After it was such a huge hit, you would have expected to see a
Zombieland sequel within just a couple of years but, while there was definitely talk, time passed and, save for an obscure pilot for a television show that featured a completely different cast and was never picked up, it seemed like it would stay as a one-and-done concept. And then suddenly, a full ten years after the first movie, a sequel was finally released, one that managed to bring back the core cast and creative team. At the time, though, I didn't pay it much mind, since I hadn't yet grown to like the first film, and save for one TV spot, I didn't see or hear anything else about its release, so I didn't know how fans felt it stacked up against the first. The first time I saw it was after I decided to make this October's theme horror comedies, feeling that, since I knew from the outset that I was going to review the first
Zombieland, I may as well do the sequel, too. I watched it for the first time on Hulu at the very beginning of 2021 and, as I said in my introduction of my review of the first one, I was shocked at how much I enjoyed it, especially since I'd just re-watched the first one and still wasn't sure about it at the time. I don't know if it was because, since the setup of the original was done, we were able to just jump right in or because I found it genuinely funnier and more impressive but, regardless, I came out of it thinking, "That was pretty fun." In fact, if you'd asked me at the time, I might have said that I thought
Double Tap was the better movie. But, after having now thoroughly dove into the first
Zombieland and grown to genuinely like it, I can say that
Double Tap, although very close, is maybe a notch or two below it. It still has everything that people loved about the first one, such as the cast, the stylish direction, the humor, and the heart, but it's not quite as effective, as the way some of the characters are portrayed feel like they've taken a step backwards from the growth they went through and the humor sometimes gets far more cartoonish than it was originally. Also, while it's not as big of an issue as it could be, it tends to redo some of the first's more memorable scenes, lines, and even story beats, making you wish they could have put some more originality into the script. But, that said, the original stuff they do have here does work in its own right, so it balances out nicely.
In the years since an out-of-control virus turned the United States into a wasteland populated by ravenous, flesh-eating zombies, Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock have stuck together as a group and have now set up home in the White House. Things go great at first, but problems arise when Little Rock begins to tire of Tallahassee treating her like a little girl and wishes to be with people her own age, as well as when, despite how their relationship has blossomed over time, Wichita's attachment and trust issues arise when Columbus proposes marriage with the Hope Diamond. Like before, the girls abandon the boys the next day, leaving Columbus depressed for an entire month. While he and Tallahassee are exploring an abandoned mall and clearing out the zombies, he meets Madison, a cute and sweet but very ditzy blonde who's survived the outbreak by staying in a Pinkberry freezer. Although she greatly annoys Tallahassee, Columbus invites her back to the White House and the two of them end up sleeping together. That's when Wichita shows back up without Little Rock, who's run off with a hippie-like pacifist from Berkeley, and also tells Columbus and Tallahassee of rumblings about a new and more dangerous breed of zombie. Scared for her safety, they decide to go after her, though Tallahassee makes it clear that, when they do, he's going off by himself, as he feels he's become soft by being tied down. Also, much to Wichita and Tallahassee's annoyance, Madison comes along for the ride, causing a lot of conflict between the former and Columbus. At one point, when they stop to try to trade in the minivan their driving for a tour bus, they get attacked by zombies and meet one of this new zombies, which Columbus dubs a "T-800" after he proves to be much stronger and harder to put down. Afterward, Madison, who was seemingly bitten on the leg, appears to turn into a zombie, forcing Columbus to pursue her into the woods and put her down. Knowing that Little Rock was going to Graceland since she and Tallahassee often talked about going there together, the group heads there but finds the place in ruins. The same can't be said for the nearby "Hound Dog Hotel," which is also based around Elvis and run by a woman who goes by the name of Nevada. They learn that Little Rock and Berkeley were there earlier but have taken off to Babylon, a fortified spot meant to be a safe haven. Now, the group must travel on and hope for Little Rock's sake that the place is as safe as it's said to be.
Along with the main cast and writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, any fan of the first film would have hoped that director Ruben Fleischer would have returned and, of course, he did, and brought much of the same style and sophistication he did the first time around. What's interesting is how, in the years since Zombieland, he worked with the members of the cast in other movies: he directed Jesse Eisenberg again in 30 Minutes or Less, Emma Stone in Gangster Squad, and, most notably, Woody Harrelson appeared briefly in Venom, in a mid-credits scene not unlike Bill Murray's appearance here. At this point, Fleischer's next film is Uncharted, an adaptation of the popular video game series, starring Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, and Antonio Banderas, among others, but he's said he thinks it would great tradition to make a new Zombieland every ten years (hopefully they won't take that route).
What's great about this movie is not only the chance of getting to see the main cast of characters again but also catching up with them and seeing how far they've come since they were first introduced (most of them, anyway). For instance, here Jesse Eisenberg plays Columbus less like the paranoid dweeb he was before but as a now more seasoned veteran of Zombieland who's become quite adept at offing the undead and isn't as scared of them as he was before (though, he still has his fear of clowns). And while he can still be rather geeky, has his list of rules for survival, which he's added onto extensively, and is again our ever helpful narrator (his narration is much meta this time, which I'll get into later) , he has more of a spine and is now in a relationship with Wichita. Unfortunately, said relationship hits a big bump in the road when, trying to spice up their life after they fall into a rut while living in the White House, he proposes marriage, causing her and Little Rock to take off the next day. Like before when she abandoned him, this leaves him quite shattered and he mopes around for a month, aggravating Tallahassee. When the two of them go to a nearby mall to look for stuff and to blow off some steam by killing zombies, Columbus meets the pretty but
very airheaded Madison, who takes an immediate interest in him. Despite Tallahassee's objections towards her, and also because of his loneliness, especially when Tallahassee tells him he's setting off by himself come sunup, he invites Madison back to the White House. Much to his surprise, she comes onto him, and while he's still hurting over Wichita, when she says she's horny enough to have a go at Tallahassee if he turns her down, he goes through with it. That very night, Wichita shows back up and tells them that Little Rock left her and went off with some guy from Berkeley they picked up. Since he's no longer the guy who felt one of the major ways to survive in Zombieland is not to be a hero, Columbus opts to go look for her, as does Tallahassee. It also looks as if him and Wichita are going to patch things up, when Madison shows up and Wichita learns immediately that he slept with her, leading to a lot of animosity between them during the trip.
