Movies That Suck/Dino Flicks: Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)

Purely a blind buy from McKay's, this was. I had never, ever heard of this film, be it in movie books, trailer compilations like Fantastic Dinosaurs of the Movies, or any of the numerous science fiction and horror documentaries I've seen over the years, including The History of Sci-Fi and Horror, which especially covered some very obscure stuff. All I can say is that the title was intriguing, as was the DVD artwork, which showed someone shooting a dinosaur with a laser gun and a spaceship that looked like an X-Wing without the pair of upper wings (one of those visuals was actually in the film, and I'll let you guess which one; I've read there's another version of the poster that actually features the Millennium Falcon). And the universal appeal of stop-motion dinosaurs and the notion that this film, according to the information on the back of the DVD, was one of the last to feature them, was what really sealed the deal. Sure enough, the stop-motion dinosaurs are both a lot of fun to look at and the only reason to hunt this flick down, as just about everything else is total rubbish. The characters, most of whom are played by inexperienced "actors," are almost completely uninteresting and, in some cases, sheer cannon fodder; the location, while an inspired one, loses its charm very quickly and becomes monotonous to look at; while the stop-motion is well-done, there are other special effects that are more wonky; the music is terrible; and, worst of all, the movie is just boring, with long stretches of nothing happening.

In the distant future, the spaceship Odyssey's reactor goes critical and an escape shuttle under the command of Captain Lee Norsythe is ejected before the mothership explodes. With no other recourse, they land on a nearby planet that they learn has a breathable atmosphere and end up crashing into a large lake. Forced to bail out before it sinks, the crew of nine make it to shore and find that the planet is akin to Earth, albeit with no signs of civilization. They also find that it's far from uninhabited when Chuck, the navigator, and Cindy, the communications officer, swim back to the ship to retrieve the radio transmitter, only for the latter to be attacked and devoured by a large, aquatic creature. With only a few laser guns and some crates of rations, the crew move into the interior, as Lee attempts to find a place for them to safely camp and hold out until a rescue team comes, if it ever does. As darkness falls, they realize they're not safe on land, either, as they hear a roar that one crewman, Mike, recognizes as a "hunting call." The next morning, they come across a Brontosaurus near their campsite and figure the planet is following a similar path of evolution as Earth, only it's millions of years younger. They move on, coming across the remains of a dinosaur that was killed and partially eaten by a large predator, a heard of Stegosaurs, a loan Stegosaurus that attacks the group, and finally, a ferocious Tyrannosaurus Rex that attacks and kills the Stegosaur. While trying to make it up to a plateau, Harvey Baylor, the Vice-President of Spaceways Incorporated, the company that built the Odyssey, and who has become unpopular among the group due to his constant complaining and pompous attitude, is gored to death by a Centrosaurus. Lee then decides to make camp in a small valley he feels is easy to defend and has a stockade built at the mouth which he feels will hold off the dinosaurs until help comes. However, there's dissension in the ranks, as Jim, the engineer, is convinced they're stuck on the planet forever and must go on the offensive to survive, meaning they have to kill the biggest threat to them: the T-Rex.

As low-budget and independent a film as you can get (its theatrical release was very, very limited), Planet of Dinosaurs was the one and only directing job for James K. Shea, whose earlier credits include working as miscellaneous crew on very little known, obscure movies like 1966's Suburbia Confidential, 1968's Tropic of Scorpio, and 1969's The Scavengers, which he also had a small acting part in. I can't find much on him after the film, except for some special thanks credits on a 1988 Sybil Danning film called The Phantom Empire and a 1991 film called Wizards of the Demon Sword (both were directed by Fred Olen Ray, which is always a sign of "quality"). According to co-writer and visual effects creator Jim Aupperle, who gave a lot of interesting info about the film on the message board for the site, tapatalk.com, Shea did plan to make a sequel to Planet of Dinosaurs and possibly wrote a script, but nothing came of it, obviously. Though I'm not sure how old he was, Shea, unfortunately, did pass away in 2009.

From what I can gather from Aupperle on that message board, Planet of Dinosaurs was very much a passion project for all those involved, as they came together with very little money in order to make a movie akin to the stop-motion dinosaur and monster movies they saw as kids. Aupperle also makes it clear that it all came down to Shea, who had supreme confidence in his effects artists' abilities and whose enthusiasm for the film as a whole is what got it made. And because the already

low budget was being spent almost entirely on the effects and the hiring of notable artists like Doug Beswick and Jim Danforth, they had virtually no money for anything else, including props, sets, and even payment for the actors, who had to agree to deferments in their contracts. While they were able to get a couple of people with some experience, most of them had never done a movie before (many have the same first names as their characters, as if the filmmakers were worried they wouldn't be able to remember any names besides their own) and, for the most part, did little to no acting afterward, although some did have success in other aspects of the industry. So, despite what I might say about this flick, I'm well aware that it was simply something that was put together for fun by a bunch of people who just wanted to make a movie. However, I'm not going to sit here and say the low budget and inexperience of most of the actors doesn't hurt it, because it does.

Before we go any further, I want to say that it was difficult to get really good screenshots, as while the movie was shot on 35mm, it's never gotten a really good remastering. The rips of it you can find either come from the 2007 DVD release by Retromedia, which is in widescreen but has a washed-out, public domain look to it that, in streaming, only goes up to 360p, or HD versions that, while certainly clearer, also seem to have filters that make it look a lot darker in many scenes, sometimes to where they're virtually impossible to make out (though some are hard to make out in either print). Initially, I was going to take all of my screenshots from the HD version in order to get the best image quality possible, but when I realized just how hard it sometimes is to see, I opted instead to go back to the brighter but lower quality DVD print. And instead of replacing the images I used from the HD rip, I decided to keep them here so you can see the difference for yourself. But, in short, this isn't going to be one of my best-looking reviews, so I apologize.

Because most of the actors are amateurs who deliver very wooden performances, and the characters are woefully underwritten, it's nigh impossible to care about any of them. For instance, Captain Lee Norsythe (Louie Lawless) comes off as a complete and utter tool. Though you have to cut the guy some slack, given the crazy situation he finds himself thrown in, and he's smart enough to know to get the group to safety when they first realize there are dangerous creatures on the planet, he often acts like a pompous and clueless jackass. Early on, when the one crew-member, Mike, gives a civilian, Derna, a laser gun, only for her to accidentally drop it in water and render it useless, Lee chews Mike out for giving a weapon to a "hysterical civilian," adding that he just lowered their chances of survival. When Jim says he was simply doing what he thought was right, Lee says, "No one does what he thinks is right. You all do what I think is right. I'm in command, here." He later decides to move them to a plateau, figuring the bigger dinosaurs, like the T-Rex, won't be able to climb up it, but is proven wrong when a Centrosaurus is revealed to be living near a cave high up in the mountains, leading to one of the group getting killed. Shortly after that, he decides to settle down in a small valley he thinks is safe and has the others build a stockade at the mouth of it, which the T-Rex easily smashes through before killing another of them. Finally deciding to go along with Jim's notion to kill the T-Rex first, Lee devises a plan to do so by having him bite into the carcass of a dead dinosaur that's been smeared with the juice from poisonous berries. This plan doesn't work and, this time, Mike gets killed. And yet, after all this, as Jim and the others are attempting to kill the T-Rex by having him impale himself on long spears coated with the poison, Lee attempts to make them evacuate to another valley nearby, again assuring them it's safe. He also throws his weight around again when the others don't listen, saying, "I'm in charge here. You'll do what I say." He's almost ready to fight Jim over the position of leader but the constant threat of the T-Rex eventually makes him cooperate with the others.

