads to the hospital and comforts her devastated sister, climbing into the bed with her and listening to her as she talks about how Stephen got the baby a baseball mitt, thinking that it was going to be a boy (a genuinely touching moment, I might add). Stephen then comes in, with a blanket and some magazines for Alice, sits at the foot of the bed, and tells Jane, "Look at my wife. Have you ever seen anyone more beautiful?" This touching display of devotion and love on his part is what convinces Jane that she's been wrong about her theory and it prompts her to reveal the truth on the show. Alice and Stephen both see this on the television in their hospital room and are both clearly stunned by what they're seeing and hearing.




The film was budgeted at $23 million, a price that I would argue is a bit much for a romantic comedy but, regardless, you can definitely see it, as the production values are top notch. It's very much a glossy, A-level movie put out by a major studio (in this case, Twentieth Century Fox), one that's shot very well and presents a fairly upscale depiction of Manhattan. The most low-rent sets in the movie are Jane's old apartment and the one she moves into with Eddie and neither of them are at all undesirable. Jane says that hers is a bit small but, while we don't see that much of it aside from a couple of wide shots, it still looks nice, and Eddie's is a nicely-sized loft, one where the kitchen and living room have no separation and the bedrooms and bathrooms aren't too bad either. Granted, Jane's "bedroom" is really a space beyond the section of wall that, you later learn, Eddie took an axe to after his old girlfriend dumped him but, other than that, it's a nice place, with a bar in the kitchen area, nice blue lights above said bar, some multi-colored halogen lights in the corner next to the door, and a type of motorbike in the other corner. Alice and Stephen live in a nice place as well and, aside from those apartments, the movie, otherwise, takes place in the fancy studio, offices, and conference rooms of The Diane Roberts Show and the similarly posh offices of the magazine that Liz works at, with other scenes being set in the fancy place where the Christmas party for the show's employees are held (very possibly Diane's place) and some very upscale restaurants. The seediest location in the film is this bar downstairs in their building that Jane and Eddie go to a couple of times, which is full of cigarette smoke, has a pool table, and where beers are served by women who are only wearing bras as tops, daisy dukes as pants, or both (you get a shot of their actual bras hanging on the wall when the place is first established).



The film also shows New York itself in a pretty flattering light, with a number of beauty shots of the skyline, like when Jane and Ray take an early morning walk near the Brooklyn Bridge, with both the night sky and the sunrise framed behind it; when they're being shown the apartment they intend to buy together; and when Jane is walking and thinking to herself after visiting Alice and Stephen at the hospital. While the less posh aspects of city life aren't completely glossed over, given that aforementioned bar, how you see the fish and meat markets along the streets, and there are shots of the city in some depressing rain, it mainly makes New York come off as a lovely place. Its shots of the skyline quickly became very poignant, though. When Jane and Ray are being shown that apartment, the real estate agent mentions that they can see straight to the World Trade Center from the balcony and, sure enough, there's a shot of the Twin Towers in the background when they go out there. The film was released on March 30, 2001, so it was definitely one of the last movies to feature them. If that wasn't enough, guess when it was released on home video? September 18th, making it the first movie that was outdated in a way by being released to VHS and DVD after the 9/11 attacks.



Alright, it's a PG-13 romantic comedy that stars some really attractive actors, so you shouldn't expect much in the sexy department, apart from some teasing. Obviously, you're not going to see Ashley Judd's goods full-on but you did get some glimpses of her loveliness in scenes like when she's relaxing in the bathtub (the skin cream on her face and the cucumber slices covering her eyes are a bit of a turnoff, though), the couple of times you see her and Greg Kinnear getting it on or in bed (the first time is the steamiest this movie ever gets, as they nearly tear apart Jane's apartment, Jane rips Ray's shirt open, and you see her head lie back in ecstasy, with the lower part of her neck glistening from sweat), and a whole scene of her in a tank-top and underwear, which is very nice to see, especially when Eddie presses her to show him her old high school cheer. You also see a little bit of the women that Eddie has coming and going through his apartment. And for the ladies, while Kinnear doesn't get the chance to show much of what he has to offer, Hugh Jackman spends the one scene with Judd similarly undressed, wearing a pair of boxers with no shirt, showing off his athletic, only slightly hairy torso (something Chris Prater wishes he could pull off; only a scant few people will get what I'm talking about). Obviously, there are much steamier movies you could watch to truly satisfy your lust for skin but this probably could satiate it for a little bit.




