So, do I agree with the general consensus that this is the absolute worst Godzilla movie ever? I don't know about the absolute worst but I do think it's one of the worst. There are other Godzilla films down the road that are just as, or perhaps even more, difficult for me to get through than this one and I do think that there are some that are worse on a technical level but, still, if I were to rank the entire franchise, Godzilla's Revenge would still end up very, very low on the list. I know there are some who defend it and say that there's more to it than most think there is, which I applaud them for and sort of agree with, but, that said, this isn't a very good movie overall in my opinion. And it's not because it was geared towards kids, because Son of Godzilla was also geared heavily towards kids and I really like that one. Godzilla's Revenge, aka All Monsters Attack (both of those titles are a load of bull and make no sense in context, especially the one that I'm going with; who is Godzilla getting revenge on?), however, despite some things I do like, is meant for kids in a way that I don't care for. It's too cartoonish, goofy, and, for lack of a better word, childish for its own good, and is also pretty boring as well, even if it is just 69 minutes long. But, enough beating around the bush, let's get into the details of why I, and a lot of other fans, don't care for this film at all.
Ichiro is an imaginative kid but rather lonely kid whose only friends are a young girl his age and a toymaker who lives in the same apartment building he does. Every day, Ichiro is bullied by a group of kids led by a boy whom he refers to as Gabara and is often by himself at home since his parents usually have to work long hours to make ends meet. Ichiro is also a huge fan of Godzilla and the other monsters on Monster Island and one day, after coming from school, he dreams about visiting the island, where he watches Godzilla battle the monsters that he shares his home with and plays with Godzilla's son, Minya. Like Ichiro, Minya is also picked on and bullied; in his case, it's by a hideous ogre who's also known as Gabara. Ichiro is woken up from this dream by the toymaker, Shinpei, who tells him that his parents have to work late again, much to the kid's chagrin. After agreeing to eat dinner with Shinpei later that night, Ichiro goes out to play and, after wandering into a rundown, abandoned building, finds and takes several items, including a driver's license. Said license belongs to one of two bank robbers who have recently stolen 50 million yen and are hiding in the building until they are able to find a getaway vehicle. One of the criminals follows Ichiro back to his apartment building and, upon figuring out which apartment is his, heads back to his partner, who intends to kidnap Ichiro to use him as a means of insurance should they run into the police. Meanwhile, Ichiro falls asleep and dreams about being on Monster Island again. After learning that Godzilla is trying to get Minya to stand up for himself and not be a coward, he and Minya watch the King of the Monsters duke it out with Ebirah and Kumonga before Minya is forced to battle Gabara again, which doesn't go well for the young monster. After Godzilla dispenses with some attacking fighter jets and then gives Minya some lessons about fighting and defending himself, Ichiro is woken up when he's kidnapped by the bank robbers and taken back to the abandoned building. After dreaming again and seeing Minya stand up to Gabara with both his and Godzilla's help, Ichiro decides that he must face his fears and stand up to and outsmart the criminals in order to escape.
Like I said in the previous review, Destroy All Monsters was meant to be the epic, grand finale of the Godzilla series, which had gradually been declining in box-office receipts since the enormous success of King Kong vs. Godzilla in 1962 due to the growing competition of television as well as other studios churning out similar films. It brought nearly all of the monsters featured in the previous Godzilla movies as well as Toho's other science fiction films together for one big, special effects-laden extravaganza, saw the death of King Ghidorah, and wrapped everything at the end with the monsters being taken back to Monsterland to live out the rest of their days in peace. It was fully intended by everyone, including series overseer Tomoyuki Tanaka, to be the end of it all. But then, as tends to occur with these types of big franchises, something happened. Actually, a couple of things happened. For one, Destroy All Monsters, while not a blockbuster, did better than Son of Godzilla and was also quite successful when it was released in America, prompting Toho to suspect that public interest in the franchise might be on the rise again and make them rethink their decision to end it. For another, Daiei Studios' rival Gamera franchise, which had begun in 1965, was becoming quite popular and had been made for cheap from the very beginning, with the fourth entry, Gamera vs. Viras, released the same year as Destroy All Monsters, having made extensive use of stock footage. In fact, for a section of that film where Gamera is put under the mind control of the alien invaders and used to destroy major cities, they reused footage from the original film, even though it was black and white and caused the otherwise color film to inexplicably become monochrome! What's more, save for the second film, Gamera vs. Barugon, the Gamera series had always been aimed at children and had even featured them as main characters. Gamera himself was even touted as being a friend to all children. Toho and Tanaka took one look at the popularity of these films and said, "Hey, we can do that! We can build a movie around stock footage and gear it towards kids, as well as feature one as a main character!" And thus, Godzilla's Revenge came about as nothing more than a cheap cash-in for kids, with very little new monster footage intended to be added to the extensively used material from previous films in order to save money. I guess I shouldn't be too critical of Toho since, let's face it, the only reason a franchise keeps going on and on in the first place is due to the prospect of money, but I still find it disappointing that this was the mindset they had going into the film, which is as plain as day in the finished product.
Given this film's reputation as being the worst Godzilla movie, you wouldn't be out of line in thinking that someone other than Ishiro Honda was in the director's chair but, astonishingly, the director of the original Godzilla as well as the absolute best of the original series was the one behind this film. However, I strongly suspect that he was very reluctant in helming this film. After Destroy All Monsters, Honda had directed Latitude Zero, a sci-fi flick that had Akira Takarada starring alongside Joseph Cotten and Cesar Romero, and when filming on that movie was done, he was pressed into directing Godzilla's Revenge. While Honda may have been a loyal company man who typically took whatever job the studio assigned him, I'm sure that he was very reluctant to do another Godzilla movie after Destroy All Monsters had been declared to be the last one. Plus, given his disdain for the series' increasingly ridiculous nature, we can surmise that working on this especially childish film must have been excruciating for Honda (I'm willing to bet that he probably disliked doing this film even more than he probably did the equally silly King Kong Escapes). He was also pulling double-duty here because, with Eiji Tsuburaya far too ill to participate, he had to direct the few new monster scenes himself, with help from Tsuburaya's assistant, Teruyoshi Nakano. Honda's directing career was gradually winding down at this point. After Godzilla's Revenge, he would direct Space Amoeba, known over here as Yog, Monster from Space and then would depart from Toho, working mainly in television in the early to mid-1970's, before returning in 1975 to direct what would prove to be both his last film as well as the last entry in the Showa Godzilla series, Terror of Mechagodzilla. 