As Jim, James Whitworth, who'd just played Jupiter in The Hills Have Eyes, undoubtedly gives the best performance in the film. For about the first half, he comes off as stoic and calm, but with a sense of strength about him. You learn he has a lot of experience on alien worlds and knows how to handle himself, coming off as more like the head of a military unit rather than an engineer. He really should be the captain, an opinion that he himself holds and, as you learn, has held for some time, but he doesn't speak up until Lee decides to make camp in the small valley. While Lee is hopeful that they'll be rescued, Jim figures they're stuck on the planet and they need to start fighting back against the dinosaurs and making it their home, rather than hiding and waiting. Unable to get anybody else on his side, Jim reluctantly goes along with Lee's plan to build a stockade at the head of the valley, but confides to Nyla, Lee's second in command, that he believes he's too soft to be leader on this hostile planet. Tellingly, while the others celebrate the completion of the stockade, Jim stands guard outside. His doubts in Lee's leadership are soon proven right when Charlotte and Chuck are attacked and their attacker is killed and devoured by the T-Rex, whose lair is nearby. After the T-Rex destroys their stockade and kills Derna, Jim decides enough is enough and becomes determined to find the dinosaur's lair and kill him. And when Lee's plan to kill the T-Rex results in another death, everyone else starts listening to Jim and even Lee himself eventually realizes they need to work together to survive.

Nyla (Pamela Bottaro), Lee's second-in-command, finds herself caught in the middle of the conflict between her captain and Jim. She thinks they're both fine men and that Lee is doing the best he can, but also admits that Jim sometimes has better ideas. She also tells Lee that she'll do what he says, unless she believes his decisions could jeopardize her and everyone else's survival, which offends Lee and prompts him to stomp off. Later, she talks with Jim and tries to get him to cut Lee some slack, as well as tries to get him to come down from being such a tough guy that everyone else can't keep up and stop thinking of himself as above them. More than anything else, she hates the idea of having to become hard and uncivilized in order to survive on the planet, which Jim puts to her. Despite continuing to tell herself and anyone else that Lee knows what he's doing and they have to have rules, even on this planet, it's obvious Nyla becomes more and more unsure as time goes on, compounded by her missing her home on Earth. Eventually, she comes over to Jim's side, deciding it's best to stand up and fight, rather than sit and wait to be killed, paving the way for everyone else to join Jim as well. In the epilogue, which shows they've been living on the planet for years, Nyla has made peace with the situation, saying it doesn't matter if a rescue squad ever comes for them.

A character who makes himself utterly unlikable right off the bat is Harvey Baylor (Harvey Shain), the Vice President of the company that manufactured the doomed Odyssey spaceship. Copping an attitude with Lee from the first moment he's onscreen, he proceeds to constantly complain and demean everybody around him, including Lee, telling him, "Captain, the next ship you get, you're going to be the steward." He really tends to throw his weight and position around, telling Mike when he calls him out on his prima donna behavior, "You know, I could have you docked two weeks' pay for that kind of smartass attitude," and later, when Lee asks him to accompany Nyla to check out an opening in the roof of a small cave, he flat out asks if his status means anything among the group. He also badly bosses around his secretary, Derna Lee, at one point asking her to go fetch him some water from a nearby stream because he's too tired to get it himself (despite his not carrying any heavy equipment), and is insensitive about everyone else's plight, caring more about losing the radio than the fact that someone just got eaten and making a crass joke about how one crew-member is in shock over it. Ultimately, though, Harvey is just plain stupid. As night falls at the end of their first day on the planet, he actually suggests, "Why don't we just go somewhere, and ask somebody for some help?" And later, when he and Nyla explore the roof of the cave near the plateau, he uncovers a bunch of eggs and actually thinks a big chicken laid them. Despite Nyla telling him that's not the case, he starts calling, "Here, chicky, chicky! Come here to Uncle Harvey, sweetheart!" That's when a Centrosaurus shows up and fittingly gores him to death with its nose horn and tosses him off a cliff (he hits bottom very softly and with an unconvincing, "Ugh," sound). 

Late in the film, you learn that Derna Lee (Derna Wylde) met Harvey Baylor through his father, who thought she might be "good for him," suggesting she was more than just a secretary. This is likely why she put up with his bossing her around, despite how nasty and childish he acted. In fact, she has a very beaten down, demure attitude in general at first, apologizing for dropping the one laser gun into some water and ruining it, meekly saying that she'll do as she's told. When Mike (Max Thayer) attempts to intervene on her behalf at one

point when Harvey is bossing her around, Derna tells him to mind his own business. But when Harvey continues acting like a bratty kid, telling her that refusing to get water for him wouldn't look good on her "efficiency record," she turns in her resignation, giving him a rock that has "I Quit" written on one side of it and adding, "Sorry about the two week notice. Take it out of my vacation pay." Not surprisingly, Derna is the only to stay behind and say anything after Harvey has been buried following his death. Later, she and Mike have a conversation about him, as well as hint at the mutual attraction between. Speaking of Mike, he, for the most part, is the most upbeat member of the party, often making jokes and remarks about the situation. When they first land and make it to shore, he says, "We're alive and we're safe... and we're shipwrecked. Two outta three ain't bad." Shortly after, he tells Harvey, "This isn't Nebraska. There isn't any service station down the road. There isn't any phone. If there were, the long-distance rates would be something else." During their first night, he grabs something out of the rations crate and says, "It says here the government guarantees this product contains an, 'An adult's daily requirement of vitamins, minerals, and protein. It enables a person to complete his daily task with strength, energy... and a cheerful attitude.' Funny, I don't feel a bit cheerful."  Regardless of this jovial attitude, though, he does have his serious moments, like when he confronts Harvey and recognizes the dinosaur calls they hear during their first night as those of a predator on the hunt. He's one of the last holdouts for Jim's plan to hunt down and kill the T-Rex, and while he's more apt to go after him when Derna is killed, he's for Lee's plan to use a poisoned carcass, a plan that leads to him dying as well.