The comedy in the film comes mainly from the ridiculousness of Jane's theory about men being a parallel to one involving cows and the characters' reactions to some of the nutty, crazy, and odd aspects of the story, like Jane's sheer disgust at Eddie's womanizing and the satisfaction she gets from her first night with Ray, her knowing she's really getting in over her head by coming up with a pen-name to use to write her theories in a column in Liz's magazine, her over-the-top outburst at Ray's lack of empathy for her (complete with her throwing some crumpled up pieces of paper at him), their having to deal with Diane's crazy ambitions, Liz's reactions to the twists and turns of Jane's romance, and Eddie's carefree, cynical view of pretty much everything, particularly romance. There's also a touch of slapstick in the bit of clumsiness involved in that sex scene, moments where Jane gets overly excited and is virtually tripping over herself, and a moment where Eddie bursts into a yoga class while looking for Liz and knocks some women over while they're stretching. In any case, again, being PG-13, it can't get as raunchy as movies like There's Something About Mary, but there are a few instances where it does approach the edge. The movie opens up with Jane talking about the original "old cow" theory and, less than two minutes in, you see a closeup of this bull's face as he's mounting and doing his thing with a cow. Later, you have that argument between Alice and Stephen about the former having to get injected with the fertility drugs in her behind, with Stephen using an orange to practice on, and his low sperm count. Not only can opera music be heard playing in the background during this scene but, when Stephen grabs a glass and goes into the bedroom during the crack about his sperm count, Alice follows after him and can be heard saying, "Come on, sweetie. I'll look at the dirty magazines with you this time." And, again, there's all the women Eddie shacks up with. Early on, when Jane notices a bite-mark on his neck, Eddie says, "I bit myself while shaving." Jane asks, "Isn't that why God invented turtlenecks?", and he answers, "No, that's why God invented Darlene." Sounds like something kinky went on that night.







Like I said, Jane and Ray's first time is really rough, as they first start making out crazily on her couch, she literally rips his button shirt open while grinding against him, they start screwing their brains out in the kitchen, falling over and pulling down the curtain around the bathtub (remember, it's a small apartment), and it ends with her head falling back over the edge of the bed. The lead-up to it is kind of funny, too, as Jane struggles to make herself presentable, while Ray looks at a magazine article that details a woman's erogenous zones. However, there's an interesting bit of montage edited into this sequence. As they make out on the couch, it suddenly cuts to a little girl in front a chalkboard with the word "Joy" written on it, as she defines it as, "The emotion evoked by the prospect of possessing what one desires." After Jane rips Ray's shirt open, it now cuts to a black girl in front of the board, which now says "Rapture," and she says, "The experience of being carried away by overwhelming emotion or passion." And finally, after the sex in the kitchen, you cut to Jane, dressed in the same uniform as the girls from before, standing in front of the board, which says "Ecstasy," and she says, "A state of being beyond reason and self-control." I don't know what Tony Goldwyn was going for when he put that in the midst of this scene but it makes it go from being kind of funny due to how rough the sex is to full-on eyebrow-raising. Another, more surreal, bit of comedy comes during a brief moment in Jane's apartment during the section where he relationship with Ray is slowly souring. She's watching a nature documentary that's focused on how prey animals evade their predators, particularly fleeing and zigzagging to where the predator out. In talking about the latter, the narrator (Goldwyn, by the way) describers the predator as a female and then, it cuts to a prairie dog that looks right at the screen and, in a female voice, asks, "Smell the bacon, Jane?" This causes her to drop her bowl of popcorn, both in shock and realization. For me, though, the funniest moment in the movie comes when Jane, after finding out about the amygdala and how it connects smells to memories, actually goes, you think, to a doctor to ask him to remove it because of the emotional suffering Ray's scent is causing her. When he asks why she would want to do that, she tells him that she thinks of Ray every time she smells of stuff like soap, fresh laundry, and vanilla, which leads to her remembering his dumping her, her getting sad, then angry, and having an emotional breakdown. She gets really weepy and ends her speech by telling the doctor, "I was just thinking... if I could just short-circuit my nose somehow, I might actually have a chance at living a semi-normal life some day. And then, you see that it was all in her mind, following her deliberately smelling Ray's scent while in an elevator and now, because of her fantasy, the doors close on her before she can disembark. I don't know why I find that funny other than because it's so random and is in there despite its not having any bearing on the story. However, I didn't realize it was all in her mind until looking at it again (the surreal nature of the doctor's office should have clued me in; look at that place) and I think it would have been even funnier had it been real.