There had certainly been kids in the Godzilla movies before, most notably that one in King Kong vs. Godzilla who tells his mother that he wants to go see the Big G, but up to this point, they had always been background characters or had appeared in one scene with little to no lines. Tomonori Yazaki as Ichiro marks the first time that a kid had a lead role in one of these flicks and it wouldn't be the only instance of this, either (although, it would be the only one where a kid actually was the lead character). For many people, Ichiro is one of the many things that people don't like about this film. They find him to be really annoying in the way he talks and also don't care for his lamenting about how he's alone all the time and how he's picked on. I, however, disagree with this notion to a point because, for the most part, I don't mind Ichiro. He's not one of my favorite human characters in a Godzilla movie but, as someone whom you have to follow through an entire film, I've come across much worse, especially when it comes to child actors. I don't find him to be that annoying (at least, in the Japanese version; the English dubbing done for him is another matter) and I rather sympathize with this latchkey kid who's alone it seems for 99% of the time, whose only friends, due to his overactive imagination and strange interests, are a little girl who doesn't seem to share those interests and a toymaker who lives down the hall from him in his apartment building who sympathizes but doesn't seem to entirely get him either, and who has to deal with bullies (although, as I'll talk about later on, the human Gabara isn't much of a bully). I can actually kind of relate to him. I wasn't a latchkey kid growing up but I was ostracized and didn't have many friends due to my interests and so, like Ichiro, I mostly had to entertain myself. Case in point, Ichiro's only real means of fun and escape from his crappy life is to dream about being on Monster Island, watching his hero Godzilla beat up on other monsters and hanging out with Minya. I wouldn't have minded that when I was a kid! And eventually, after understanding the lessons learned by Minya from Godzilla about standing up for and taking care of yourself when you're on your own, Ichiro decides to do the same and outwits these two bank robbers who end up kidnapping him, which is what you wanted him to do once he was taken prisoner. But, after he learns this lesson, Ichiro goes from being a fairly likable kid to being a bully himself. He beats the snot out of Gabara with very little provocation (Gabara's dialogue beforehand in the Japanese version makes Ichiro's actions seem even more reprehensible), causes this guy who's painting a billboard to fall and get paint all over himself, asks his dad to apologize for him, and, as the movie ends, is hanging out with Gabara and his gang! (What was the point of even beating Gabara up in the first place, then?) He had some slightly bratty moments before, like when he was messing with the car that the toymaker had up for sale outside and when he wasn't too sympathetic when the toymaker accidentally burned his foot, but those were just typical things you'd expect from a kid. This, however, is not cool and makes you wonder just what exactly Ichiro learned from his "experiences" on Monster Island. David Kalat and other film historians have given reasons for why Ichiro's behavior is justifiable and while those reasons, which I'll get into later, do have merit, I'm still not at all onboard with the crap he pulls at the end of this movie, especially with what he did to that poor guy who was painting. That was just assholish, to say the least.
Hideyo Amamoto, an unusual-looking actor who typically played bad guys, plays against type here as Shinpei, the toymaker who is Ichiro's only real friend and also acts as something of a father figure since his real father is typically never around. It's obvious that he's a close friend of Ichiro's family since he's the one who keeps the key to their apartment for Ichiro when he comes home from school and, like them, appears to be in dire need of making some money with his toys, which is also why he's trying to sell his car. He sympathizes with Ichiro's plight, understands that he's rather lonely, and also tries his best to give him some advice, telling him that he shouldn't let Gabara and his gang push him around and that he shouldn't be too hard on his parents for working late again because they're doing their best to make ends meet for his sake. In order to perhaps take his mind off his worries, he also tells him that he intends to test his toys on him from now on in order to make sure that they meet a child's standards. You would think that, given his appearance and the general trope associated with these types of characters, Shinpei would be a very comical character but, except for a moment where he accidentally burns his foot and hops up and down while yelling in pain, that's not the case. Amamoto plays him in a fairly straightforward, albeit mainly lighthearted, manner and is quite believable as a kind, gentle old toymaker (I say old but, in actuality, Amamoto was much younger than he looked when he made this film) who serves as this boy's friend and surrogate father. He does it so well that it's a shame to learn that the actor himself didn't particularly care for this role. In any case, Shinpei is the one who inadvertently ends up saving Ichiro when he discovers his own car has been moved near an abandoned building and calls the police to the scene just when the boy is being chased by the knife-wielding leader of the crooks. Ultimately, he comes to understand Ichiro's fascination with monsters and tells a group of reporters at the end of the film this kid is inspired by them in the same way that adults would be inspired by real life heroes or even gods. If you haven't figure it out by now, I really like the character of Shinpei and I think that he's actually the best part of the movie's human cast. 
The two bumbling bank robbers in this film are so reminiscent of Harry and Marv from the first two Home Alone movies (and the climax, for that matter, is so much like the one in Home Alone 2) that it makes you wonder if John Hughes ever saw this movie. In the original Japanese version, these two guys are never given names (in the American version, the leader is referred to as Roy at one point) but they do have names in official cast lists for the film so I will refer to them as such to make things simpler. Senbayashi, the sunglasses-wearing leader, is played by Sachio Sakai, who played the reporter Hagiwara in the original Godzilla and had a small role as Tako's much put-upon assistant in King Kong vs. Godzilla. He's by far the more threatening of the two, with his dark sunglasses and the knife that he's constantly wielding in order to keep Ichiro from crying out and is also the one who comes up with the idea to kidnap Ichiro in order to get back the license that he picked up when his partner, Okuda (Kazuo Suzuki), dropped it as well as to use him as protection in case they run into the cops. He acts pretty intimidating towards Ichiro to keep him from getting any ideas about attempting to escape or cry for help and is constantly berating and beating on Okuda for his stupidity, albeit in a comical fashion. But, that said, Senbayashi has more than his fair share ineptitude, tripping over things, banging the top of his head and then his face one after the other against things, and even stupidly putting his finger on a hot part of a car motor and burning his finger in the process. Okuda is the much more comedic and clumsy of the two criminals, constantly getting into trouble, tripping over and hitting things, falling right through a hole in the floor and badly hurting his leg at one point, and, at the end of the movie, actually trying to slip out of their hideout even though the police are not more than twelve feet away from the entrance! He's also the one who was dumb enough to let his driver's license fall out of his pocket and through the floor when he looked down through a big hole in one of the upper floors of the abandoned building they use as a hideout, which allows Ichiro to get ahold of it. But, despite his clumsiness, Okuda shows that he can be a rather competent criminal with how he tails Ichiro back to his apartment building and discovers which floor he lives on, and also with how he hijacks a car to use in their getaway, changes a flat tire off-screen, and how he seems to have some mechanical skills since he's the one who Senbayashi counts on to deal with the car's engine when it won't start. He's also fairly threatening to Ichiro when he admonishes him for taking his license at one point. All in all, these two guys might not be all that original in concept but they're not bad either and the two actors play them fairly well and even manage to make them kind of likable in a villainous, slapstick way.