During the trip, which he invites Madison on since he doesn't want to leave her alone, Columbus proves how adept he's become at killing zombies when a bunch of them attack them when they're trying to commandeer an abandoned tour bus, although he still comes close to getting killed at one point. He also lets Wichita know that he feels Madison isn't as cruel as she can be, mentioning how she didn't rob him and take his ride when they first met and brings up how she just left him, again, with nothing
but a really crappy note. But, despite what he says, it's obvious that Columbus does start to get sick of Madison's incessant and mindless babbling, and when it looks as though she's about to become a zombie, he, despite wishing there was some other recourse, takes it upon himself to shoot her in the woods... or, at least, that's what you think happens. Later, Madison shows back up, revealing she was actually suffering from a nut allergy and Columbus shot over her head to scare her off. Even worse, that happens just as, again, he and Wichita are
about to make up. Also along the way, Columbus discovers that he and Elvis had the same shoe size when he's able to wear the King's actual shoes; that he invented a new term, "Murraying," which is become code for accidentally killing someone mistaken for a zombie; and that there are counterparts to both him and Tallahassee out there. Unlike the latter, Columbus gets along well with his doppelganger, Flagstaff, as they both have lists of rules, or commandments, for surviving in Zombieland. But, Flagstaff becomes a zombie, along with his partner, Albuquerque, and he and Tallahassee have to fight them and kill them. When the group reaches Babylon, the supposed zombie safe haven, Columbus mentions in his narration that, among other things, he was hoping they might have found their permanent home there. They do find Little Rock but then, an approaching horde of "T-800" zombies puts their potential home into jeopardy. Like before, Columbus decides to stand and fight, saying there's no sense in having a home if you can't stay there, and they manage to rally the hippies who run the place into helping them. When it's all over, Columbus is surprised when Wichita accepts his proposal and the movie ends with the two of them now wed and the group heading off together to wherever the journey takes them, having learned that home is with each other.
Like in the first movie, Woody Harrelson is one of the highlights of the film as Tallahassee, this time playing him as much less standoffish and a bit more comical. As was happening by the end of the first film, Tallahassee has grown into something of a father figure for Little Rock, although by this point, she's starting to find him overbearing and unable to accept that she's not a little girl anymore. Indeed, he's not the most understanding when she talks about wanting to go out and find a boyfriend or form her own family, and she's also not too thrilled when he gives her yet another gun as a Christmas present, even if it is Elvis' gun. Speaking of which, that's Tallahassee's new obsession here: being a big admirer of Elvis, he's always wanted to go to Graceland and now wants to go with Little Rock. Unfortunately, not only do she and Wichita leave but, when Wichita later returns, Tallahassee learns she's gone off with a guitar-strumming pacifist from Berkeley, all three points of which enrage him. As he explains, "You know, I really... I have nothing against pacifists. I just... wanna beat the shit out of them." Because he's just as worried about her as the others, he decides they're going to go find her but, once they do, he says he's hitting the road by himself, a decision he's recently come to, as he feels Columbus' plan of finding a permanent home has made him soft. He further claims to be partly Blackfoot Indian and that he's hearing "the call of the buffalo." While he still has his badass moments and is just as adept at killing zombies as he ever was, not only is Tallahassee more comical here but he has many more instances of being a butt-monkey. His hatred for minivans that was hinted at in the first movie becomes a full-on running gag when he and the others are forced, time and again, to go back to riding in the minivan Wichita returned to the White House in. They find the tour bus, only for Tallahassee to drive over a hidden spike strip, and he even opts to take an abandoned ice cream truck, though Columbus refuses because of the clown painted on its side. They find his beloved, modified presidential limousine, the Beast, only for it to be driven over by a monster truck that Tallahassee finds himself unable to get the feel for later. And when they reach Babylon, he blows the minivan up with a couple of grenades, only to get another kick in the nuts when he's not allowed inside the place without his weapons.
Like before, Tallahassee has a great camaraderie with Columbus and the two of them now feel even more like friends, despite Tallahassee's jabbing at him. Also, while he's not at all fond of Madison, as her constantly calling him an old man and inability to remember his name annoys him to no end, when she appears to be zombifying and Columbus is forced to take matters into his own hands and shoot her, he obviously feels for him, as he pats his shoulder when he comes back and says she
didn't deserve to go out like that. Of course, that goes down the toilet when they later learn Madison isn't a zombie and Columbus didn't shoot her, but it again shows that Tallahassee is really a decent guy. He also gets lucky, as when they get to the Hound Dog Hotel, he meets the sexy, pistol-packing Nevada. Granted, their first meeting involves her slamming a piano cover on his fingers, pushing him to the floor, and putting a gun in his face, but when she learns the group isn't a
threat, they bond over their mutual love for Elvis, with Tallahassee doing his rendition of Hound Dog and, after they have a nice night together, he stands over her in a full Elvis getup, doing an impression. Though he's still determined to go off on his own, they part on good terms and she lets him know he's welcome back any time. When they get to Babylon and find Little Rock safe, Tallahassee says his goodbyes and drives off alone, only to see a huge swarm of T-800 zombies heading right for them. With that, he whips his truck in reverse and
speeds back there, getting his friends together and organizing a plan that involves them and the hippies working together. Though it almost ends disastrously for them during the initial confrontation, with some unexpected help from Nevada when she shows up, they're able to persevere, and Tallahassee leads the remaining zombies up the tower, causing them to stampede off the roof. He almost falls with them when two zombies latch onto his feet as he dangles from a crane's hook, and Columbus accidentally hits him in the balls with a hacky sack while trying to help, but he survives and officially hooks up with Nevada, who joins the main four when they drive off together.
The character I feel has taken something of a step backwards is Wichita. Emma Stone still plays her really well and, when it comes to facing off against zombies and putting them down, she's as tough as ever, but what I don't like is how, like in the first movie, she abandons Columbus
again. It's crazy to me how the two of them have been an item for so long and then, when he proposes marriage, her trust and attachment issues suddenly flare back up and she runs off, leaving him nothing but a pathetic note. After all they've been through together and how he put himself in serious danger to help her and Little Rock during the climax of the first movie, she still feels she can't trust him enough not to leave her if they do get married? If that's the case, she and Little Rock might as well have actually taken off without the guys at the end of the first movie, as they pretended they were going to. Granted, she comes back, albeit under the guise of coming for weapons and to get their help in finding Little Rock, which she later admits to, and does also say that she overreacted... only to then learn that Columbus met and did the horizontal mambo with Madison. She does have a right to be upset there, but she acts like Columbus immediately bedded Madison after she left, when an entire month passed with him moping around and feeling like crap because of her. And some of the stuff she later says about not wanting to be tied down to "something immobile" and suggesting she and Columbus happened because neither of them had many choices to pick from come off as low-blows, even if she says it to cover up how she really feels. But, despite her disdain for Madison, Wichita does feel bad for Columbus when he apparently had to kill her, and she still does what she can to save her friends and Little Rock whenever they're in danger. And in the end, she finally accepts Columbus' proposal, saying they're meant to be together, Zombieland or not, but still, that crap at the beginning rubs me the wrong way.