As the ship's nurse, Charlotte (Charlotte Speer) spends much of her time scanning the flora they come across to see whether or not it's edible, as well as worry about Chuck (Chuck Pennington), the crew's navigator who, despite being big, strong, and muscular (he has his shirt off for virtually the whole movie), proves to be quite sensitive. After Cindy dies while trying to help him retrieve the radio transmitter, Chuck goes into shock and doesn't say anything for much of the first and second acts. He also kind of just goes along with

everyone else and doesn't put his two cents in, but when Charlotte talks with him when he's setting up some reflectors meant to signal a possible rescue ship, he admits he's given up hope. She tries to encourage him, but when she's frightened by the sound of a dinosaur roar nearby, she's the one who becomes hopeless and he attempts to cheer her up, assuring her that the reflectors are made of a material the dinosaurs wouldn't find appetizing. Charlotte also begins to doubt whether Lee is up to the task of being their leader, suggesting it should be Jim since he has more experience, and also challenges Nyla on whether or not she could be effective as a leader should something happen to Lee. She reveals that she especially wants to go home very badly, admitting that she could cry when she thinks about Earth; Chuck comforts her on this, leading the two of them to hook up. Like everyone else, both of them are more willing to go with Lee's idea of poisoned bait, as it seems safer, but when that doesn't work, they start working exclusively with Jim. In the epilogue, it's revealed that, in the years they've been on the planet, Charlotte and Chuck now have a young son named Mikey.

Poor Cindy (Mary Appleseth), the communications officer, doesn't even last ten minutes into the movie before she gets eaten by an aquatic creature while attempting to help Chuck retrieve the radio transmitter from the sinking ship. Before she goes, she manages to give us some nice eye-candy when she strips down to her bra and underwear before heading into the water. It's just a shame that her acting, which is done through ADR (I don't know if that's even Appleseth's real voice or if, like Louie Lawless, she was dubbed), isn't as good as her body.

Amazingly, as bad as the acting is and how uninteresting most of the characters are, there actually is a bit of depth to the story. In fact, it's appropriate that James Whitworth did this after having played the leader of the savage cannibal clan in The Hills Have Eyes, as Planet of Dinosaurs also kind of deals with that notion of civilized man having to resort to savagery in order to survive. Moreover, his character of Jim embodies that notion, as he tries to impress upon the others that, in order to live on the planet, which he's now accepted as their new home, they have to

make themselves masters of the land and show the big predators like the T-Rex that they're not easy prey, just as primitive man on Earth did millions of years ago. This often leads to conflict between him and Lee, who's more apt to hunker down and wait for a rescue ship, even though it could be years before one comes, if it ever comes. Speaking of which, there's a surprisingly well-done scene that brings it all home on both sides. After they've finished building the stockade that Lee is sure will keep them safe until help comes, they celebrate by drinking some fermented berry juice Mike has

whipped up. That is, save for Jim, who stands guard nearby. Nyla goes and has a talk with him, and it turns into a discussion about Lee's leadership, as he tells her, "On this world, you have two choices: be cruel or die... Civilization is like that uniform you're wearing. It's getting dirty and torn. And pretty soon, it's going to rot away. You had better decide what you're going to wear then." Nyla flippantly answers, "I'll find something," to which Jim coldly responds, "You all have a lot to learn." Nyla then returns to the party and they

continue attempting to make light of their situation, singing Auld Lang Syne because, as Mike says, it's "Happy New World." But the song quickly drowns off and the scene turns somber as the reality of the situation sets in, with Nyla breaking down in tears and crying on Lee's shoulder. After that, everyone slowly but surely begins following Jim's example, which leads to their adapting to life on the planet to the point where, after being there for years, they don't care if a rescue ship ever finds them, as they now probably couldn't live anywhere else.

In addition to the inexperienced actors, the minuscule budget made it virtually impossible for everything else to be as well-crafted as the visual effects. As I said, they had very few props aside from those laser guns (which they rarely use and eventually get rid of altogether), some crates to carry their equipment and rations, a scanner Charlotte uses to check the toxicity of the plants, and, most memorably, grape Kool-Aid, which was used for the berry juice. Despite it being far into the future, the costumes are nothing to write home about in terms of how unique they are, save for

Jim and Mike's blue spacesuits with the white "V's" on the front and shoulders. Even the cinematography by Henning Schellerup suffered, as most of the lighting had to be done using reflectors, leading to a lot of obvious day-for-night shooting that, like I said, makes some scenes really hard to make out. And while the film was shot almost exclusively on location, a little bit of set was done for the opening in the cockpit of the escape shuttle, the rooms where the passengers are strapped in, and the emergency hatch they bail out of. These sets, however, are so limited that they were shot in extreme close-up so you can't tell how small they are, with the most detail being the control panel in the cockpit, with its buttons, knobs, and video screen.

The lake where the spaceship crash-lands at the beginning of the movie was shot near the Hansen Dam in the San Fernando Valley, as was, I'm sure, the thick forests, bogs, and streams they cross through during their first day on the planet. When they get into the rocky, more desert type of landscape, we're into the Vasquez Rocks National Park, which has been used in numerous movies and television shows. Additionally, the canyon that features in the film was shot in Pasadena. Altogether, these locations do give off a sense of an ancient, primordial world, with the jagged rocks,

occasional spots of shrubbery and streams, and the wide vistas of the landscape. This setting is very akin to those seen in past dinosaur movies like One Million Years B.C., The Valley of Gwangi, and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth. But, as effective and nice to look at as they are initially, they start to lose their luster as the movie goes on and you continue to see nothing but the small valley they take shelter in and the area around it. And there are way too many dialogue-less scenes of the characters just walking and walking and walking through the environment for minutes on end, giving off vibes of not only stuff like Gerry (okay, maybe not that extreme) but, on the more low rent end, movies like Robowar.

Like everyone says, the real draw for this film is the dinosaurs, and there are a ton of them. While you don't get a good look at the aquatic creature that kills Cindy (that photo of James K. Shea giving direction shows what it looked like; it seems like it was based on a Mosasaurus), you get your first good look at one eighteen minutes in: a Brontosaurus, who's eating some shrubbery near the crew's camp. While he doesn't act threatening towards them, they make sure to be quiet so as not to spook him and move away from the spot as quickly and silently as they can. As they leave the

forested area and enter the more arid landscape, they see a herd of Stegosaurs grazing nearby and they're later charged at by an aggressive one when they stop to rest at one point. That Stegosaurus is then killed by the Tyrannosaurus Rex, who makes his first appearance during this chase scene. The Triceratops-like Centrosaurus mercifully kills Harvey Baylor when he's stupid enough to mess around with her eggs, thinking they were laid by a big chicken. The freakiest creature in the movie is a big spider, the size of a small dog, that attacks Nyla when she gets around its burrow. Thankfully,

it's only onscreen for less than a minute before it's killed but, being someone who's terrified of spiders, the sight of that thing scuttling after Nyla and her having to fling it off her body at one point really makes my skin crawl. An Allosaurus attacks Charlotte at one point but Chuck spears him in the back and Jim is able to drive him away with his laser gun. When they chase after him, they find that the T-Rex attacked and killed him. After that, they come across a pair of dinosaurs that remind me of the Gallimimus but with sharp claws on their

hands and feet that make me think of the Velociraptors from the Jurassic Park films. They seem to be arguing, with one holding a dead, smaller creature in its talons, and the group decides to kill the other in order to make it into a meal. Lee and Jim also see another of these dinosaurs by itself when they're trying to find the T-Rex's lair. In their plan to kill the T-Rex with poisoned bait, they use the carcass of an Ankylosaurus they kill. And when Lee is pursued by the T-Rex while he's by himself, he comes across a four-legged dinosaur that was based on the Rhedosaurus from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.