The kid whom Ichiro refers to as Gabara (Junichi Ito), although we find out in the Japanese version that his name is really Sanko, is the one who, supposedly, bullies Ichiro to no end and, therefore, you would expect to be a character whom you'd really want to see get his comeuppance in the end. Unfortunately, this is really hampered by how Gabara is not only not in much of the movie but, when he is there, is far from the meanest, cruelest bully you've ever seen. Except for the beginning of the movie when he shoves Ichiro out of his way, he doesn't hit him or attack him in any physical way, nor does he even threaten to do so. In fact, the only instance of real bullying that we see him doing to Ichiro after that is when he forces him to give him a vacuum tube that he found and then dares him to honk the horn on the bicycle of the guy painting that billboard. Other than that, it just comes down to calling him a coward for not doing so and laughing when Ichiro runs away. Oh, and his friends make weird noises at Ichiro. That's just more annoying than it is bullying. Moreover, when Ichiro comes upon the gang fishing by the waterfront, Gabara motions for him to come over in a rather nonthreatening way, although Ichiro runs away, and at the end of the movie when Ichiro comes face to face with him again, Gabara simply asks him, at least in the Japanese version, if he wants to join their gang. That dialogue makes Ichiro's reaction and subsequent attack on Gabara feel very out of left field and needlessly violent. At least in the American version, they had Gabara say, "Where do you think you're going?" in a threatening manner, as well as make some of his other dialogue in the film sound more mean-spirited (although that moment at the waterfront still doesn't feel like it's done in a bully way), in order to justify Ichiro's reaction but in the Japanese version, it feels like Ichiro just gets into a fight with him for no good reason. And also, let me reiterate that, after Ichiro beats Gabara up, he does what he wanted him to do in the first place and honks the horn on that poor billboard painter and then begins hanging out with him and his gang, so it makes you wonder why Ichiro attacked him in the first place. Bottom line, if you want to make a movie that's about standing up for yourself against bullies, you need to actually make the bully a despicable, loathsome character instead of nothing more than an occasionally annoying brat because it's not going to look good when your lead kid stands up to him, fights him, and kicks his ass. 
Kenji Sahara must have been trying to fill up some sort of quota around this time because, as it was in the early 60's, he's here for his third Godzilla film in a row in the very small role of Ichiro's father. While Sahara, as always, is good and it's nice to see him again, he only has three brief scenes in the entire film and, therefore, doesn't have much of anything to do. But that said, you do sympathize with him in the scene where he explains to a coworker that Ichiro's alone most of the time and that he's working so much in order to make enough money so he can move his family into a better place, although he has no idea when that will happen. And at the end of the movie, you also sympathize with him, albeit in a much different way, when Ichiro gets him to cover for him after he causes that billboard painter to get paint all over himself, particularly when you see the horrified look on the guy's face when he realizes what his son has done and when, in the Japanese version, you hear him say that he'll pay to have the paint cleaned off. That latter bit of dialogue that he's going to have to spend some of his hard-earned money on cleaning this man's clothes makes you dislike the type of person that Ichiro has become by this point even more. You also sympathize with Ichiro's mother (Machiko Naka), who only has two scenes, since she has to work late as well and clearly feels bad about leaving Ichiro home alone again. At the end of the film after Ichiro has been rescued from the criminals, she tells him that she won't work late again, no matter what, but Ichiro says that he understands that she must do so in order to help make ends meet and that he's fine with it. After he leaves for school (why is she letting him go to school the day after he was kidnapped?), you can see her silently crying over the fact that, despite her son's more positive attitude, the situation that led to Ichiro being kidnapped is unchanged, probably won't be for a while, if ever, and there's nothing that she or her husband can do about it. It makes you feel even more for sympathy for her than you did Ichiro's dad. A couple of other familiar faces also have small roles in the film. Yoshifumi Tajima, in his last role in a Godzilla movie until The Return of Godzilla in 1984, and Chotaro Togin appear as detectives searching for the two bank robbers. They warn Shinpei at one point that his car out front might be in danger of being stolen by them (he doesn't listen, though) and latter share a meal and conversation with him at a small bar, telling that it's embarrassing to go back to headquarters empty-handed and that they're going to continue searching after their break. The bartender there, who asks exactly how big 50 million yen would be, is played by a constant bit player in these movies named Ikio Sawamura. If you're a constant watcher of these movies, you should be familiar with this guy since, by this point, he's appeared in King Kong vs. Godzilla as the Faro Island witchdoctor, Mothra vs. Godzilla as a priest, Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster as the honest fisherman, Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster as one of the Red Bamboo's slaves, and Destroy All Monsters as an old farmer. He also had similar bit parts in other Toho sci-fi films like Battle in Outer Space, Frankenstein Conquers the World, War of the Gargantuas, and King Kong Escapes. He would only appear in one more Godzilla movie after this, though. While many view Godzilla's Revenge as nothing more than a cheap cash-in aimed at children (and a bad one, at that), others such as David Kalat point out that, like all good Godzilla movies, there is some deeper subtext to be found in it. You probably just laughed upon reading that but hear me out because, while I don't entirely agree with what Kalat said, a lot of it does make sense. He describes the movie as being a tale of childhood and growing up in the dense and crowded urban areas that had become a huge issue in Japan by the end of the 60's. According to Kalat, large real estate prices began to push housing projects like the one that Ichiro lives in farther and farther out into the suburbs, which meant that workers often had to travel long distances to their jobs and that their kids were usually left to fend for themselves back home. Poverty also meant that, like Ichiro's parents, adults had to work very long hours in order to make ends meet, resulting in their children becoming latchkey kids and being left alone for days at a time. In this context, Kalat describes how the seemingly cheerful ending isn't as happy as it seems, since the overall problem that left Ichiro home alone and vulnerable to the bank robbers hasn't been solved and, it's very likely, never will be. As I said above, it's no doubt why Ichiro's mother begins crying after he tells her that he understands that his parents have no choice but to work around the clock and that he's fine with it. This whole situation, according to Kalat, leads into Ichiro's bullying actions at the end of the movie. Not only is it a result of the lesson he learned from his dreams about being on Monster Island but it's also due to this entire social problem that's forced him to fend for himself in a dangerous world; in other words, at this point, Ichiro has learned that he can't count on anyone but himself. That latter part, however, is what I have trouble with. Maybe I'm naïve since I grew up with parents who worked typical 9 to 5 jobs and were always there for me but I still think that Ichiro's actions at the end of the film are really out of line and uncalled for. After outsmarting those two bank robbers, Ichiro says he understands that his parents are going to have to keep working around the clock, meaning he'll have to continue to fend for himself, which I get and am more than fine with. And even though I think that Gabara's being a less than effectively hateful bully makes the beatdown he receives from Ichiro feel rather excessive, I'm willing to let it slide given how he did do some mean things to Ichiro before and with how Ichiro says that he hates bullies. But, I just can't get over honking that horn on that painter, causing him to fall and get paint all over himself. There was no reason for him to do that because the guy, unlike the bank robbers or even Gabara's gang, posed no threat to him whatsoever and his asking his dad to cover for him makes it even worse. And, for the third time, why did he beat Gabara up only to start hanging out with him and his gang as the movie ends? Doesn't seem right for a kid who's supposedly learn to rely on no one other than himself, does it? As always, I applaud both Ishiro Honda and Shinichi Sekizawa for adding social commentary and satire into one of these films, especially one that was meant to be nothing more than a very cheap cash-in on an already very cheap cash-in, but I don't think it worked the way they intended it to and actually made the lead character rather unlikable by the movie's end.