But what's even worse is how Little Rock, again, is the main character who gets the short end of the stick. There's a reason why, in the opening credits, Abigail Breslin's name appears after the title while everyone else's comes up before, as after the first act, she has barely any screentime until the climax. It especially sucks in that you think she's going to have a major role in the plot, as she talks about how she wants to go out, find someone special, and have her own family, and ultimately leaves with Wichita because she finds Tallahassee overbearing and hates how he keeps treating her like a little girl. But, not long after they leave, they pick up the hippie-like Berkeley and Little Rock becomes totally taken with him, deciding she wants to visit Graceland with him. Wichita puts her foot down and tells her no, so she and Berkeley go off without her, and then, while we occasionally check back in on her to see her smoking weed with Berkeley, marveling at his "songwriting," and ultimately ending up at Babylon with him, she's little more than a MacGuffin for the other characters. When they do catch up with her in the third act, she's become a full-fledged inhabitant of Babylon and even tries to dissuade them from staying, although everyone does, save for Tallahassee. She has a heartfelt goodbye with him, which doesn't last long when he comes back to warn them of the zombies coming their way, and when Berkeley acts like he has a plan but then says he was just joking, that he's just a songwriter, Little Rock calls him out on how he actually transcribes songs. She also breaks up with him, citing how, among other things, anybody should know who Bob Dylan is (considering that she didn't know who Bill Murray, Willie Nelson, or Gandhi were in the first film, she's come a long way). But, she doesn't do anything major during the climax until at the very end, when she uses the gun Tallahassee gave her as a Christmas present to shoot the zombies who nearly cause him to fall to his death, saying she forgot she had it earlier because of the weed she smokes. And she also tells Madison and Berkeley to just go for it when the two of them show interest in each other. The movie ends with her conflict having had no real conclusion, especially since she's now the only single member of the group, since Tallahassee has hooked up with Nevada. (Hopefully, if there's a third Zombieland, Little Rock will finally get her due.)
If you're at all annoyed by generic, idiotic blondes, you'll probably despise Madison (Zoey Deutch), as she's the quintessential example of such a character. Columbus and Tallahassee meet her at a mall when they go there to blow off some steam after Wichita and Little Rock left them hanging and she's immediately smitten with Columbus, as well as manages to make Tallahassee instantly dislike her when she first thinks he's Columbus' dad and continues to go on about how he's old. Plus, she's unable to remember his name, no matter how many times she hears it, and mangles it whenever she attempts to say it. Despite her being very airheaded (she says she's survived because she stays in a freezer in a Pinkberry restaurant, but Tallahassee tells Columbus it's because zombies don't bother with her due to her lack of brains to eat) and, initially, really horny, to the point where she threatens to have a go at Tallahassee if Columbus doesn't consent, Madison is actually really sweet. She never comes off as mean-spirited or full of herself, with her only insults being unintentional and due to her obliviousness/stupidity, and her annoying moments don't come out of malice either. She also never actively attempts to drive a wedge between Columbus and Wichita, again because she doesn't grasp that they're a couple who's currently on the outs, and it's not helped by Wichita mockingly calling her Columbus' girlfriend, which she thinks is serious. In fact, Madison saves Wichita from getting killed during their battle with a bunch of zombies in order to claim the abandoned tour bus. Following that scene, it looks as if Madison was bitten and is turning into a zombie herself, as her skin becomes blotchy and she starts vomiting violently. Following her into the woods, Columbus appears to put her out of her misery, only for her to show back up later on, having been actually suffering from a nut allergy and Columbus having fired above her head. Although her reappearance puts a strain on Columbus and Wichita's attempted reconciliation, Madison, again, never causes them any intended trouble, and by the end of the movie, she gives Wichita the Hope Diamond when she decides to accept Columbus' proposal. She then immediately hooks up with the equally empty-headed Berkeley.
A much cooler addition to the cast is the very hot Rosario Dawson as Nevada, who runs the Hound Dog Hotel near what was once Graceland. As I've said, her introduction involves her knocking Tallahassee to the floor and putting a gun to his face, showing she's definitely his equal in terms of toughness, and when she decides he, Columbus, and Wichita aren't a threat, she tells them that Little Rock and Berkeley were there but took off to Babylon. She also brings up the term "Murraying," saying it was coined from the knowledge that Bill Murray was killed by someone who mistook him from a zombie. It's not clear whether or not she puts it together that that someone was Columbus, but when he nervously chatters about not knowing that fact and calls it an urban legend, she walks up to him, makes a gun with her hand, and puts it to his chest, saying she'll kill the person who offed Murray if she ever finds him. After that, she and Tallahassee become close due to their shared love for Elvis, leading to the two of them sleeping together. It turns out that Nevada has a thing for men like him, as when his counterpart, Albuquerque, shows up and the two of them take an instant disliking for each other, she hints that she also let him "use my driveway," as she puts it. Following the chaos that ensues, with Albuquerque and Flagstaff turning into zombies and their having to be put down, Nevada opts not to go on with the others. But, before they leave, she lets him know he's always welcome there. During the climax, when the main group is completely surrounded by zombies and are about to die, Nevada comes to the rescue by driving over the wall around Babylon in Albuquerque's monster truck and picks them up (though, it doesn't last, as the top-heavy vehicle gets knocked over on its side, forcing them to climb out). And after the crisis is averted and Tallahassee has caused the remaining zombies to stampede over the edge of the tower, he and Nevada officially hook up and she joins the group.
Berkeley (Avan Jogia) is this very hippie-like songwriter whom Wichita and Little Rock pick up when they leave the White House and proceeds to absolutely sweep Little Rock off her feet with his guitar-playing, weed-smoking, pacifistic personality. Even though he calls Elvis a fraud who ripped off African-Americans, he's still willing to go to Graceland with Little Rock, and later proves to have no musical talent whatsoever, as he does nothing but plagiarize well-known songs, such as Like A Rolling Stone (and remember, it's later revealed he doesn't even know who Bob Dylan is) and Free Bird. His anti-violence stance has the potential to put both him and Little Rock in serious danger since, as Columbus mentions, he has no intention of using his guitar as a weapon, and he even talks her into abandoning the Beast at the Hound Dog Hotel because he feels it's too "establishment," giving Tallahassee another reason to want to kill him. That's especially bad when you remember that
Berkeley was the one who first warned Wichita and Little Rock about the tougher and more dangerous zombies that have been popping up. He's also the one who tells Little Rock about Babylon and leads her there, saying it's much better than Graceland. Over the course of their time together, you can tell Little Rock is beginning to think less and less of Berkeley, and when Babylon becomes a target for a big horde of "T-800's" and he proves utterly useless in coming up with a plan, she decides to dump him. Not only that, she calls him out for being a "song transcriber" rather than a writer and is especially disgusted with him not knowing who Bob Dylan is, referring to him as a "fucking poser." It's also no surprise that, at the end of the movie, he hooks up with the vapid Madison.