The gradual and agonizing formulation of Jane's theory is played purely for laughs in a few ways. First, we get a montage of her being frustrated with her ideas, covering the floor with aborted pieces of paper, and doing things other than working, like throwing a ball against the wall, painting her toenails and standing on her bed on the bed, while holding a pencil in her mouth. Next, we see her working, recording ideas into a tape recorder, talking about how a "bull" lures in a new cow once he's done with the old one through various means of seduction. She proceeds to detail the "Current Cow Sob Story" and then, we cut to a big close-up of Ray, apparently on a rooftop and coming off as very smarmy and insincere as he speaks to the camera, saying, "You're so easy to talk to. Not like my current cow." The film cuts back to Jane, now walking down the street while continuing to record her thoughts (while passing by graffiti that seems to be advertising a slaughterhouse or something similar), as she describes what we just saw as narcissism on the man's part, complimenting himself by showing how "open" and "honest" he is. To drive the point home, we cut back to her imaginary example of Ray, as he says, "I just... try so hard. I'm sure she doesn't mean to be such a cold cow." Now, Jane she's relaying her ideas to a street vendor and his customer, telling them that what we just saw was him making an excuse for himself by getting rid of the old cow for a good reason and he's guilt-ridden because of it. Back to imaginary bull Ray, who says, "What's that thing they always say about the love of a good woman?" Cut back to Jane in her apartment, eating some cookies as she finishes that thought in her own way: "That once offered, it's guaranteed to come back and bite her in the ass." Eddie then comes in and she thinks, "Enter, case in point," before asking him about a date he came back from. Reluctantly, he tells her that he was turned off when her date started eating a lot, even though they'd had dinner not long before, and she proceeds to really skewer for it. Deciding he's had enough, Eddie goes to his room, saying, "Night, you psycho!", and she, in turn, goes, "Night, you neophiliac!" We then hear Hallelujah being sung by a choir, as we cut to the magazine containing her column being delivered to a newsstand.



Going back to the subject of style and editing, the film has a framing device in the form of a scrapbook titled, "New Cow Theory," and as the story progresses and relationships develop, we sometimes get these black screens with captions that read, "Attraction," "Establishment of Intimacy," "Death of a New Cow," and, "Birth of a Theory," no doubt in order to establish chapters. Also, Jane's voice pops in here and now with her narration, telling us how the groundwork for her theory was laid, how much Eddie disgusted her, how much Ray initially restored her faith in men, how horrible it felt when he dumped her, and so on. After a while, the chapter screens and the narration drop out, and the only reminder of this framing device at the end of the story is you see the scrapbook closed, with "The End" written on its back cover. I can understand why they presented the story this way, since it centers around Jane's theory and also because it was a fairly unique way to do it, but, being the over-thinker that I am, I have to ask how the scrapbook fits into the context of the story. Since she only published her theory in the magazine column, I'm guessing this book was something that Jane put together while she was doing all that research but it was never made clear that was the case at any point. Yeah, not important, but I just think of this kind of stuff. I also originally questioned the narration and whether or not it was meant to be coming from the book's writing (obviously not, since in the narration, Jane is speaking from a place where she doesn't believe the theory anymore) and who she was meant to be narrating and showing it to in context but I dropped that because I quickly realized that I was really making a mountain out of a molehill in that instance.