Despite my misgivings about what the film's commentary leads to at the end, I will say that Honda does a very good job in showing us why someone living in this place, especially a child, would want to escape from their reality. This environment is as depressing and unwelcoming as you can get. At the beginning of the film, when Ichiro and his friend are walking home from school, we see shots of factories that are thick with smog and have large, black plumes of smoke emitting from their stacks, as well as highways that are jam-packed with honking cars that are spewing even more pollutants into the air with their exhaust. In fact, the sounds of the machines at the factories and the cars are present throughout this opening, reminding us of what's just off-camera during the shots of Ichiro and the other kids. The environment doesn't get much better when we follow Ichiro to the apartment complex where he lives with his parents. The outside of the place, complete with the dusty grounds and the beat up car that Shinpei has for sale out front, gives the impression that it's seen better days and when we get inside, we see that the walls aren't exactly spotless, the doors to the apartments are gray, uninviting metal, and the apartments themselves look quite small. They're enough to support Ichiro by himself but try to imagine him and both of his folks in there at one time. And, keep in mind, Ichiro is often completely alone in this place for days at a time, with his only friend here being Shinpei, who's often busy with his toy-making profession, although he certainly spends more time with the kid than his own parents do. As a result of this loneliness, Ichiro often goes outside to play on the dusty roads and in the abandoned, possibly condemned, building near his house that's probably more dangerous than the roads with all of the junk lying around and the holes in the floors that are big enough for an adult to fall through. He also picks up less than sanitary objects like vacuum tubes and a set of old, worn out headphones to use as toys since his parents undoubtedly can't afford actual ones, apparent when you see the little "radio" that he plays with at one point, which does look as if he made it himself. In short, this is no place for a child to grow up and it's certainly not an environment that you'd want your kids to be in for extended periods of time by themselves, which was a common complaint of people who lived in these types of places. It's small wonder that the next film, Godzilla vs. Hedorah, tackled this issue of pollution and industrial decay head on and had Godzilla battle a creature that was spawned from them. Before we talk about the monsters, let's briefly address an interesting issue concerning them in this movie: do monsters actually exist in this world? It's never made clear whether this story is set in the monster-filled reality that we've been seeing in the other films or if this is actually the real world where Godzilla and his co-stars only exist in movies. One could make arguments towards both. You could very easily say that Ichiro is a fan of the films and that his daydreams about being on Monster Island with Godzilla and Minya are no different from those that real-life young fans of the character would have. In fact, you could use that as an explanation for the extended use of stock footage here, that Ichiro is now actually experiencing these sequences that he's seen in the previous films in his subconscious. Plus, Ichiro's extensive knowledge about the other monsters could come from the movies and the fact that he has a Godzilla toy can also be seen as a tipoff. At the same time, though, this could very well be taking place in the reality where Godzilla and the other monsters are real. Again, let's not forget about that kid way back in King Kong vs. Godzilla who was actually excited when he had heard that Godzilla was nearby and that was back when the Big G was still a bad guy. Since he had become something of a protector of Japan by this point, it's not so farfetched that he would have young fans like Ichiro would fantasize about meeting him on Monster Island. That's why Ichiro's suggestion that Shinpei make a computer with monsters' roars programmed into it would be a very successful item. The other monsters like Rodan and Mothra had also visited Japan so many times that they would be known by kids as well, like those two boys in Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster who wanted to see Mothra when they were on that television show. While you may quickly point to that Godzilla toy, later films where Godzilla is very much real also feature action figures of him (hell, the next film has a brief shot of a King Ghidorah action figure!) But then again, neither Rodan nor Mothra appear in Ichiro's dreams, even though he does know of them, and, taking Destroy All Monsters out of the equation since it takes place in the future, the other monsters that he dreams of seeing, like Anguirus and Manda, have either visited Japan only once by this point (and were presumed dead as well) or, in the case of Gorosaurus, Ebirah, and Kumonga, not at all. So, it's a tricky question and, like all great gray areas in cinema, has no solid answer, leaving you to figure it out for yourself. For me personally, it's not something that I wrack my brains over because there are so many things that support either possibility (such as how all the monsters can now be living on an island together when Monsterland is decades away) and, since I don't care for this film as a whole, it doesn't matter all that much to me. Just make of it what you will for yourself.
I'm only going to talk about Godzilla, Minya, and Gabara here because the other monsters that you see, save for a brief shot of a Kamacuras, are all taken from stock footage from previous films that are either so brief that they're not worth spending time on or are entire sequences that I've already talked about in previous films, meaning that I would be repeating myself. Ironically enough, for a movie that centers around a kid who wants to meet him, Godzilla is a very small factor in this film. A lot of what you see of him is stock footage that's taken from Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster and Son of Godzilla and the way that the monster battles from these scenes are spliced together here makes it look like Godzilla spends his days walking around Monster Island and beating on a bunch of creatures that are stupid enough to pick a fight with him. He's still a bad-ass that you wouldn't want to screw around with, which is good, but all this stock footage doesn't allow for much in the way of character development on his part. In the new footage, which you don't begin seeing until awhile into the movie, Godzilla is shown to be a rather cold and overbearing parent to Minya. He may not have exactly been a warm fuzzy parent to him throughout the majority of Son of Godzilla but some of the stuff he does to him here comes across as just plain mean. In the Japanese version, Minya tells Ichiro that Godzilla doesn't like it if he stays by his side for too long because he needs to learn to take care of himself and to be on his own. Kind of a cruel lesson when you see that Minya doesn't look much older than he was during his first film appearance. And what's more, he's so determined to force the kid to fight for himself that when Minya is trying to run away from Gabara during the last dream sequence, Godzilla pushes him back to face his bully and ultimately knees him to finally get him to do it! I guess I shouldn't be so surprised since he threatened to slap Minya back in Son of Godzilla and you could also call it tough love but I'm still kind of like, "Wow, Godzilla, you're an asshole!" But, like in that film, Godzilla shows that underneath his tough exterior, he really does care about Minya. As he did before, when he's forced to step on Minya's tail in order to get him to shoot an atomic blast, Godzilla does pat him on the head afterward. Even better, when Minya manages to send Gabara flying through the air and landing roughly on his back, Godzilla is very, very proud of him and cuddles and pats him afterward. The good thing about Godzilla's less than likable behavior in this film is that it's not real since this is all taking place in Ichiro's imagination and that this is how he would expect him to be. Of course, that brings up a troubling notion: if the relationship between Godzilla and Minya is meant to be a representation of that between Ichiro and his father, does that mean Ichiro's dad is this cold to him whenever he is around? Ichiro's dad, in the few scenes we have with him, doesn't seem like he would be that way but, then again, as it is between Godzilla and Minya, he doesn't interact with Ichiro all that much due to his job and it's possible that when they are together, he wouldn't know exactly what would be the best way to interact with and teach his son. It's possible that I'm reading too much into this and that this is simply how Ichiro has always imagined Godzilla would be towards Minya but it's still kind of a disturbing idea. What's even more disturbing is how Ichiro dreams that when he finally does meet Godzilla face to face, as he always wanted, his "hero" towers above him in a very menacing way and seems to be reaching for him, scaring Ichiro to the point where he begins crying for Minya to stop him (Minya does nothing, by the way). Again, does he think that Godzilla would actually do this. Given his opinion of humans, he probably wouldn't be too thrilled to find one on his island but I think by this point, he would probably just ignore him and be like, "Whatever," rather than threaten to squash him or whatever it was he was going to do before Ichiro got woken up. Once again, I could be too sentimental but that part has always bugged me since I was a kid and didn't feel like something that Godzilla would really do at this point, at least to me.
