Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Stuff I Grew Up With: Cartoon Planet (1995-1997)

This thing started out fairly straightforward but was turned into something even stranger than Space Ghost, Coast to Coast. It first appeared on TBS as an hour long block of cartoons hosted by Space Ghost, Zorak, and Brak. I'm pretty sure it did the same when it moved to Cartoon Network but after a while, they dispensed with the cartoons, repackaged the show with all the in-between segments featuring the characters, and turned it into an odd variety show. Yeah, it's a weird part of Cartoon Network's history. As I said, I think it's even stranger than Space Ghost, Coast to Coast. I think the reason for that is because its humor was a toned down version of the humor on the latter show. Whereas that show could get away with a lot of stuff because it was on late at night, Cartoon Planet had to be careful with its content, which resulted in some pretty weird stuff.

Segments on the show that one could expect were Brak's School Daze, where he would tell of naughty things he did during school; Zorak's Nuggets of Joy, which, needless to say, weren't so joyful coming from him; Poet's Corner, featuring one of the three characters either making up a weird version of a well known poem or coming up with one; the Cartoon Planet Storybook, which featured bizarre stories read usually by either Space Ghost or Brak; Zorak's Helpful Hints, where people would actually call in to ask Zorak for advice (his advice, obviously, was quite shocking sometimes); Zorak's Horror Scopes, where he would give advice to people with various astrological signs; Vacation Spots Around the Universe and Messages from Outer Space, both of which were created from Ultra 7 footage; messages from Count Floyd, which showed excerpts from that local horror host show that you would often see on Ed Grimley; and Learning to Talk Italian, which should be obvious from the title. (I've heard that there were other segments like Cooking with Brak and Brak's Monday Ratings Report but I honestly don't remember these.) Besides those, there would musical segments where one or all of the characters would sing and random segments featuring bizarre banter between them.

I'm not going to pretend that this show was high quality entertainment. In fact, a lot of it was pretty stupid but I'm thinking that was the point. There were a lot of random clips of cartoons, movies, and TV shows interspersed here and there, some of which really made no sense. Some of the strangest ones featured Andy Merrill, the voice of Brak, running around in a Space Ghost costume. Sometimes he would dance, other times he would fall asleep in a chair, and other times he would just act like a moron. A lot of the segments were just plain dumb as well. Some episodes of the various segments weren't even that funny, making you scratch your head and think, "What?" Some segments of Messages from Outer Space featured the Hotdog Men, weird silhouetted puppets with annoying voices that would just show up randomly. Another one was when Space Ghost, for no reason I can discern, started talking in a voice that sounded like he sucked too much helium when responding to a letter. From my childhood to this day, I just look at that moment and think, "What in the hell?"

Cartoon Planet is most notable as the first show to heavily feature the modern, idiotic version of Brak. As I said before, Brak was a villain on the original Space Ghost cartoon but somewhere along the way, he had an accident that reduced him to a moron. As one of the co-hosts of this show, he's actually pretty entertaining. He's not really a villain anymore and even though he's clearly messed up, often makes sense! Several times, he cleverly pointed the finger at the low production values of the animation. When Space Ghost blasts Zorak instead of him and Zorak asks why he didn't blast Brak since he started the argument, Brak said he wants to but he's not animated to explode. It happened again when Space Ghost old everyone to go to their rooms but Brak said he wasn't animated to do that either. Some of the segments of Brak's School Daze were pretty funny, (usually ending with Brak being sent to the principal's office and getting a spanking), and the segments with Brak singing were also entertaining; I Love You, Baby, Beans, Don't Touch Me, and his raps were quite well done. However, there were some segments where Brak acted as a stand-up comedian but those segments were undoubtedly the weakest. Brak's screwing up jokes could have been funny but it comes across as just padding. And Brak would sing the ending song of the show, which was a random hodgepodge to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies ending song.

The segment I always looked forward to was Mail Bag Day, where the characters would read actual letters from viewers. One that broke me up was when one letter dared Zorak to kiss Brak on the lips! Zorak's reaction was funny as hell. Brak once received a letter that was random and apparently written by a messed up person. Brak actually said something along the lines of, "He's got more problems than me!" Two I really liked that Space Ghost read were one that was so poorly written he couldn't read it and one where the writer called him a "rad dude" but he thought it said "mad dude", got offended, and went on a rant until Zorak corrected him. One that was random was someone complimenting the show and the characters, but then suddenly saying, "Shut Up!" There was no reaction to it by the characters but I always felt that it was proof that some fans of the show were a little odd.

Zorak was cool as always on this show. He clearly couldn't stand being stuck on another show with Space Ghost. One good segment started with an argument between him and Space Ghost, which led to Brak getting dragged into it but he was so stupid he couldn't argue well. Space Ghost said that they were acting as grouchy as they do on that "other" show they do, when Moltar suddenly shows up! Moltar got confused and thought this was Space Ghost, Coast to Coast. I wish he'd been on the show because it would have been even cooler to have all four of them on at the same time. I remember one where all three characters were discussing whether Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees had ever appeared in a movie together, a segment where Space Ghost tried to imitate Zorak's cool blinking noise, times where Zorak would listen in on Space Ghost talking in his sleep, and one where Zorak was pointing out zits that kept appearing on Space Ghost's face. Zorak's songs were pretty good as well. Bad Bug was an awesome send-up of Bad Boys, with Zorak describing how evil he is. Ordinary Day on Cartoon Planet was a funny one where all three of them sing about random stuff like meteors falling, people getting abducted, and other things which are ordinary on the planet. (To clips of random cartoons and Ultra 7.) Don't Send In the Clowns was one where Zorak sang about being taken to the circus by his mom and how much he hated the clown acts.

This post is going to end here and not be as long as most of my others because there really isn't that much more to say. Cartoon Planet was just an odd show that faded into obscurity and is only remembered by those who watched Cartoon Network often in the 90's. Unlike Space Ghost, Coast to Coast, there's no DVD release of it and clips of it are extremely hard to find, which made refreshing my memory for this review difficult. Throughout the 2000's, it often appeared as filler on Adult Swim very early in the morning so hardly anyone saw it. Space Ghost, Coast to Coast will always have fans and be readily available but for now, Cartoon Planet is pretty much forgotten.

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