The Tyrannosaurs Rex, naturally, is the movie's big bad and main threat towards the crew. His presence is felt before he makes his first appearance, as the crew come across his footprints and a half-eaten carcass he'd left behind. He pops up when they get charged by the one Stegosaurus, and after initially seeming interested in them, he attacks the Stego instead. He's so focused on him, in fact, that he doesn't see Mike when he slips into the midst of the fight to retrieve a dropped laser gun. The T-Rex manages to kill the Stegosaurus and is not seen again until almost an hour in, when he easily kills the smaller Allosaurus that menaced the group. He later proves Lee's faith in the stockade to be very misplaced, as he smashes through it as though it wasn't there and corners and kills Derna. The next day, Lee and Jim find his lair, which is a large cave in the side of a cliff, but when they try to kill him with the poisoned bait, he turns the tables on them by attacking them from behind when they approach his cave, allowing him to kill Mike, who tries to fight him off with spears. Later, when Lee comes across him, he momentarily distracts him by using a reflector to shine a light in his face, prompting him to give chase. He loses Lee, but does make a meal out of the Rhedosaurus. But the T-Rex proves to be only so intelligent, as when the group gets him to chase them from his lair, back to their valley, his blindly chasing them leads him to impale himself on one of the poison-tipped spears that have waiting for him.

While the rest of the movie may have suffered, there's no denying that spending the budget mostly on the visual effects was worth it. Not only do the dinosaurs look really cool, designed in the classic Ray Harryhausen mold of crocodile-like scales and tails that drag along the ground, but the stop-motion animation, most of which is the work of Doug Beswick, is about as good as you can get. It's very smooth and nicely detailed, with the dinosaurs having little tics that give them moments of character all their own. In addition to stop-motion, there is some work done with on-set props, like the

aquatic dinosaur that kills Cindy at the beginning and the still, life-sized prop of the big spider before it attacks Nyla (which freaks me out even more than the stop-motion, as it looks all the more real as it sits there in its burrow, waiting for a would-be victim). The spaceship Odyssey that figures at the very beginning of the film, before it's destroyed by its out of control reactor, is designed well enough, even though it is a pretty generic-looking ship and never looks like anything other than a small model. And the opening credits sequence, featuring drawings of dinosaurs floating out in place, is

especially memorable. Where the visual effects become more than a little shaky is in the matte paintings and the compositingof the live-action elements with the stop-motion and miniatures. As for the former, most of which were the work of Jim Danforth, some of them look really good, like the shots of the planet out in space and the escape shuttle approaching it, but others, like a shot of the planet's nighttime horizon late in the film, don't look that great. Similarly, the compositing of the actors with the animation and miniatures

sometimes looks quite good, and even amazing, like when the Stegosaurus charges at Charlotte and when the group first runs into the T-Rex, but more often than not, it looks rather rough, with one element always seeming more faded than the other and the separation of the two being very obvious. And in the instances where the actors or parts of the set have to physically interact with the dinosaurs, like when the T-Rex kills Mike, you can tell they're not even close to actually touching each other, as one of them looks like an image on a rear-projection screen.

While not a gorefest, Planet of Dinosaurs is often surprisingly violent and bloody, starting with Cindy's death, which leaves a lot of blood floating on the lake's surface. Most of the violence is the work of the T-Rex, as you not only see the ugly aftermath of one of his meals but, during his fight with the Stegosaurus, he bites the plates on his back and his back right leg, then kills him by biting his head and wrenching it back and forth with his jaws, as you hear bones cracking and start to see blood leaking out. You then see him munching on the dinosaur after he's dead. Later, the T-Rex bites

the smaller Allosaurus right on the head, kills and lifts Derna up in his jaws, does the same to Mike before taking him into his lair, and grabs the Rhedosaurus by the neck and throws him to the ground, before twisting his head with his jaws and crushing his skull. On top of that, the Centrosaurus impales Harvey with her nose horn and tosses his body off a cliff, the big spider gets speared to death by Jim, the Allosaurus gets a spear to the back courtesy of Chuck and is blasted by Jim's laser gun before meeting his demise by the T-Rex, the one

Gallimimus-like dinosaur gets shot with an arrow and then impaled through the front by Chuck, an Ankylosaurus gets bashed in the head in order to be used in the poison bait plan, and finally, the T-Rex gets his just desserts when he's impaled by the poison-coated spears at the end of the movie.

For the most part, I don't like the music score, composed by Kelly Lammers and John O'Verlin, at all. It kind of reminds me of the score John Carpenter came up with for his first film, Dark Star, as it's an electronic score, but it's really obnoxious and unpleasant to listen to, with bizarre fluttering and screeching sounds, the latter of which sometimes come off as downright piercing to the ears. It gets especially overbearing during the long walking scenes where there's no dialogue to listen to, and there's one transition to morning where the music tries to emulate a classical piece often used for such scenes, only it'd make you want to cover your head with a pillow rather than get out of bed. There are, however, a couple parts of the score that I do like, such as this low-key, ambient music in the lead-up to the T-Rex's first appearance that gives off a nice feeling of atmosphere, and a guitar solo for the "Auld Lang Syne" scene which plays the melody in a melancholic manner that fits nicely with how the reality of the situation hits them in the midst of their singing. But on the whole, this could be the weakest aspect of the movie, even more so than the actors.

In looking it up, Planet of Dinosaurs does have a very devoted cult following and that doesn't surprise me, as it really is that kind of movie, especially for those who saw it when they were kids. Had I seen it when I was younger, I might have enough affection to cut it some slack, but having first seen it as an adult, I must be honest and admit that I think the movie is pretty freaking lame. While the stop-motion dinosaurs are a lot of fun and are very well-executed, as are many of the visual effects, and James Whitworth does the best he can with the script and his character, everything else really flounders. The amateur actors are not helped by some bad dialogue and underwritten parts, the locations, as nice and appropriate as they are, get old really fast, some of the matte paintings and compositing effects don't hold up, the music score is often unpleasant to listen to, and when the dinosaurs aren't onscreen, the movie is often just boring and a slog to get through. For those who don't have nostalgia for it, I would suggest avoiding it altogether, unless you think you can sit through a lot of crap to see some pretty awesome dinosaurs.