I'm convinced that this movie is the reason why so many people hate the character of Minya. People probably weren't too thrilled with him when he first appeared but when they saw this movie where he's able to shrink from his normal size down to the same size as Ichiro and is able to talk(!), I'm sure their reaction was, "Oh, fuck this character!" Even if it is all in the mind of a kid and, in reality, Minya is unable to talk like all of the other monsters or change sizes, it's still a very out there and overly kiddy thing for hardcore Godzilla fans to deal with, which is one of the main reasons why this film is as reviled as it is. Speaking of his talking, Minya's voice sounds very different in the two versions of the film. In the Japanese version, it's done by a female voice actor and, as a result, does sound like a normal kid, although the looped-in sound quality of the voice makes it sound unusual. I've heard some say that they thought it sounded creepy, almost like a pedophile, but I never thought that. I just feel that it was kind of strange. In the American version, though, Minya has a cartoony, dopey-sounding Barney Rubble/Yogi Bear type of voice. Think of the voice that was given to Kobayashi in Gigantis, the Fire Monster, only even more over the top and ridiculous, and you'll have it. It's in that version when Minya is annoying and you wish he would either shut up or that Gabara would beat him to a pulp. As you can tell, in the American version, I dislike Minya about as much as everyone else does. In the Japanese version, when he has the more reasonable voice, I, as I do with Ichiro, rather sympathize with him. In fact, Minya's purpose in this film is to serve as a subconscious representation of Ichiro and when you watch the film, it becomes very obvious. Like Ichiro, Minya is left by himself most of the time while Godzilla does... whatever it is he does on Monster Island and is bullied by a much bigger and stronger monster called Gabara. I feel even more sympathy for Minya in that regard than I do Ichiro because, unlike the real-life Gabara, this monstrous version of the bully is truly a despicable creature, beating the stuffing out of Minya whenever he comes across him. Minya is basically powerless to do anything against Gabara since he's much bigger and stronger and, like all other monsters, is not at all affected by his smoke rings. And as I've said, while Minya would like nothing more than to run away from Gabara, he fears that Godzilla will think he's a coward if he does so and, in fact, is forced by his overbearing and sometimes cruel dad to stand up for himself and take Gabara on. With Ichiro's help, Minya is eventually successful in standing up to Gabara and manages to trounce him, which is something that I wanted to see happen. While I may not like Minya at all in the American version due to his annoying voice there, in the Japanese version, even though I still think it was going too far to give him a voice in the first place, I do sympathize for him like I do Ichiro and I like seeing him finally stand up to and give it to Gabara. Plus, unlike Ichiro, Minya doesn't become a bully himself after standing up to Gabara, although I still wonder why he didn't intervene when Godzilla seemed to be threatening Ichiro right before the kid woke up. 
The one new monster that Godzilla's Revenge introduces is Gabara, this ugly, ogre-like monster who is unique in that he's nothing more than a monstrous representation of Ichiro's own bully of the same name and exists only in his subconscious. Ichiro has quite the imagination if he was able to turn his own, less than intimidating bully into this thing in his mind, don't you think? Either that or he's much more afraid of the real Gabara than he has any right to be. Anybody who thinks that little red shirt-wearing brat is comparable to this monster must be the most easily intimidated person on the planet. In any case, Gabara is by far one of the most bizarre creatures that Toho ever created: very tall and completely upright in stance, with an overall light-blue body covered in bumps, a tan-colored front section that's shaped in a way that makes him look like he has a large six pack, a cat-like face, pointy ears, a little bit of red-orange hair up top, and some small, curved spikes traveling up the back of his neck that end in a long, pointy horn. His roar is just as bizarre as his appearance, sounding like a combination of a cat and a car engine that's having trouble starting (that noise gets so annoying after a while). Whenever he's injured, he makes a loud, squeaking that sounds a little similar to Godzilla's injured noise. He has the ability to generate electrical currents from his horn that travel down through his arms and come out of his hands, shocking anyone or anything that he grabs ahold of. It's more than enough to discourage Minya from trying to fight him and even Godzilla seems to be a little stunned by this power when he experiences it full force at one point. On top of that, Gabara is simply much bigger and stronger than Minya, meaning that the young monster has little chance of taking him head on. It's only through some strategy and help from Ichiro and later, Godzilla himself, that Minya is eventually able to get back at his tormentor and send him limping off into the jungle. As far as his personality goes, Gabara even acts like a typical bully. He just walks around Monster Island, looking for something to beat on, with that something usually being Minya,. When he comes across Minya, he beats the living crap out of the poor kid until he finally decides he's had enough and runs away, leaving Gabara to walk off in satisfaction, very clearly proud of himself. Like most bullies, Gabara is also content with simply intimidating and scaring his victim, as he does towards Minya at one point when the latter is trying to run behind Godzilla for protection, and also likes to play dirty by attacking someone when their guard is down, as he does to Godzilla. And also like most bullies, he can dish it out but when the tables are turned and he himself gets beat on, he slumps away like a big coward. Gabara is played by Hiroshi Sekida in what would prove to be his last suit-acting role. He retired from the profession after Eiji Tsuburaya passed away shortly after the release of this film.
Yes, Eiji Tsuburaya, the legendary father of Japanese special effects, died from heart disease just a month after this film's December of 1969 release at the age of 68. His deteriorating health had prevented him from being directly involved with movies since Latitude Zero but, since he was still the head of Toho's effects department, he was given credits on films made since then out of respect. Godzilla's Revenge was no different. As I said earlier, Ishiro Honda himself directed the few new effects and monster sequences that appear in this film, with the assistance of Teruyoshi Nakano. These effects scenes are certainly passable but, at the same time, there's nothing remarkable about them. It's either three guys in monster suits wrestling around on a plain-looking set that's meant to represent the jungles and fields of Monster Island, Ichiro talking to Minya, or Godzilla teaching Minya to shoot an atomic blast. The monster suits themselves are good for the most part, although I liked the way Minya looked before better. Something about the way his face and head look here, especially in the close-ups when he's talking to Ichiro, doesn't feel right and there's a bit of an Uncanny Valley feeling going on in those talking scenes as well (the voice in the American version only makes this feeling worse). Also, I'm pretty sure that you can see the zipper on Gabara's back in a bunch of shots. Speaking of which, the effects used to show off his electrical powers are pretty good and the same goes for the matting effects of Godzilla's atomic blast and Minya's smoke rings. The matting used for when Godzilla is standing over Ichiro looks rather wonky but, other than that, these new effect scenes do their job. That said, their restrictive and unremarkable nature, coupled with the large amount of stock footage used along with them, make the visuals in this film a huge comedown from the tour de force that was Destroy All Monsters (the only scenes of city destruction that you get here is stock footage from that film over the opening credits). And make no mistake, the death of Tsuburaya would prove to be a huge blow to the Godzilla series, one that, along with tightening budgets, would not only ensure that stock footage and limited original effects scenes would be used in future films but would also cause certain key members of the team to lose their enthusiasm for continuing with the franchise. 