During their stay at the Hound Dog Hotel, Columbus and Tallahassee meet two guys who are very similar to them in personality: Albuquerque (Luke Wilson) and Flagstaff (Thomas Middleditch). Albuquerque instantly ends up on Tallahassee's shit list when he parks his monster truck, Big Fat Death, on top of the Beast, saying it's because it's parked in his driveway, and proves to be just as standoffish and full of attitude as Tallahassee was when he was introduced in the first film. He's also dressed in a similar fashion, with western-like duds and a hat, and has a propensity for weapons and big vehicles, obviously. The two of them continually try to one-up each other throughout the following sequence, comparing their respective sidekicks, and Albuquerque mocks Tallahassee's signature "nut up or shut up" line and questions his manliness in general. On the flip side, Columbus gets along with Flagstaff very well, as they share similar views on surviving Zombieland, with Flagstaff having a list of commandments similar to Columbus' list of rules, and they bond over
Terminator 2 being one of their favorite movies. They don't get much time to bond, though, as some T-800's show up outside and Albuquerque and Flagstaff go outside to deal with them. While they manage to kill them, it's quickly revealed they both got bit and they promptly turn and attack their respective counterparts. While Tallahassee doesn't feel too bad about having to kill Albuquerque, especially after what he did to the Beast, Columbus feels about Flagstaff's fate. At the end of the movie, he says, "Hasta la vista, baby," as a tribute to his doppelganger.
Since he met an untimely demise in the first film, you probably expected not to see Bill Murray again, but during the credits, Columbus decides to make up for having killed him by showing us how day zero of Zombieland turned out for Murray. He was doing a press junket for Garfield 3, trying to be artistic about doing a trilogy (he admitted to Lili Estefan that he truly did it because, "Drugs cost money,"), when everyone tried to prompt him to do a hairball. Al Roker got him to do it and they took a selfie with them both doing it, when Al suddenly threw up and became a zombie. He managed to clock Al with a folding seat and he and his cameraman, Tim, attempted to leave, only to find the building they were in now in absolute chaos. Although Tim got attacked, Murray turned into something of a badass, as he bashed zombies with his seat, smashed glasses over their heads, whacked them with plates, belted them with food trays, and even smashed a zombified Lili with a poster... all while the song I'm Alright from Caddyshack plays on the soundtrack.
Much like its predecessor,
Zombieland: Double Tap is a film that's all about having fun with a bunch of characters you like, in spite of how apocalyptic and hopeless this subgenre tends to be. This time, though, while you still get a lot of fun dialogue and memorable lines, as well as some stylistic humor, the comedy tends to be much sillier, slapsticky, and cartoonish (the first thing you see when the movie begins is the woman in the Columbia Pictures logo beating up some zombies who charge at her with her torch before going back
into her pose and giving a satisfied, "Hmm,"). One of the main reasons for this is how some of the characters are portrayed, such as Tallahassee being more of a more comical figure than he was before (within the first few minutes after the credits, he's declared himself president, written an official pardon for Wesley Snipes, and has appeared wearing a fake Santa Claus beard and hat, along with a sheer red presidential suit), Madison as a total caricature of dumb blondes and valley girls, and Berkeley and
the residents of Babylon as stereotypical, pacifistic hippies who do little other than smoke weed and sit around singing songs. The zombies are also played a little more for laughs than they were originally, with the introduction of fat, slow, moronic types called "Homers" that are easily foiled and distracted (one gets his tongue frozen to a statue because he mistakes it for a person and another begs off attacking the group to chase after a butterfly). Speaking of which, the Zombie Kill of
the Week concept introduced in the first film is taken to ridiculous extremes, with a guy in Iowa running over one zombie who's running from
him with a wheat thresher, slicing him into bloody bits and baling the rest of him up, and, in a scene that's full on Loony Tunes, a guy from Italy drops the freaking Leaning Tower on some zombies! Plus, Tallahassee is now after "Zombie Kill of the Year," but as far as Columbus is concerned, he pulls off one for the century when he stampedes zombies off the top of the Babylon
tower at the end. And even the rules now have more of a sense of humor to them that doesn't just involve popping up at appropriate points. For example, when the first Homer is introduced, the caption identifying him is done in the Simpsons font, complete with a doughnut as the "o." Also, when they first encounter the very tough T-800 zombies, Tallahassee goes through so many shots to put one down that the rule cycles through, "double tap," "triple tap," "quadruple tap," "quintuple tap," "octuple tap," until finally when, he goes down after the ninth shot, the rule says, "Whatever the Nine-Uple Word Is Tap."
Double Tap is also much more meta. There was already that kind of aesthetic to the first movie, with Columbus' constant narration to us about how Zombieland came about and how he managed to survive and meet up with the other characters, but this one puts it right over the top, with his first line being, "Back for seconds? After all this time? Well, what can I say but, thank
you? You have a lot of choices when it comes to zombie entertainment,
and we appreciate you picking us." Later, he says, "Unless you're in a 4-D theater, there is
no way I
can communicate how bad Z-Land smells," advises the audience at one point, "You may want to set down the Milk-Duds for this one," and even interrupts the ending credits to make up for killing Bill Murray by giving us that awesome moment of him beating up zombies when the outbreak first began. Just the fact that you have Murray doing a press junket for
Garfield 3: Flabby Tabby, spouting off lines from his movies while beating up zombies, and doing it all to the song from
Caddyshack, is another
clue to how self-aware this film is, as is the moment early on when Columbus is reading an issue of The Walking Dead and comments, "God, this is really terrifying, but totally unrealistic." But the crowning moment has to be when the movie essentially pokes fun at itself by introducing Albuquerque and Flagstaff as virtual doppelgangers to Tallahassee and Columbus so you can watch them interact with each other (they tried to get Michael Cera, who looks a lot like Jesse Eisenberg, to play Flagstaff just to make the gag work better), as others comment on just how much they look and act alike, while they themselves are often oblivious. But, while it is amusing and doesn't overstay its welcome, that was the point where I was like, "Okay, guys, you're kind of pushing it."