Garfield Goes Hollywood (1987)

If specials like Garfield on the Town, Garfield in the Rough, Garfield's Halloween Adventure, and A Garfield Christmas Special are among the best of the series, and Garfield in Paradise is among the weakest (at least, in my opinion), then the best way to describe Garfield Goes Hollywood is... "eh." It's not as classic or well done as those I mentioned, as amazingly experimental as Garfield: His Name Lives, or as surprisingly effective, in more ways than one, as Garfield in the Rough or Garfield's Babes and Bullets; it's just rather ho-hum for the most part, telling a story that had a lot of potential, both for comedy and depth, especially given what happens in the third act, but I think it needed more than just under half an hour to realize it. Instead, the significant story-points just kind of come and go, and while there are funny parts, it's hardly a laugh-a-minute riot. Ultimately, while I don't think it's as uninteresting or downright annoying as Garfield in Paradise sometimes was, and it does have some memorably stylized sequences that, for me, instantly put it over that one, I think it's similar in just how much better it could've been (and also just like Garfield in Paradise, I don't get what part of this merited an Emmy nomination).

Garfield and Odie perform a routine atop a fence at night but the reactions they get range from indifference to out and out hostility. Later, the two of them, along with Jon, are watching Pet Search, a pets' version of Star Search, when they hear the grand prize is $1,000 and a chance to compete in the national finals, held in Hollywood. When they see how pathetic the previous week's winner was, they convince Jon to enter them after they show him their dance routine. But, much to their dismay, he decides to actively join the act, turning it into a trio called "Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps," where he dresses up like Elvis and sings and plays the guitar, while Garfield and Odie have to wear embarrassing 50's-style costumes as his backups. As ridiculous as it is, the lack of any real competition, as well as a disqualification when one act is revealed to be a fraud, leads to their winning. Though Garfield is unimpressed with the $1,000 and initially dreads the trip to Hollywood for fear of their making fools of themselves on national television, when they arrive, he quickly grows to like the idea of being a big star and the trappings that come with it. Now determined to win the competition and not have to go back to his mundane life, Garfield, along with Odie, decides to remove Jon from the picture, knowing Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps will not cut it in the finals. Thus, they smash his guitar and come up with a new, more successful act. Come the fateful night, while Garfield and Odie prepare to go up against some much stiffer competition, Jon worries about the effect stardom will have on them, something Garfield is actively yearning for.

Significantly, this is the last Garfield special directed solely by Phil Roman, as after this, he would always have one or more co-directors (save for 1991's Garfield Gets a Life, which he only produced). I'm not sure why that is, as both he and his production company, Film Roman, weren't doing anything else besides those specials, which is what the company was originally founded for, and wouldn't really begin to diversify away from Garfield until near the end of the specials' run. Also, it would still be another year before they began producing Garfield and Friends (although, that had been in development since 1985). And finally, except for Garfield: His 9 Lives, which is an anthology done in various styles, none of the specials produced after Garfield Goes Hollywood were all that technically challenging, so I can't think of any reason why he would need help. There was probably something else going on at the company or in Roman's life at the time which I'm not aware of that led to this but, for now, I'm not sure why he never directed another one by himself.

From the start of the special, Garfield (voiced by Lorenzo Music) is out for attention, attempting to entertain an unseen crowd with Odie while performing atop a fence one night. His jokes and bits fall flat, with one single instance of applause being a pity clap from his mother, and when he spices things up by saying, "All your mothers where army boots," he and Odie get stuff thrown at them. He's actually more satisfied with that, seeing it as a sign that they're paying attention, and he and Odie go into their dance routine, while still getting crap thrown at them. Later, when the two of them are watching Pet Search with Jon, they decide to prove they have enough talent to get on the show. However, while they succeed, Jon also decides to make himself part of the act, which Garfield feels is not a good idea, saying, "The show is called Pet Search, not Dummy Search," (he also doesn't like the idea of having to rehearse constantly). The night of the show, his fears seem well-founded when he has to wear a James Dean, greaser-like costume and wig as part of their act. Following their performance, he's sure they've blown it, calling Jon's playing and singing awful, and that seems especially true when the following act is a dog playing five instruments at the same time. Fortunately for them, it turns out to be a fraud and they win by default. Upon returning home, Garfield has written the whole thing off as a disaster and is not excited by either the $1,000 prize money (as he says, "Lotta good money does a cat,") or the trip to Hollywood to compete in the finals, as he doesn't look forward to embarrassing himself again on national television. But, when they arrive there, he's taken by the glitz and glamor, as well as the luxurious hotel they stay at, and decides to ensure that he wins and becomes a big star. To that end, he and Odie force Jon out of the act by destroying his guitar and come up with a new routine that Garfield is sure will take home the grand prize.

Odie (voiced by Gregg Berger), as usual, just goes along with whatever scheme Garfield comes up with, be it joining him on the fence to perform for an unenthusiastic audience or coming up with a routine they're sure would win Pet Search. He also agrees with Garfield that having Jon be an active part of their act is not good for their chances of winning, although he doesn't seem to be as embarrassed about the act or wearing his 50's style outfit. Significantly, Odie senses there's something up with the act following theirs, a dog playing five instruments at the same time, and unmasks him as a man wearing a dog suit, disqualifying him and leading to their winning. In Hollywood, while Garfield is completely seduced by the prospect of stardom, Odie just goes with the flow and enjoys everything at face value. But, like before, he agrees with him that they're not going to win the finals with the act Jon has come up with and he helps get rid of him by pushing a lamp onto his guitar while he's out of the room. That said, when they, inevitably, don't win, Odie is nowhere close to being as upset about it as Garfield, who throws a shameful tantrum. In fact, he takes cover behind Jon to avoid getting caught up in Garfield's wrath.

Upon hearing of the prize for winning Pet Search, Jon (voiced by Thom Huge) is ecstatic when he realizes he has two talented pets who could very well pull it off and decides not only to enter them but join the act as well, much to Garfield and Odie's dismay. He turns their routine into a 50's style trio called "Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps" and performs an Elvis-like number onstage while Garfield and Odie act as backups. Despite how much derision he gets from the boys, especially Garfield, and how ridiculous they do look in their outfits, Jon's impression of Elvis in his singing isn't all that bad, honestly. In any case, they do win the competition, though only because the one act is disqualified and they're the only remainders who don't get booed, and Jon is excited by the prize money and the trip to Hollywood to compete in the finals. But, when they get there, things turn sour for him when Garfield and Odie force him out of the act by smashing his guitar. He suspects they were behind it and is concerned about what they're going to do without a routine, only for them to come up with one that doesn't actively involve him. The night of the finals, Jon worries about what effect stardom will have on them, especially his pets, whom he feels may be leaving him behind. Thus, he's happy when they don't win the top prize, telling Garfield, once he's done ranting and trashing the backstage area, "We really haven't lost anything, Garfield. We're still a family. We still have each other," to which Garfield remarks, "Big, fat, hairy deal."