According to Shinichi Sekizawa, since they were going by the Gamera way of doing things, the story of Godzilla's Revenge was constructed around the stock footage that was to be used. Sekizawa said in an interview that Tomoyuki Tanaka had come to him and asked if he could, "Write up a script based on bits and pieces of other films?" On a side note, Sekizawa said that his response to this request was, "Of course, Mr. Tanaka, that's what I do best. I am a good editor!" Needless to say, Sekizawa was losing his zeal for writing these movies by now but that's beside the point. While there had been instances of stock footage being used in previous Godzilla movies, most notably in the big city attack scene in Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, Godzilla's Revenge marks the first time when entire scenes were reused to fill in gaps that couldn't be filled by original material caused by budget constraints (although I almost hesitate to describe it as such since by all accounts, they were actually just following the model that Gamera vs. Viras had put forth). The film even begins with a montage of stock footage over the opening credits and once Ichiro begins dreaming about being on Monster Island, we mainly see clips from Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster and Son of Godzilla, as well as from King Kong Escapes and Destroy All Monsters when we see brief shots of Gorosaurus, Manda, and Anguirus. The use of old material calls attention to itself not only because if you watch the movies in order, you'd know that you've seen this stuff before, as well as because the picture and color quality shifts, but also because the Godzilla suits used for those films are so different from each other. This is especially true when they transition to or from footage from Son of Godzilla. For example, when Ichiro first "arrives" on Monster Island, we see the battle between Godzilla and the Kamacuras from that film, so we're seeing that ugly suit used there, and then, after a little bit of sight-seeing, we cut to that sequence from The Sea Monster where Godzilla fights that giant condor and now, as a result, he looks completely different. It's jarring and distracting, to say the least. Plus, on top of that, the lack of new material gives the movie a feeling of, "been there, done that," that undermines the excitement that you should be getting from it. As a kid, even though I knew that I had seen this stuff before when I would watch movies like this or Godzilla vs. Gigan, I didn't mind it since I was just happy enough to be seeing a Godzilla movie, but now as an adult, I can definitely say that the stock footage causes a lack of excitement and thrills and that a couple of the future movies would suffer from it even more.  |
| In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey! |
Besides moments where it's uncomfortably childish, Godzilla's Revenge is also just plain weird at times. Obviously since it's taking inside of a kid's dreams, we shouldn't expect things to be normal but even so, there are some things here that make me wonder what they were smoking when they filmed this movie. When Ichiro first dreams about going to Monster Island, he imagines that he's on a jet plane full of people but then, after a time lapse cut, everyone on the plane has suddenly disappeared, and when Ichiro heads up to the cockpit, the plane either seems to be flying itself or the pilots are invisible. By the way, this whole sequence is shot with a kaleidoscope type of editing where the actual footage is in the middle of the screen, surrounded by a bunch of bright, rippling, and trippy colors. Anyway, as the plane approaches Monster Island, we get a push-in towards Ichiro's face that's accompanied by weird, pulsing sound effects and an inexplicable switch to negative film that makes me think that I'm going to hear Iron Butterfly at any moment. While things are typically done in a straightforward way once we get on the island, there are still some bizarre moments, like how the first dream ends with everything around Ichiro turning pitch black as a piercing sound that later turns out to be a telephone ringing fills the air and Ichiro cries out for his mom, or how when Ichiro goes back to the island a second time, he runs into the monster Gabara and flees, all the while being chased by a transparent image of Gabara that keeps blinking in and out of existence behind him (in the old VHS of this film, which was horribly cropped, all I could see was a transparent Gabara hand that confused me even more). So, is Gabara really after him there or is he just imagining that he is? Since it's a dream, it could be anything. And that second dream ends with Ichiro being grabbed from behind by a humanoid plant and as we transition back to reality, we see that he's being kidnapped by the bank robbers. Even when we're not in the dreams, we're still treated to some unusual stuff, like a strangely edited fight between Ichiro and the real Gabara at the end of the movie that starts out in a, "start, stop" manner and then becomes a series of still images, as well as some head-tilting music and sound effects throughout (I'll have plenty to say about the music we first get in the Japanese version when I talk about it). While the stuff in Godzilla's Revenge isn't nearly as bizarre as what we'll see in the next film, Godzilla vs. Hedorah, and it also has more of a context than that film due to the dream setting (although, I'll tell you right now, I like Hedorah a lot more than this), it still gets pretty strange at points and makes you wonder what you're watching. 
This is going to be a fairly short action section because there's so little new footage and also because it's quite a while into the film before we even get our first extended look at some new monster action. Like I said, when Ichiro first dreams about Monster Island, we see the footage of Godzilla fighting the Kamacuras from Son of Godzilla, followed by some brief shots of Gorosaurus, Manda, and Anguirus taken from King Kong Escapes and Destroy All Monsters respectively and the bit from Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster where Godzilla gets attacked by and ultimately fries that giant condor. After that, Ichiro is chased by one of the Kamacuras (again, actual shots of the monster are taken from Son of Godzilla) until he ends up falling down a very deep hole, hitting the bottom quite softly for such a long drop (but, again, it's a dream, so whatever). After the Kamacuras looks down the hole and crawls off upon not seeing him, Ichiro tries to climb up the steep walls but slips and slowly slides back down. Suddenly, a long vine descends down from the hole and once Ichiro grabs ahold of it, he tugs on it to inform whoever sent it down that they can pull him up. When Ichiro is pulled up to the top, he sees that his savior is Minya. After talking with the young monster for a little bit and telling him why he's come to Monster Island, we get our first look at the monster Gabara, with his appearance prompting Ichiro and Minya to take cover. While hiding from the monster, Minya tells Ichiro that he can't fight him because of how strong he is, and after Gabara walks away, we get that weird conclusion to this first dream where everything suddenly goes pitch black around Ichiro, who's left alone after Minya just slumps away, and he yells as we gradually realize that the high-pitched sound we're hearing is a telephone.