Which leads me into one of the film's bigger faults: it focuses so much on the comedy that it doesn't go for the heart as much as the first did. It attempts to have that same balance of laughs and serious moments, such as Wichita's concern for Little Rock since she's out there with no defenses, her and Columbus attempting to repair their fractured relationship, and the moment in the third act when Tallahassee prepares to head out on his own and says his goodbyes, but none of it is as affecting as the moments in the first film where Columbus
learns his hometown has been destroyed and Tallahassee reveals his young son was the one killed by the zombies. There's something of a hitch in these heartfelt moments, too, either with how contrived Columbus and Wichita's relationship problems are or how not once do you feel that Little Rock is truly in any danger, as we see her and Berkeley having a pretty smooth trip to Babylon (it might have been more effective if, after they dumped Wichita, we never saw them until the others made it to Babylon). Also, when
Tallahassee is preparing to hit the road, you know he's going to be back, so there's no drama there, and like in the first film, they try to make it seem as though the group is going to meet their end during the battle with the zombies and also make it look like Tallahassee is going to sacrifice himself in order to save the others, but you know they're not going to go through with it, as these characters are too likable. There's a major bit of drama when it seems as though Madison is becoming a zombie and Columbus is forced to follow her into the
woods and shoot her. You only hear the gunshots and Columbus comes back to the car, looking completely destroyed, and Tallahassee and Wichita do their best to console him and are truly heartfelt in doing so. There's even a bit of black humor when the "Travel Light" rule comes up when they drive off afterward. But then, Madison shows back up and it's revealed she was having a bad allergic reaction to the nuts in some trail mix and he only shot in the air to scare her away. Madison may be a memorable and likable character, but that felt like a major cheat. And by the end of the movie, it's all about family and how you're always home when you're with them, which is fine and all, but makes me think, "Didn't we already kind of come to that conclusion before?"
Which leads me to my next point: while it doesn't distract from the enjoyment, this is a sequel that recreates one too many elements from the first. Obviously, you'd expect and want to see certain things return, like Columbus' narration, the rules, the visual flair, and, of course, the characters, but you'd also hope it would do some things different. Instead, it follows a lot of the same story beats, in that it's a road movie where a final destination is firmly established, the characters stay overnight in a place dedicated to a famous person,
there's a big climax at the ultimate destination that has the characters facing off against a swarm of zombies, it ends with everyone heading off together once, and not only is there another appearance by Bill Murray but there's another post-credits outtake involving him. I don't mind seeing Murray again, nor do I have a problem with the opening credits sequence being another slow-motion montage where the credits are smashed and shattered by what's going on, and set to another Metallica song, but it would have been nice if they'd
gone for something of a different story, rather than coming up these contrived excuses for the group to be split
up again, only to eventually get back together, with some new
characters thrown into the mix. In fact, it might have made for a better one had they taken elements of the characters' backstories and done something with them, like maybe have the group end up in the actual town of Columbus, Ohio, where they meet Columbus' parents, either as zombies or still-living refugees,
go deeper into what Wichita and Little Rock's lives were like before they met the guys, go more into what happened with Buck, or, you know, give Little Rock herself an arc, as they were seemingly going to at first. They could have also done more with the zombies besides introducing a small new element and then letting it lie with few consequences to the story. Again, the movie they ultimately went with is an entertaining one, but it had the potential to be a sequel that really stood on its own.
As he did before, Ruben Fleischer brings a lot of dynamic visual flair and energy to the film. For one, I like the way it looks more than the first, as it doesn't look as washed-out and desaturated, rather coming off as brighter, with the nighttime scenes not being as murky (for the most part), likely because it was shot with a different camera system. You also get a lot of really good camerawork, not just in the big, wide shots that are carried over from the first movie but also in how there are some fairly long sequences that are done in one shot,
most notably when Albuquerque and Flagstaff become zombies and attack Columbus and Tallahassee. From the moment Flagstaff becomes a full-on zombie and attacks Columbus until he's finally killed with a headshot, this elaborate, nearly two-minute sequence of them fighting and chasing each other around the Hound Dog Hotel is made to look like it was done all in one go. I don't think it really was, as it seems like there was some digital trickery to make it come off as though that were the case, but it's still a visually dynamic and
exciting scene. Speaking of which, there seems to have been a lot more visual effects and green-screen work done here, likely to make scenes feel bigger or to create the illusion of famous places like the White House and Graceland having been long abandoned and overgrown. The most notable example of this is that scene where the guy topples the Leaning Tower of Pisa onto a much of zombies, as that whole environment looks digital and added in after the fact. And, as I've already
said, the visuals of the opening credits, Zombie Kill of the Year graphics, and Columbus' rules popping up onscreen in 3-D and interacting with the action are just as dynamic and fun as they were before, with little extras added in like the pink lettering added in for whenever a rule applies to Madison, the Eskimo words that appear on snowflakes at the very beginning of the movie, and Flagstaff's commandments written in a more biblical font.
There's a big Elvis aesthetic to the film, as Tallahassee is revealed to be a fan of the King and dreams of visiting Graceland with Little Rock. He gives Little Rock the Colt .45 Elvis supposedly gave President Nixon as a Christmas present, which she uses to save his life at the end, and a chunk of the movie's middle takes place at the Hound Dog Hotel that Nevada has set up near what was once Graceland. As I'll get into, there you see a lot of memorabilia pertaining to Elvis, chief among them his actual purple shoes and a mannequin whose suit
Tallahassee steals in order to impress Nevada. And finally, Tallahassee sings snippets of Elvis' songs here and there, culminating in the ending credits where you hear Woody Harrelson himself singing Burning Love (and he's not half bad, either). While maybe not the most original aesthetic, it is one thing that helps the film stand out from the first, rather than repeating Tallahassee's obsession with Twinkies.