Other notable characters include the local Pet Search host (voiced by Gregg Berger), who acts all nice and enthusiastic about his job when he's on-camera but, in reality, is short-tempered and impatient, telling Jon and the boys in an aggravated tone not to be late onstage and getting really angry when, just before the cameras start rolling, a chihuahua from one of the acts runs in and bites onto his leg. As he tries to shake him off, it's obvious the guy isn't as enthusiastic about animals

as he may seem, calling the dog "stupid" and grumbling incoherently about what he would do if it wasn't for the show. During the Pet Search finals in Hollywood, he's replaced by a much more affable, and better-looking, M.C. named Burt (voiced by Frank Welker) who, despite his niceness, gets nasty looks and reactions from the acts who end up losing. Among the lackluster competitors the boys go up against initially are Grandma Fogerty (voiced by Gregg Berger) and her bird, the "Amazing Petey," who doesn't seem to

be doing so good as he lies in his cage with his feet sticking up, and a man named Herbie (voiced by Nino Tempo), whose "Five Tap-Dancing Pigeons" all fly away as soon as he introduces them. In Hollywood, they have to contend with acts such as the "Lemon Sister," a trio of singing chickens; the "Tumbling Garbanzo Brothers," a quartet of acrobatic dogs; Miles the Jazz Canary, a canary who whistles jazz tunes; and Desiree the Classical Cat (voiced by Desiree Goyette), a cat who sings "meow" as an opera solo.

From a design and animation standpoint, Garfield Goes Hollywood meets the standards of the series. The animation is fair for the first half of the special, especially when Garfield and Odie do their dance routines and during the "Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps" performance at Pet Search, but when they get to Hollywood, it becomes more fluid in general. As for the art direction and design, the special starts out with the normality of Jon's home and the low-rent, rather raggedy-looking interiors of the local WBOR TV station, especially the

backstage area and the dressing rooms, but then switches to the posh and ritzy glamour of Hollywood. The very fancy, five-star hotel they stay at has a gigantic lobby with an enormous, golden chandelier, and their room is a big, luxurious suite with really nice furniture and a bed with a high canopy. When the night of the Pet Search finals comes around, you see the outside of the studio, with big spotlights, a marquee, and a long carpet leading inside, and the boys' private 

dressing room is worlds away from the dinky, rundown one they had back home, with fresh flowers and a dressing screen with a flower pattern decoration on its front. Even the backstage area much fancier and better maintained, with lots of pink-colored curtains, and the stage and audience area looks like an opera house with how vast it is, as well as with its balconies and a chandelier. And the cartoon is also full of many lovely vistas of the countryside during the boys' trip to Hollywood and of the town itself, especially during the night of the finals.

There are a couple of memorably stylized sequences here, including a montage when they first arrive in Hollywood, set to a song by Lou Rawls. You see a freeway sign for Hollywood floating by a palm tree up against a sky with a bright yellow sun, a limousine driving past some palms up against a blue sky, a pan down of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, and a shot passing by signs pointing to Wilshire Boulevard and Beverly Drive, and then, it becomes all the more stylized. You see a shot of the boys driving in front of a

building on a street corner that appears to be an actual photo with some filters over it, a freeway with cars driving in a series of dissolves, a shot of what initially looks like the moon, only for it to be revealed as a sign for the Hollywood Bowl, an actual shot of John Wayne's footprints in the cement, which Garfield puts his foot on, a sign that reads "Garfield PL.", and a series of various stars from the Walk of Fame. After Garfield declares that he could get used to the star treatment, the

sequence ends on the letters that make up the HOLLYWOOD sign popping up on screen, one at a time, and a shot of the sign itself. While not quite as stylized as that, there's another sequence shortly afterward where Garfield dreams of being a movie star, as you see him act out scenes from Singin' in the Rain, Royal Wedding, The Wizard of Oz, and others in front of full color backgrounds.

As I said in the introduction, like with Garfield in Paradise, I feel Garfield Goes Hollywood doesn't do nearly enough with its story. Like with both Garfield in Paradise and Garfield in the Rough, the basic premise of taking Garfield out of the comforts of his home and placing him in a different environment, in this case, Tinseltown, has a lot of potential, but he, Odie, and Jon don't get to Hollywood until around the halfway point and, regardless, this special is not even concerned with him getting into a bunch of hijinks. Instead, it's

about the idea of fame going to his head and causing him to become greedy and selfish in his quest for stardom, and while I would've liked seeing him and Odie getting up to mischief in Hollywood, Beverley Hills, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood Bowl, and so on, I can appreciate this story they want to tell instead, as it also has a lot of potential. It could've turned out like Garfield on the Town, which you go into expecting to just see Garfield goofing around on the city streets but what you get is a surprisingly poignant,

heartwarming story about his roots, his family, and Jon trying to find him. But I don't think they quite made it here, and a big reason for that is because they only had 25 minutes to tell the story. Thus, we very quickly go from Garfield being embarrassed about the act Jon forces him into and not being enthusiastic about doing it on national television, to him suddenly becoming obsessed with fame and willing to do whatever he can to achieve it, even if it means hurting his owner. While I can kind of let

that go, as they do show the glitz and glamour of Hollywood getting to him, I think they should've done more with the idea of what fame can do to you. We see him and Odie edging out Jon by smashing his guitar but, if they'd been given an hour time slot, they might've been able to go farther, with Garfield maybe sabotaging the other acts before the finals and then, after he's won and become famous, he does something to royally screw over Odie as well. And finally, you could've

had him experiencing the downside of fame and wishing for his old life, leading him leaving Hollywood behind. Cliche, I know, but I think Garfield could've made it enjoyable enough to where it didn't matter. Instead, we just get a taste of all that, with Jon worrying about fame making them hard, forgetting who they are, and causing Garfield and Odie to forget him, while Garfield flat-out says he hopes that happens and doesn't care who he has to step on to achieve success. Then, they lose the competition, Garfield throws a tantrum on stage, and by the end, he's learned nothing of what Jon was trying to make him understand. You could say I'm missing the point but, on the whole, I just found this story to be half-baked and so-so.

The special opens with Garfield dancing into view atop a fence, announcing, "Hello, folks, how do you do? Garfield here to entertain you." When he gets no response at all, he comments, "Thank you for that large round of indifference." We then see that Odie is also there, playing the drums for Garfield's punchlines, and Garfield introduces him as "Mr. Skins." That doesn't get any response either, but Garfield says, "I know you're out there. I can hear ya breathing." He attempts an impression:

"Cat On a Hot Tin Roof," i.e. him jumping in place and holding his feet as if they're burning. That does get one, single instance of clapping, to which Garfield says, "Thank you, Mom." Next going for some jokes, he says, "I know a dog who was so ugly, cars chased him!", but Odie, not appreciating that, throws one of his drum sticks at Garfield's head and growls. Deciding against the dog jokes, Garfield then says, "This cat is walkin' down the street when a big, surly dog jumps out of the alley,

grabs the cat, and throws him against the wall. He picks the cat up and says, 'Your money or your nine lives.'" Again, that joke gets nothing, and when he repeats the punchline, he gets a pie in the face, to which he replies, "Nice touch." Deciding to "warm things up," he says, "All your mothers wear Army boots!", leading to the offscreen audience throwing things at both him and Odie. They both get knocked off the back of the fence but they climb back up and Garfield, happy that he has everyone's

attention, goes into his and Odie's dance number. They do so during the opening credits, as Lou Rawls sings the song, "They Love Us." People continue throwing things at them, like boots, flowerpots, tomatoes, tennis rackets, and such. At the end of it, Odie gets knocked off by a boot to the face, while Garfield gets another pie in his. He climbs back up on the fence and, as he wipes the cream off his face and shoves it out of his ears, he says, "I love show business. It's in my blood, and my ears, between my toes, up my nose..."