Much later, after he's wandered around that old abandoned building, got the attention of the two bank robbers by unknowingly picked up Okuda's license, and had dinner with Shinpei, Ichiro falls back asleep and finds himself back on Monster Island. He looks around for Minya but runs into Gabara instead, leading into that bizarre sequence where I'm not sure if Gabara is actually chasing him or if Ichiro just thinks that he is. Whatever the case, he eventually runs out of the jungle and finds Minya sitting on a rock, munching on some fruit. They talk a little bit, with Ichiro saying that he wants to meet Godzilla and Minya saying that Godzilla wants him to fight for and take care of himself. They then hear Godzilla roar nearby and they head out to see what's going on. This is when we see a combination of Godzilla's two fights with Ebirah in The Sea Monster while Minya cheers him on (notice how in the shots with Ichiro and Minya, it's bright and sunny, clashing completely against the stormy nighttime setting of the scene they're supposedly watching). Save for those insert shots of Ichiro and Minya watching the fight, including a shot that makes it look like the rock that Godzilla and Ebirah were hitting back and forth landed in the jungle, the first part of the scene plays out virtually the same way it did in The Sea Monster. Once Ebirah drags Godzilla under the water, it cuts to the second battle they had near the end of that movie, leading up to when the two of the surface again and Godzilla tears off Ebirah's pincers, although we only see him do so to the first one this time. After Ebirah retreats, we cut back to the footage from the first battle in The Sea Monster in order to show Godzilla turning around and heading back for shore (once again, the time of day changes in-between shots). Ichiro and Minya then follow Godzilla as he heads into the interior of the island, as we now cut to footage from Son of Godzilla as Godzilla is apparently ambushed by Kumonga, the giant spider. We don't see the entirety of this fight since they had to cut out Minya's involvement from the source film, as well as not show the snowstorm that the battle concludes in. We do, however, get a new moment where Minya shoots a smoke ring at Kumonga, which does absolutely nothing, followed by the spider shooting his webbing at him, forcing both Minya and Ichiro to retreat into the jungle. Due to the circumstances of the source material, they edit together a new ending to this battle by showing Godzilla hitting Kumonga with his atomic blast, a shot of him flipping over on his back, and a final reaction shot of Godzilla roaring in victory. 
We get our first new monster battle when Gabara suddenly shows up and Minya, after some hesitation, decides to battle his bully to prove to Godzilla that he's not a coward. He runs out to face Gabara and then demonstrates his ability to change size, ballooning up to his normal height. He then shoots a smoke ring at Gabara's face but all that does is annoy him. He tries two more smoke rings but those do nothing either and Gabara almost seems to be laughing at Minya's inability to hurt him. Minya then charges at Gabara but Gabara hits him and sends him falling backwards onto the ground. Minya gets up and tries for another charge but this time Gabara grabs him by the back of his left arm and shoves him, sending him falling flat on his face. Laughing, Gabara comes in for another attack as Minya attempts to grapple with him but ends up getting grabbed and slammed up and down, back and forth, before being kicked and rolling back into the jungle. Shrinking back down to Ichiro's size, Minya decides to retreat, leaving Gabara to stomp off in satisfaction. After getting their composure back after that disastrous fight, Ichiro and Minya see a squadron of fighter jets streak across the sky. Godzilla notices them too and we then get into the battle sequence between him and the Red Bamboo air force from The Sea Monster (by the way, in the context of this movie, what he was doing during that whole time when Minya was getting beat up by Gabara?) Like the stuff with Ebirah, we basically get this scene in its entirety, with the only missing material being that which involved the human characters from that movie. Once Godzilla destroys all of the jets, we finally get into our first original footage of him here (42 minutes in!) as he notices Minya and sits down, motioning for his son to come over. Minya is at first reluctant to do so but decides that it's probably best not to argue and heads towards his dad, returning to his normal size in the process. We then get a recreation of the scene from Son of Godzilla where Godzilla teaches his son how to shoot an atomic blast. It covers all the basics of that scene: Godzilla demonstrates first, motions for Minya try it, Minya is only able to shoot smoke rings, Godzilla has to give Minya a helping hand by stomping on his tail, which enables him to do it right, and he pats his son on the head and gives him some affection afterward. On a side note, I like the shot of Ichiro watching and trying not to laugh when Minya is unable to get it. After the lesson is over, Ichiro is grabbed from behind by what appears to be a humanoid plant and as he struggles, he wakes up to realize that he's being kidnapped by the two bank robbers. 
While Senbayashi is waiting with Ichiro at the abandoned building for Okuda to come back with the getaway car, Ichiro falls asleep again and as his third and final dream begins, we see that Minya is getting his ass handed to him by Gabara. Minya gets sent rolling around the ground and up against a rock wall by Gabara and as he's sitting there cornered and frightened, he shoots a smoke ring at Gabara's face which, like before, does nothing. Minya desperately tries to fight Gabara by swiping at him but he gets shoved away and then gets a nasty electrical shock throughout his body when Gabara puts his hand on his head and activates his power. While holding him in place, Gabara then delivers a punch right to Minya's face, sending him falling face-forward. Ichiro, who's watching the fight from a nearby ledge, yells for Minya to get up but the young monster is too stunned and scared to do so. As Gabara looms over Minya, Ichiro decides to give him some help by pushing a boulder off the cliff and right onto Minya's tail. After that, Minya quickly swings around and fires a full-blown atomic blast, hitting Gabara in the face. Gabara clearly didn't see that coming and frantically wipes at his steaming face in pain. Now madder than a hornet, Gabara stomps towards Minya and attempts to grab him but Minya uses his small size to avoid the larger monster and manages to run towards a clearing, albeit with Gabara hot on his heels. Gabara tries to grab Minya a couple of more times here but, again, is unable to due to his foe's small size. Godzilla then arrives on the scene (rubbing his eyes as if the commotion woke him up from a nap) and Minya immediately runs to him for safety. However, Godzilla refuses to let his son run away from an opponent like a coward and forces him to face Gabara, going so far as to knee him in the gut in order to make him do so (parent of the year, for sure). Minya then does face his bully as Godzilla watches on, running towards Gabara and slamming into his chest, although that seems to hurt Minya himself. He also gets shoved down to the right when he tries to attack Gabara again and then over to the left when he gets back up. Getting up from that second shove, Minya tries to charge Gabara yet again but then, Gabara grabs him by the shoulders and sends electricity surging through his body again. Fortunately, Godzilla sees that Minya does need some help and so, blasts the ground near Gabara's feet, causing the monster to jump in surprise and release Minya in the process. Angry at Godzilla's interference, Gabara attempts to intimidate him, giving Minya the opportunity to slip in and bite his left arm. Gabara doesn't take too kindly to that and flings Minya off of him, back onto the ground. Minya quickly gets to his feet and runs away. Gabara, like any bully, decides not to tangle with the equal opponent that is Godzilla, and goes after Minya instead. 
As Minya runs away, Ichiro gets his attention and tells him that he has an idea about how to beat Gabara. Minya quickly shrinks back down to Ichiro's size and joins him up on the slope. Ichiro points out a fallen tree that, by falling onto a large rock, has become a makeshift seesaw. He tells Minya to wait until Gabara steps on the end that's down and then jump on the other himself. Minya is at first hesitant to do so but Ichiro manages to persuade him to do it. Gabara approaches and, upon seeing Minya, does exactly what Ichiro said he would do and steps onto one side of the log. Minya then jumps down, growing back to his normal size in the process, and hits the other end, sending Gabara flying through the air until he lands face first in a nearby clearing, right in front of Godzilla. Dazed and not exactly sure what just happened, Gabara rolls over onto his back. Excited that he managed to trounce his bully, Minya rushes over to join his dad, who is quite proud of his son and, after giving Gabara a small kick to the legs, walks over and cuddles and pats Minya on the head. However, Gabara takes the opportunity to bite Godzilla right on the thigh! He gets a couple of punches to the face for that and when he gets back up and charges at Godzilla, the Big G grabs him and slams him to the ground before stomping the crap out of his chest. Gabara squeals in pain and grabs Godzilla's foot, actually managing to flip him over, and gets back up and charges against Godzilla head first again, trying to gorge him with his horn. He gets slammed back on the ground for that. Minya actually tries to attack Gabara himself right then but Godzilla pushes him back, as if he's saying, "This is between me and him." Gabara gets flipped back onto the ground again but, this time, he charges up his electrical surge before getting back up. After struggling with Godzilla a little bit, Gabara grabs him on the sides and shocks him, with the electricity actually being powerful enough to momentarily stun Godzilla. However, Godzilla manages to break free, grab Gabara's arm, and throw him over his shoulder, causing him to land right on his head when he lands. Gabara gets to his feet and it seems like he's going to attack again but eventually decides that he's had enough and limps away into the jungle, as Godzilla and Minya look on. Ichiro taunts Gabara as he slumps away, actually calling him, "Gabara the Cripple," in the Japanese version, which actually made me go, "Damn, that's harsh!" This is the dream that ends with Godzilla standing over Ichiro in a threatening manner and as Ichiro yells for help, he's woken up by Senbayashi. 