While the comedy is pretty hit-or-miss for me, with none of it, not even the parts I find the funniest, having me absolutely rolling, Someone Like You does succeed in the more emotional scenes, which manage to be quite touching. The scene in the restaurant, where Ray breaks things off with Jane, is actually pretty sad. Ashley Judd plays Jane's shock, confusion, and growing pain, compounded by Ray's fumbling and trying to explain himself, so well, culminating in her feeling like a fool for believing what they had was real, which ties back into her bad luck with men. She finally tells him to stop talking and to just leave, which he does, and she breaks down as she watches him cross the street outside. Her narration hammers it home: "There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence." It then cuts to her apartment, which she has now packed up but has nowhere to go to, and Liz comforts her by joking, "Time wounds all heels." After Jane moves in with Eddie, there's a moment where, as she lying in bed, unable to sleep, he offers her a drink, describing it as, "Morphine for the pain." He leaves it on the floor in her room and she then comes out and joins him, which is when he tells her that, after Rebecca moved out, he took an axe to the wall, saying, "I guess I thought opening up that wall might make it easier to... breathe or something." The two of them have a cigarette, Jane showing how inexperienced she is at smoking by getting choked on it, and after she calms down, Eddie tells her Rebecca's name. That's when they go downstairs to the bar. And while it mainly works as a showcase for Judd and Hugh Jackman's sex appeal, the scene where they bond over some cold Chinese food one night is actually quite charming. You can see them starting to become closer and Jane lets it slip that she was a cheerleader at high school. Eddie becomes interested in seeing her cheer but she's hesitant, so they make a deal that, if he manages to chuck three cold dumplings into the trashcan from where they're sitting, left-handed, she'll do it. Well, he makes it (Jackman actually is left-handed, so it wasn't much of a challenge) and Jane, reluctantly, does it, uses pieces of paper towel as pompoms. She gets into it, yelling really loud, when it's revealed that Eddie came out because he was taking a break from having sex with a woman in there named Isabelle, making for an awkward end to the scene, with Jane going to bed and Isabelle stomping back into Eddie's bedroom, slamming the door.



Come New Year's Eve, when Jane has agreed to take Ray up on his dinner date offer, she's all excited and expectant, despite what she tries to tell Eddie. But then, she gets all dressed up and waits around, playing solitaire and watching TV to kill time before she hears from Ray, which never happens. While watching live coverage of the evening, she imagines Hugh Downs reporting on Ray's not showing up as being his way of, "Sticking to his September sanctions." Realizing she's been stood up, Jane puts on her shoes and coat and heads over to the party that Eddie's attending but is unable to find him in the mass of loud people, counting down as the clock hits midnight. Not seeing or hearing him calling to her, she gets upset and runs out of the place, Eddie unable to catch up with her, despite trying to. I already mentioned the nice scene where Jane and Eddie's argument about the validity of the new cow theory leads to her breaking down about being afraid that men only leave her and he proceeds to comfort her, assuring her that she'll find love again, and I also have to again briefly mention the scene in the hospital following Alice's miscarriage. Crawling into bed with her sister, Jane listens as Alice talks about Stephen getting the baby a little baseball mitt, as he thought it would be a boy, and then breaking down over it in despair. That's when Stephen comes in and shows his wife undying devotion, prompting Jane to realize how wrong her theory actually is.