Double Tap is another film that was shot virtually all in Georgia, specifically in Atlanta, Macon, and Decatur. Also like before, the filmmakers did a good job in making the locations used come off as long abandoned and overgrown, with lots of thick fields, grass growing up through the asphalt in the roads and parking lots, and plenty of wrecked cars everywhere. It was likely all done through a combination of closing down areas, set dressings, and digital work to make the horizons and skylines look totally destroyed, the latter of which you see
more of, probably due to the bigger budget. Like I said, they also did a good job of making places like the White House look as though it's been through the apocalypse, and there are more big-scale, interior sets here too. The interiors of the lab and rundown building you see at the very beginning are only a prelude to sets such as the inside of the White House, where you spend time in the Oval Office, the Lincoln Bedroom, which is where Columbus and Wichita sleep (the latter makes Columbus cover the eyes on Lincoln's portrait because the
idea of him watching them creeps her out), the big foyer and long, winding hallways, and a sort of garage area where Tallahassee turns a presidential limousine into the Beast, which also contains mechanical tools, basketballs, various things to use as target practice, a rocket nose, two astronaut suits, and even arcade games. After that is the Hound Dog Hotel, which Nevada apparently made in order to replace Graceland. The outside of it is almost entirely neon, with two big, pink and gold
guitars on either side of the parking lot's front and an image of Elvis on the front of the roof, but the inside is even more amazing. Right inside the front door, the walls are decorated with Elvis' records and guitars, with a pair of purple shoes that were actually his on display, there are beaded curtains where the beads are shaped to look like record discs, and to the right is a white-colored room with a very classy, white piano and even a shrine made to a statue of Elvis. The place also has a replica of
Elvis' jungle room, which has a green and brown color palette to the decor, a bar, saloon-like doors leading in from one room with a pool table, and plenty of stained glass images of Elvis lining the walls, as well as a white and pink bedroom, with a big, heart-shaped bed where Tallahassee and Nevada deal with their burning love.
Probably the most impressive location in the film is Babylon, the hippie commune that's supposed to be a major safe haven from the zombies. What's amazing is that the enormous building at the center of the place is an actual location the filmmakers found in Atlanta: a long abandoned hotel with a construction crane up top. The outer walls of the place are made up of panels of tin that have a big mural of the night sky painted on it, with a big, pink flower over the main door, and beyond the door is a small community that leads up to the tower, at the top of which is
where most of the inhabitants hang out. The ultimate reveal of the whole place is a breathtaking pullback that starts on Little Rock, Berkeley, and one of the commune's inhabitants on the ground and then goes back into the air, showing the entire area beyond the wall and then revealing the top of the tower. The one rule in the place is that you have to give them any guns you have in order to be let in, after which they're melted down and molded into peace necklaces. This comes back
to really bite them when a big group of T-800's are attracted to the place by the fireworks they let off into the sky and they have virtually nothing to defend themselves with. As a result, the main group has to improvise and use what they have in order to defeat the zombies, which ultimately happens when Tallahassee has them chase him up the tower, where everyone creates a corral with makeshift gauntlets, and he makes them stampede over the edge while he grabs onto the construction crane's hook.
While there are distinctions made between different types of zombies here, they're still hardly focused on and the notion of there being different types quickly becomes irrelevant. As mentioned before, there are the fat, dopey Homers who aren't much of a threat and are actually more of a source of amusement, but there also a type called "Hawkings," named after Stephen Hawking and, as that implies, are significantly more intelligent than other zombies, able to figure out how to get around obstacles in order to reach their prey. Another type
of zombie is the "Ninja," which manage to be quite stealthy and able to sneak up on a hapless victim. It's one of these zombies that seemingly bites and turns Madison. And finally, there's the mutated strain of zombies that begin popping up which the main group names "T-800's," (or "Bolts," as Albuquerque and Flagstaff call them). Whatever you want to call them, these zombies prove to be bad news, as they don't go down with a simple double tap and, as the first one they encounter
proves, they're smart enough to know to dodge bullets. But, again, this barely becomes relevant as the movie goes on, as this tough nature of theirs doesn't come into play that much. Even with a big horde of T-800's attacking Babylon during the climax, there aren't that many moments that make it seem as though the main group are in way more danger than they were when they faced regular zombies during the climax at the amusement park in the first movie. The moment where it seems like
they're doomed, besides being another repeat from the first one, doesn't last very long, and after Nevada comes in with the big save, the zombies are defeated fairly easily. Yeah, these movies are about the characters rather than the zombies themselves but, after making them peripheral the first time, at least do something more with them than just this little baby-step.
Like before, the designs of the zombies by Tony Gardner and his company are effective, coming off as diseased, banged up and bloody, and decaying, but they're still kind of generic and don't have anything that truly makes them stand out from other zombies in movies. One thing I do like, though, is that this movie gives you more of a sense of how someone who's infected transforms: their skin becomes progressively blotchy, they sweat more and more, they look increasingly feverish, start vomiting, their eyes become darker in color, and then they
become ravenous and start attacking and munching on anything in sight. Madison's allergic reaction to the peanuts in the trail mix progresses in almost the exact same way, and as she tries to warn Columbus that she's not becoming a zombie, she can barely talk and starts ranting and yelling, making it seem all the more like she is changing into one.
This movie goes for the "bigger is better" approach to sequels in many aspects, and one of those is the gore. While the first
Zombieland wasn't a slouch in the blood and guts department,
Double Tap, fittingly, doubles down on what came before. In the prologue alone, you see a zombie's frozen tongue get ripped off before he's decapitated and another zombie rips an eyeball out of a severed body and holds it in her mouth for several seconds, and during the opening credits sequence, you see lots of bloody zombie headshots, with some heads getting blown apart, zombies getting split open and stabbed by
crowbars and spikes, and some getting blasted into pieces. There are a number of bloody headshots like that throughout the movie, as well as the one zombie getting sliced up by a wheat thresher, with blood and chunks flying everywhere and the rest of him ending up in a square of wheat, and the first T-800 finally dying by getting his head stomped in by Tallahassee, with blood coating the camera lens in that moment. Oddly, you don't see a lot of zombie on human carnage this time around but,
regardless, if you didn't get your carnage fix the first time around, this should easily quench your thirst. I will say that a number of these gore effects are obviously done digitally, and there are also some brief shots where the zombies themselves are obviously CGI but, like before, they're done well enough to where it shouldn't be distracting and it also adds to the crazy, over-the-top tone.
When the movie begins, opening on a building in the snow, Columbus, after welcoming us back to Zombieland, tells us that the zombies have now evolved into various types and are given names to differentiate them. Case in point, a woman comes running out of the building, chased by a zombie Columbus tells us is the dumbest kind: a Homer. Said Homer shows us just how dumb he is when he stops chasing the woman and goes for a nearby statue, attempting to bite it but getting his tongue
frozen to it instead. As the woman watches in obvious amusement, the Homer attempts to pull his tongue off and ends up ripping it, with Columbus giving the appropriate, "D'oh!" The woman then takes the opportunity to grab the sword the statue is holding and slice the Homer's head off. Another guy in a laboratory isn't so lucky, as he's being chased by the craftier type of zombie called a Hawking. He's chased to a door that requires a retina scan to be let in and manages to get
through and close it, with the Hawking slamming against the glass and sliding down it, leaving a trail of blood. The man laughs, thinking he's safe, but the Hawking spies a dead man lying next to her and bites right into his face. She gets to her feet, walks to the retina scan, and when it doesn't work when scanning her own eyes, she opens her mouth, blood pours out, and you then see she ripped the corpse's eye out and uses it for the scan. This allows her to get inside and, after spitting the eyeball out, she attacks and rips into the man's
jugular, with Columbus making a Jurassic Park reference by commenting, "Clever girl." It then cuts to a man roaming around a dark, abandoned building, when a figure rushes behind him. Columbus suggests we play "Name That Zombie," as the man makes the mistake of asking if anyone's there, and when he doesn't get a response, he thinks he's safe. That's when a zombie tackles him to the ground and bites into him, as Columbus describes this type as, "The Ninja. Silent. Deadly. The first thing you hear is your own scream."