The last major sequence in the film is a Home Alone-type cat and mouse piece where Ichiro outwits and escapes from the two bank robbers, eventually getting them sent to jail. While the criminals try to figure out what's wrong with their getaway car's engine, Ichiro, remembering what Minya said about standing up for yourself, manages to get his hands free from the handkerchief their bound with and takes the gag off of his mouth. He gets out of the backseat of the car but the two crooks try to cut him off. Senbayashi grabs Ichiro but the kid bites his wrist, forcing him to let go. Ichiro ducks back inside the abandoned building while the two crooks try to run after him but end up falling backwards on top of each other. What follows is a long, drawn out bit where the crooks search the building for Ichiro, do some slapsticky stuff like run into stacked crates and bang their heads on things, and Okuda ends up falling through the large hole in one floor (he couldn't see it due to some newspapers Ichiro had covered it with earlier), and hurts his leg. Also during this bit, Shinpei has discovered his car near the building and has called the police. Senbayashi finds Okuda after he's hurt his leg and, upon seeing Ichiro running for the entrance, takes off after him. He almost catches Ichiro when the kid falls while running but Senbayashi himself slips and falls on a cardboard box, ending up with one on his head. After getting it off, Senbayashi dodges some bottles that Ichiro throws at him and then, deciding that he doesn't care about using the kid as insurance anymore, draws his knife on him. As he closes in on him, Ichiro blasts him with a fire extinguisher and manages to fend him off with it enough to enable him to run for the door when the thing runs out of foam. Right then, the police arrive outside where the car is and they're just in time to save Ichiro when he comes running out of the building with the foam-covered, knife-wielding Senbayashi right behind him. Ichiro is saved and the two criminals are quickly arrested and taken away. That's pretty much it for any action in the film. I could talk about the fight that Ichiro has with the real Gabara the following day but it's really short, just consists of a lot of struggling, and the herky-jerky editing makes a detailed description virtually impossible. This is the only Ishiro Honda-directed Godzilla movie to not feature a music score by Akira Ifukube. Instead, Honda went with a composer named Kunio Miyauchi, whom he had worked with in the past on The Human Vapor (I don't remember that film's score at all). Miyauchi doesn't have many credits on his IMDB page. He mainly worked on television shows like Ultra Q and Ultraman (he was involved with seemingly every incarnation of the latter up until he did his last score in 1979), with only several unrelated movie scores to his name. Moreover, this was the only Godzilla movie he did the score for (although according to IMDB, some music of his is featured in the soundtrack for Godzilla vs. Gigan) and, upon listening to it, it's not hard to figure out why. I guess I shouldn't fault it for fitting with the childish tone of the film but at the same time, it's not the kind of music I want to hear in a Godzilla movie. The most constant piece of music, which is used for the battle scenes, has a jazzy sound to it which could be okay if it weren't for the kiddish xylophone-type of bit you hear in the middle of it, reminding you that this is a kid's movie, as well as some parts that almost sound like it's being played in reverse. There's also some low, horn music that I think is trying to sound like Ifukube's familiar Godzilla theme but ends up coming across like what it is: a low grade copy of some much better music. There's some overly sappy-sounding, "child-like" music that plays whenever Ichiro is wandering the streets, looking for somewhere to play or something to play with, as well as when he dreams about taking a plane to Monster Island, and there's a corny, marching drum beat that plays after Ichiro wins the fight against the real Gabara at the end of the movie and walks away feeling empowered. The only piece of music that I think really works is the monster Gabara's theme, which is very loud and threatening, making the monster come across as more of a menace than he really is. There's an abundance of weird sounds throughout the film as well, like a pulsing sound that grows in pitch when Ichiro falls asleep and begins dreaming again, some soft, reverberating noises when Ichiro is stuck in the hall and notices that vine coming down towards him, and an unnecessary whirling sound effect when Gabara is sent flying through the air, among others. But no part of this film's soundtrack is worse than the first thing you hear when the Japanese version starts, which is this horrible song called March of the Monsters that sounds like nothing more than a kid screeching and yelling in such a shrill, harsh way that you expect his or her (I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl) vocal cords to blow out any second as a result. I can't do justice to how horrible it is in writing. Just listen to it for yourself and you'll see what I mean. Whoo!
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| That's an appropriate movie to pair Godzilla's Revenge up with, don't you think? |
No matter if you call it Godzilla's Revenge or All Monsters Attack, the truth is still that this is one of the most hated entries in the entire franchise, with many referring to it as the worst one period. While there are some that I think are just as bad as this one, meaning that I can't call it the absolute worst, I still don't really care for it. It may have been geared specifically for children but that doesn't negate the fact that its overly childish and goofy tone does not at all appeal to me. While the acting (in the Japanese version) isn't bad and you can find some interesting subtext concerning the social conditions and situations in Japan at the time, the lack of original monster footage undercuts the action, what new footage there is comes across as severely limited by the budget, the dream sequences lack any suspense since we know that they are just dreams, some of the weird editing and sound choices are distracting, the film is quite boring even though it's only 69 minutes long, and the music and sound effects, especially in the Japanese version, range from being tolerable to being excruciatingly annoying. And, even worse, the American version isn't much better with its crappy, muted dubbing, so choosing which version of the film to watch if you absolutely have to see every single Godzilla movie is quite a dilemma. To sum it up, Godzilla's Revenge is definitely one of the weakest entries, despite the good points that I can find. If you're one of those who sincerely enjoys and defends it, power to you, and if you're wanting to see it for the first time... be my guest but you better know what you're getting into because if not, you'll come out of it even madder than you probably would regardless.
Without a doubt the #1 worst Godzilla movie ever made considering that it's got a very cartoony and childish tone to it! Add to the fact that most of the fight scenes are stock footage from the previous movies (i.e. Godzilla vs the sea monster, Son of Godzilla) makes this movie even more unwatchable!
ReplyDeleteThis movie's without a doubt the #1 worst movie of the entire Godzilla series considering that it's too childish and goofy even by kid's movie standards! Add to the fact that it's got too much stock footage and Minya talking in a goofy-sounding voice makes this movie an abomination to watch!
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