That, however, is probably the movie's biggest flaw: as soon as it starts, with Jane saying that she used to believe that the reason why men left women was new cow theory, the human equivalent of which she admits was born out of heartache on her part, you know that she's eventually going to realize that it doesn't hold water. Something is going to happen that will make her realize that it came about because she was trying to rationalize the bad luck she'd had with men all her life and that not all men are horny animals looking for someone new to bang, that there are some who are genuinely loving and devoted. And, as soon as Eddie is established as a womanizer whom Jane is disgusted by and Ray as the man she fell for her, only to break her heart, you can bet money on who she will eventually end up with, especially when she moves in with Eddie. I don't know how you could have done this in a way that would have subverted expectations and yet, still be satisfying, but it's the major aspect that keeps the film from standing out from all of the other romantic comedies that have been made over the years.

The music for Someone Like You was composed by Rolfe Kent, who's done the music for a lot of films, such as Wedding Crashers, both Legally Blonde movies, About Schmidt, Mean Girls, Sideways, Thank You for Smoking, and The Matador, just to name a few (he also composed the theme song for Dexter). His score isn't one of the film's most distinctive aspects, as it's mainly either light and airy or very solemn, with its most memorable piece being this string theme that highlights the sad moments and which, to me, sounds like the first few bars of My Heart Will Go On. There are also instances of low-key, silly-sounding music for the nuttier and more offbeat moments but, otherwise, this score isn't likely to leave an impact. The songs that make up the soundtrack are more prominent and, therefore, more memorable. You first hear Dreamsome by Shelby Lynne when Jane gets a phone-call from Ray about joining him for an early morning walk and it plays into when they have their first kiss in her apartment. The slow, smooth song fits well with that moment, as does It Must Be Love by Madness for the little montage showing the progression of their relationship following their first sexual encounter. And then, you get Train in Vain by Annie Lennox when, after having been dumped, Jane moves in with Eddie. The lyrics to that song, which include, "You said you loved me, and that's a fact, but then you left, said you felt trapped," and, "Did you stand by me? No, not at all. Did you stand by me? No way!", perfectly sum up the nosedive Jane's life has taken, as she struggles to get her bags up to Eddie's loft and as she settles in afterward. You can hear Woulda Coulda Shoulda by Taj Mahal and the Phantom Blues Band playing in the background during Jane and Eddie's first trip to the bar, you hear two versions of Get It On, one of which is, I think, heard during the second scene in that bar, and the movie closes out in a fitting fashion with Van Morrison's Someone Like You, as Jane and Eddie get together as a couple. You Are... by Wynonna Judd (Ashley Judd's half-sister) plays over the ending credits, making for a nice, calm song to truly end the movie on. There are some other instances of music, such as some zen music by Krishna Das, as well as instances of classic and traditional music used for comedic effect, such as that music you hear during the first scene with Alice and Stephen (which I think is Habanera from Carmen) and the Cavalry Charge for the chapter, "Call to Arms," which is when Jane and Liz formulate her alibi for the article.

Grossing just $38 million off of a budget of $23 million, Someone Like You didn't exactly leave a big mark on audiences and it's been virtually forgotten. Even though it's not my kind of movie, I can still understand why, as it's not special or unique, save for some directorial flourishes, it's not one of the funniest movies ever, the music score is just kind of there, and the story is very predictable in how it's going work out. But that said, I wouldn't call it a complete waste of time. It does have a charming cast of attractive actors who all play their parts well, the production values are high, there are some nice beauty shots of the Manhattan skyline, the film has an interesting framing device and choices of presentation and editing in certain sequences, the emotional moments come off as heartfelt and genuine, and the soundtrack is made up of some nice songs. I would say it's worth a watch if you're up for something light-hearted that doesn't require a lot of thinking and if you like any of the actors featured.

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