We cut to a field where the main cast stands, all armed and ready to kick some zombie butt, as Columbus tells us how he's been looking for a permanent home since the start of Zombieland and that Tallahassee's comment of, "Go big or go home," gave him the idea to, "Go big
and go home." A shot that circles around behind the group reveals they're standing in front of the White House, as a bunch of zombies run towards them. This leads into the opening credits sequence, which I think outdoes the first one in terms of
awesomeness. Instead of an apocalyptic sequence showing how the virus continued spreading across the country, we instead see the group decimating zombies in slow-motion. They blast them through the heads, Tallahassee slices a crowbar through one's torso, Wichita sends one flying with a shot from her grenade launcher, another zombie gets Tallahassee's crowbar through the right side of his head, two zombies get blown up by another shot from Wichita, and she and Little Rock begin using handguns, the latter blowing a gushing hole
through one zombie's forehead. Tallahassee actually tackles a zombie to the ground, Wichita shoots through one zombie's eye and the bullet goes straight through and blasts through the eye of another zombie standing behind her, Little Rock takes one down with two nicely-placed shots, Wichita stabs one in the throat with a long spike while Columbus blasts another in the head with his shotgun, and in a final, truly epic panorama shot, you see Wichita shooting one off his feet, Columbus struggling with a female
zombie, Little Rock blasting a zombie that appeared to be jumping at Columbus, and, in the back, Tallahassee has skewered one on the spike of a presidential flag. And all of this is set to Metallica's Master of Puppets, which Ruben Fleischer wanted to put in the first film but was unable to get the rights, so he made sure to get it for the sequel. Personally, I like it more than For Whom the Bell Tolls, which is already pretty awesome in and of itself. With that victory, the group now has the White House all to themselves, with Tallahassee declaring, "Hail to the motherfucking chief!" when they walk through the door.
As Columbus tells us, their time at the White House was quite a picnic initially. First thing Tallahassee does is declare himself president by sitting in the Oval Office, commenting he would have made a good one and would have, "Kissed a few hands, shook a few babies." Wichita says she should be president and nominates Little Rock as her vice president, which she only takes to mean that she would become president if Wichita dies. We get a montage of them indulging in the
rule of enjoying the little things, like riding scooters through the halls, playing ball without worrying about damaging anything, redecorating the place, celebrating Little Rock's birthday, Tallahassee showing Little Rock the best way to shoot a basket, and "President Tallahassee" giving Wesley Snipes an official pardon. We then see that, whenever Columbus wants to get it on with Wichita in the Lincoln Bedroom, he has to cover the eyes of Lincoln's portrait. Meanwhile, we cut to
downstairs, where Tallahassee is refurbishing the presidential limousine into the Beast, mounting a mini-gun to the sunroof after having already put a plow on the and steer horns on the hood. That's when Little Rock mentions her desire to find someone special for herself and start a family of her own, something Tallahassee isn't very sensitive about, as he jokes she could find someone if she's open to dating zombies and says they're her family. Columbus, in his narration, adds, "But, for better or worse, we were a family. And for the first time since
the virus, we were living somewhere truly
safe, making every day feel
like, well, like Christmas morning." Cut to Tallahassee wearing a Santa Claus beard, hat, and a red, presidential suit, with a tree that's decorated with beer cans, toy cars, and grenade ornaments. He annoys Little Rock by calling her a little girl and asking her what she'd like for Christmas; Columbus attempts to sit on his lap and tell him what he'd like, only for Tallahassee to push him off into the floor, saying, "I don't give a fuck what you'd like." After Columbus admits that their time at the White House was the best
moment in his life, including before Zombieland, he gets a Christmas present from Wichita: a first edition of The Fellowship of the Ring. Tallahassee gives Little Rock a case with a gun inside, which she isn't that thrilled about. He then says it's a Colt .45 that Elvis Presley gave to President Nixon when he visited the White House, and Little Rock, feeling frustrated, goes to vent by shooting some zombies outside. She also asks Tallahassee not to come with her and says it's not even really Christmas; it's November 17th. Columbus narrates, "Little Rock was on the hunt, alright... for people her own age. And the thing is, they were out there. We just made it a point to keep our distance, which would kind of suck if you were the one stuck in the nest."
That night, Columbus, seeing that Wichita is feeling bad for Little Rock, whom she says reminds her so much of herself, tries to get her out of her funk by pulling a little box out of a drawer and opening it to reveal the Hope Diamond. Knowing he's proposing marriage, Wichita is taken aback, saying he knows how she feels about such things, mainly that married people eventually get divorced. Columbus advises her not to say anything yet and to just think about it. When he
crawls back in bed and turns out the lights, Wichita is obviously thinking about it. The next morning, Columbus walks downstairs in a white robe, whistling happily, and runs into Tallahassee, who looks rather dour. He breaks some bad news to him: Wichita and Little Rock have left, leaving behind nothing but a pitiful excuse for a goodbye note that says, "We feel like total shit about leaving. Sorry, not good at notes." Moreover, the girls left in the Beast, which Little Rock tells Wichita is not going to sit well with Tallahassee,
who says he should learn not to get so attached, like Columbus. Little Rock suddenly tells Wichita to stop the car and she hits the brakes and stops right in front of a guy standing in the road, thumbing for a ride. Putting his hands together like he's praying, the guy bows and says, "Namaste," while Little Rock waves from behind the mounted mini-gun and says, "Hi." A month passes and Columbus, who's still feeling low and sorry for himself, goes with Tallahassee to a nearby mall for some "retail therapy." As they ride through the mall
on security Segways, Columbus continues prattling on and on about Wichita, until Tallahassee finally breaks and tells him he's decided to hit the road again, that his idea of finding a place to settle down has made them soft. They then come across a zombie who's attempting to attack her reflection in a mirror, when she spots them. Columbus offers to take her down but Tallahassee decides to show off by bringing a bottle of liquor, tossing it into the air, shooting it, and then shooting the zombie. Columbus isn't that impressed, while Tallahassee,
seeing that the zombie isn't dead, walks over and puts her down with a double tap. Asking how he did, Columbus answers that it was no Zombie Kill of the Year, which he explains is the title Tallahassee goes for nowadays. And for those keeping score, he tells us that Zombie Kill of the Week goes to Dave Sanderman of Riverside, Iowa, who chases a zombie through a wheat-field with a thresher and runs him over, chopping him up into bloody chunks and baling his head, arms, and feet up into a square of wheat.