Later, they're watching Pet Search with Jon, which the host describes as, "The show that says, 'No matter how insignificant you are, your pet may be a star!'" After hearing the prize for winning the local competition, they see who won the previous week: Mountain Man Dan and his dog, Blue, an old man in a rocking chair, playing the banjo, as his hound sits next to him, his tail wagging back and forth underneath the rocker. Dan sings, " I have a dog/his name is Blue/he sings real good/he sings...", and

then, Blue's tail gets caught under the rocker and he goes, "Awoo!" Garfield knows he and Odie are much better than that, and when Jon mentions how he wished they had some talent, they prove it to him by performing their dance routine. Ecstatic at the idea of becoming rich and famous, Jon talks about coming up with an act, complete with costumes, rehearsing day and night (to which Garfield says, "Day and night? Forget it,"), and accompanying music. He pulls out a guitar and

starts strumming, much to Garfield and Odie's chagrin. Later, they arrive at the WBOR TV station, which Garfield describes as, "A low tech studio in a high tech society," and see some of their competition. Among them is a man making his chihuahua, Flippy, do flips for a bone, only for him to fall off his pedestal; "Rollo, the Skating Bear," who can't skate well at all (he's on roller-blades, mind you); a guy with a parrot hanging upside down from his outstretched arm; and another guy making a goldfish jump through hoops. Garfield 

gets a big smile on his face upon seeing the latter, and while Jon and Odie go to the dressing room, he stands in front of the goldfish's bowl and puts the hoop out in front of his open mouth. In the next cut, he joins Odie and Jon in the dressing room, and when Jon asks where he was, he swallows, pats his stomach, and answers, "Eliminating some competition." The host then tells them they're on in five minutes and they prepare to change into their costumes. 

As the host starts the show while trying to get rid of Flippy, who's hanging off his leg, Jon and Odie come out of the dressing room in their 50's-style costumes, but Garfield is reluctant to join them, telling Jon, "Tell you what, you and Odie go on without me. Do a knife-throwing act or something." Jon, however, orders him to come out and he does, wearing his 50's greaser-like clothes and hairstyle. Jon tries to pep them up but Garfield has a sarcastic retort to everything he says: "Okay,

are we going out there tonight?" "Maybe!" "Are we gonna give the performance of our lives?" "Doubt it!" "Are we gonna win?" "Not a chance!" "Alright, let's do it!" Jon and Odie run out towards the stage wing, while Garfield hangs back and comments, "Let's not, and say we did." The first act, Grandma Fogerty and the "Amazing Petey" doesn't go too well, as she realizes from his feet sticking straight up in the cage and his not responding to her commands that Petey may need a doctor. The next

one, "Five Tap-Dancing Pigeons and Herbie," isn't much better, as after an introduction where Herbie says it took him seventeen years to train the pigeons, they simply fly away when he pulls back the curtain on their little stage. Then, Rollo comes in and grabs onto Herbie as he continues to skate uncontrollably throughout the studio, with the two of them crashing offscreen. Just off the stage, Jon is sure they have it in the bag, while Garfield says the act after them will, "Probably be a dog who plays five instruments at the same time." They're

up next, with the host introducing them as Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps (with Garfield's incredulous reaction, it's clear this is the first time he's heard it). Jon sings just like how he's dressed, with Garfield and Odie providing backup in weirdly feminine voices and with cheesy smiles on their faces. Like I said, as silly as they look, and despite the ridiculousness of the lyrics, such as, "The women all call me/They call me the Wizard of Love," and, "Well, I'm greasy as a gizzard/Cool like a lizard/But I know how to keep you HOT in a blizzard!" (Odie feigns fainting into Garfield's arms over that last one), Jon's singing isn't all that bad. And to their credit, they do get applause, something the other acts didn't, although Garfield still calls Jon's performance awful.

The host introduces the final act, "Bob the Wonder Dog," who, just as Garfield predicted, is going to play five instruments at once. The three of them figure they may have just lost the competition, when Bob is introduced sitting at and playing a piano with a glove at the end of a banjo he's also playing, blowing into both a harmonica and a horn, and using his foot to hit a drum. Odie, smelling a rat, goes behind Bob and finds a zipper on his back. He grabs his head from the back and pulls it

up to reveal it's a mask, outing him as a guy dressed up as a dog. He's promptly booed for this and the host disqualifies him. It's then time for the audience to vote for their favorite and the host motions all the acts to join him onstage. Jon tells Garfield and Odie good luck, but they're sure they're a cinch to win, as they give each other double high-fives before following him. In gauging the audience's opinion of each act, Fernando and Flippy the Chihuahua get booed, as do Pierre and Chatterbox the Parrot (who didn't even perform

and yet, get especially fierce boos), Grandma Fogerty and the Amazing Petey, and Five Tap-Dancing Pigeons and Herbie, the former of whom are still flying around the studio. Johnny Bop and the Two-Steps don't get any audience response but, because they're not booed, they're declared the winners, much to their delight. But when they get home that night, Garfield is just glad it's over and goes straight to his bed. He then groans about going to Hollywood and doing that act on national television. He goes to sleep, hoping things will work out by the Earth shifting, sending Hollywood tumbling into the ocean.

Their trip to Hollywood is visualized Indiana Jones style, with a map and a dotted line making its way to where Tinseltown is marked with an X. They stop on a ridge overlooking the city and, as they're wearing sunglasses, check it out, with Garfield commenting, "Boffo. Terrific. Don't change a thing. I love it just the way it is. Let's do lunch." Jon then says he hopes Hollywood is ready for them, a statement which Garfield isn't at all enthusiastic about. But then, during the montage

where they drive through Hollywood, he finds himself taken with the place and the idea of being so famous that his name becomes a household word. They arrive at their hotel and, when they walk into the lobby, Garfield is bowled over by it, saying, "This makes Jon's home look like a fleabag. No squeaky floors, no peeling wallpaper. Just class as far as the eye can see. I think I could get used to this. What more could a cat want?" He gets his answer when he sees their suite, especially 

the bed, gushing, "I'm so happy I could just cry... check that. I'm so happy I could just sleep... and dream." Following the sequence where he dreams about being in various famous movies, Jon breaks it to Garfield and Odie that they'll eventually have to go back to reality. But, when Jon goes to take a shower, Garfield decides, "Well, Jon and Odie can go back to reality if they want to, but I'm not. I'm staying. I'm gonna win that talent competition, become a star, and live out my days in the manner to which I'm going to be accustomed." He then

talks with Odie and the two of them decide they're not going to win the finals with Jon, so they decide to cut out some of the "deadwood." They spy Jon's guitar on the floor near the bed and, with Odie's help, Garfield knocks the lamp off the nightstand, smashing it to pieces. Jon comes out of the bathroom, preparing to tune the guitar up, only to let out a horrified shout when he sees what's happened to it. He grills Garfield and Odie about what happened but they both feign innocence, walking off while whistling. Not fooled by this, Jon asks what they're going to do, and Garfield, taking his hand and patting it, says, "Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing. Leave everything to us."

Come the night of the finals, the boys arrive at the studio in a limousine and walk down the carpet. After arriving at their private dressing room, Garfield peeks out the door and sees the other acts rehearsing, realizing that the competition is far more talented and competent than what they went up against back home. They include a big pig playing a piano and a trio of ballet dancing dogs. Later, with Garfield and Odie in the costumes for their new act, he and Jon have another back and forth as Jon laments the effect fame might have on

them: "You know, could it be life in Hollywood might change us?" "I hope so." "Could it be life in the fast-lane might make us hard?" "I could live with that." "Could it be we'll forget who we really are?" "Only if we're lucky." "That we'll hurt the little people?" "Hey, I don't care who I step on on the way up, 'cause I ain't coming back down." Garfield and Odie then head out of the room, leaving Jon behind, as he ponders, "Could it be, you'll forget about me?" The finals then begin, with the host, Burt, and the announcer, Bob, listing the

prizes for winning, which include a six-week cruise, limousines, a big house with a pool, and a check for $1 million. As for second place, the prize is... a boat. Nothing more, nothing less. With that, the first act, the Lemon Sisters, is introduced and they do their thing: clucking a rendition of Rockin' Robin. Watching from the stage wing, Jon comments, "Those chickens were pretty good," to which Garfield concurs, "Yes, they are. We must have them for dinner some time." Next are the four

acrobatic dogs called the Garbanzo Brothers, with three of them stacking up on top of each other with the help of the fourth. To that, Jon says, "I didn't know dogs could tumble," and Garfield comments, "Yeah, but are they housebroken?" After that is Miles the Jazz Canary, who whistles a jazzy tune while wearing sunglasses and a blue shirt. Jon then tells Garfield and Odie, "Winning all those prizes would be great, guys. But getting back to our real home will be even greater, right?", to which Garfield says, "He's got to be kidding."

Garfield and Odie are up next, introduced as the "Dancing Armandoes," from Muncie, Indiana (Jim Davis' hometown, by the way). The two of them proceed to do a romantic dance number, with Garfield dressed up in French-style clothes and a beret, while Odie wears a dress, fishnet stockings, red high-heels, a brown wig with a small hat, and lipstick, while holding a rose in his mouth. They get a chair involved, with Garfield putting it under Odie as he hops into it, and he also holds up Odie up like a ballerina in one instance (before dropping

him to the floor). It goes over well, and when they rejoin Jon in the wing, Garfield is convinced they can't lose. That's when the final act, Desiree the Classical Cat, is introduced, and she proceeds to do an opera solo, singing, "Meow," again and again and hitting a note so high that it cracks both a spotlight and the glass of water Jon's holding. The M.C. announces that a decision has been reached, with fifth, fourth, and third place going to the Lemon Sisters, Miles the Jazz Canary, and the Tumbling Garbanzo Brothers respectively, none of

whom are happy with the decision, as they either walk off the stage, blow a raspberry at the M.C., or simply seethe with anger. He's then given the envelope which will reveal second and first place, as Garfield, Jon, and Odie watch nervously from the wing. He drops the envelope to the stage, drawing the tension out all the more, much to Garfield's anxiety, and when he reads it, he reveals that the Dancing Armandoes got second place, while Desiree won first. As Desiree runs back

onstage for the applause, Garfield flips out, throwing his beret to the floor and jumping on it, kicking away a spotlight, and drawing his claws down a curtain, all while yelling, "We've been robbed! I demand a recount! The judges were paid off! Ripoff! We've been rooked! Call Ralph Nader! We've lost everything!" That's when Jon tries to tell him they're still a family but that's little consolation for him.

Coming in second-place, they've won a nice sailboat, which has been named the S.S. Garfield. Standing on deck, Jon, again, tells Garfield and Odie that they might not have been cut out for the stardom Pet Search would've afforded them but Garfield comments, "Speak for yourself, Jon. Some of us were born to be great." Deciding to, at least, enjoy their boat, they fantasize about sailing to various exotic places like the south of France, the Fiji Islands, the Gold Coast of Australia, and the Caribbean Islands... when, in reality, because they live in a landlocked state, they can't go any further than their own backyard.

In terms of songs and music, Garfield Goes Hollywood has two songs sung by Lou Rawls. The first, They Love Us, plays during the opening credits, and it's all about how "successful" Garfield and Odie's routine on the fence is, contrasting completely with their getting stuff thrown at them. The other one, Hollywood Feels So Good, plays during the stylized sequence of Garfield, Odie, and Jon first arriving in Hollywood, and is all about the glamour and wonder of Tinseltown, playing into how Garfield is completely taken with the idea of stardom and decides he wants it. The actual music score by Ed Bogas and Desiree Goyette often features instrumentals of both of those songs, as well as The Wizard of Love that Jon sings during his and the boys' Pet Search act, and has plenty of other memorable themes, many of them very fitting with the idea of Hollywood and show business in general, like a rather solemn saxophone number which you first hear at the very beginning, and is played again when Jon laments what fame may do to them, as well as what sounds like a really cool sax instrumental of Here Comes Garfield from the very first special. The Pet Search theme is a typical glitzy-sounding show tune, there's a simple horn theme for when the boys arrive at the finals, a tense buildup to the revelation of who won the finals, a dreamy theme when they're fantasizing about what to do with the boat they won at the end, and plenty of funny pieces for whenever things go awry, like when Garfield gets stuff hurled at him during his and Odie's act on the fence and when Rollo the Bear crashes into Herbie when his act doesn't work out at all. That's to say nothing of the musical accompaniments for the various acts, like the Lemon Sisters' rendition of Rockin' Robin, the classical music during the Garbanzo Brothers' act, Miles' upbeat, jazzy tune, and the tango-like piece that plays during Garfield and Odie's "Dancing Armandoes" routine.

As I've said before, none of these Garfield specials are out and out bad, and Garfield Goes Hollywood is no exception. It's as well-animated and designed as the rest of them, has some memorably stylized scenes and sequences, some funny moments, and very memorable songs and music, but, on the flip side, I feel it's very so-so at the end of the day, with a story they could've done so much more with had they been given ample time to do so. It's certainly not the weakest of these specials, but it's also not as classic or iconic as many of the ones that came before it, nor is it as effective or memorable as some made before and after it. I do recommend it for fans and, who knows, you may get something out of it that I don't, but for me, it's just kind of there.