Tallahassee tells Columbus he's partially Blackfoot Indian and goes on to describe them as the freest men who ever lived, adding that they listened to the call of the buffalo and hunted them by herding them off the cliffs, but as he goes on, Columbus rides off on his Segway, just as Tallahassee mentions how he's telling him this because he always listens. He goes into a candle shop to smell them, when he hears something behind him, swings around, and
shoots, nearly hitting a young, blonde woman wearing nothing but pink. Panicking, the woman yells that the fur lining her coat collar is fake and, when Columbus realizes she's not a zombie, the two of them introduce each other, with the girl, Madison, promptly hugging him, saying it's nice to touch a human. Tallahassee comes in on his Segway, gun at the ready, only to see that nothing's wrong. Madison instantly gets off on the wrong foot with him, thinking he's Columbus' dad and calling him Paul Blart, before explaining that she's
been living in a freezer at a Pinkberry. She also proclaims to be a good survivor, as she carries a can of mace with her and can run really fast, the latter of which she attributes to her doing yoga, which allows her to bond with Columbus when he mentions his first rule of cardio. Ignoring Tallahassee trying to tell him to shut it, Columbus tells Madison how they're holed up at the White House and invites her to come by. She accepts, and asks him to tell her all of his rules. As they walk off, Columbus explains in his narration that, after
Wichita left, he was just happy to talk to someone who didn't smell like whiskey and gunpowder. When they return to the White House with her, Madison, again, annoys Tallahassee by suggesting he's old and needs someone to take care of him. He then drags Columbus into the Oval Office and advises him to get rid of Madison, saying, "You know why she's still alive? Because zombies eat brains, and she ain't go any!", before reiterating that he's leaving the next morning. Madison comes through the door and, after asking why they call it
the Oval Office (you can literally hear a cricket chirping after she says that), asks Columbus to give her a tour. He leads her straight to the Lincoln Bedroom, where she makes her true intentions known when she pushes him on the bed and gets on top of him. Initially, he pushes her off, saying he feels guilty, while she, thinking he's talking about Jesus, says she knows a way around that and gets back on top of him. When he rebuffs her again, she declares how she's been stuck in a freezer for years and that she'll have a go at Tallahassee if he doesn't do it with her. Figuring he'd best be the one, Columbus goes through with it. When they do, one of the strips of paper covering Lincoln's eyes slips off, while down below, Tallahassee hears the sounds they're making and comments, "Nuttin' up. Definitely not shuttin' up."
Hearing a loud clang elsewhere in the building, Tallahassee creeps down the halls with an old flintlock rifle with a bayonet and nearly shoots Columbus when he comes running in with a katana sword, which he says was given to President Eisenhower by Emperor Hirohito. Mentioning the sounds they each heard, Columbus notes that he probably heard him and Madison having sex, citing rule number #1; Tallahassee, in turn, suggests Madison may have been getting into a little rule
#32 (enjoy the little things). Heading for the door to the garage, they kick it open and both try to rush in, but Tallahassee gets snagged in the doorway when he tries to carry the flintlock while holding it across his hands. When Columbus goes in, he's surprised to find Wichita, who says she just came to get some weapons, explaining that Little Rock's gone. Columbus pours them some mugs of Code Red Mountain Dew and Wichita tells them of the young man they picked up, saying he was
someone from Berkeley who played the guitar. Both of those facts enrage Tallahassee, and though Columbus manages to talk him down, telling him he's overreacting, when Wichita mentions the guy is also a pacifist who has a policy of "strict conflict avoidance," Tallahassee completely loses it. He screams, "No!", at the top of his lungs, throws an assault rifle on the other side of the room, and then kicks and throws anything he can get his hands on, while yelling a bunch of nonsense. When he finally gets it out of his system, he sits back down and
says he has nothing against pacifists but simply wants to beat them up. We get a flashback to when Berkeley wooed Little Rock with one of his songs and they decided to go see Graceland, despite Berkeley's low opinion of Elvis, while Wichita sat nearby and looked at him with disgust. Wichita tells the guys she said no to Little Rock for the first time ever, which led to her and Berkeley taking off without her (she left Wichita a note, which Tallahassee can't help but rub in her face).
In a long tracking shot that follows them upstairs, Wichita tells Columbus and Tallahassee about how worried she is for her sister, as well as that Berkeley told them about a new strain of zombie that's much tougher and better adapted to hunting humans; Columbus finds that very far-fetched and thinks Wichita is making it up as an excuse to get them to come with her. Tallahassee decides they're going to go look for Little Rock come dawn and, once they find her and ensure her safety,
he's going his own way. Once he heads upstairs, Columbus confronts Wichita about her leaving and she says his proposal spooked her, though he basically has to drag an actual apology out of her. Columbus says this may be a turning point for them... and then, Madison comes downstairs and asks him if he's coming back to bed. Obviously, Wichita is very, very pissed and storms off, leaving Columbus to stand there and mutter, "Oh, fuck!", as Madison asks if she was his sister. The next day,
everyone prepares to load up, and Tallahassee is happy to have the Beast back, only to be enraged when he sees that Wichita's ride back was in a minivan. He rants, "
No way is that GD minivan even sniffing at Graceland, home to, perhaps, America's finest automobile, Elvis' 1955 Fleetwood Series 60. No. You know, it takes a
real man to drive a pink Cadillac." He considers making that a rule of his own, and it actually appears in golden letters above him, but then decides, "On second thought, fuck that. Rules are
for pussies," which Columbus takes offense to, despite Tallahassee's half-hearted attempt to say it wasn't intended as one. They then prepare to load up the car, as Columbus narrates how Tallahassee is smart enough to know that beggars can't be choosers in Zombieland, just as he kicks the side-view mirror and gets rid of the glass. They put their stuff in the back and climb inside, Wichita tossing Tallahassee the keys, which hit him in the crotch. That's when Madison walks down the steps, carrying some pink luggage, to which Tallahassee
exclaims, "What... in... the... butt?!" Columbus explains that he couldn't just leave her behind, prompting an argument between him and Wichita. Tallahassee gets out to "help" Madison with her luggage, and when she climbs inside the van, he closes the back
without her luggage, obeying the rule of traveling light. Once everyone's inside, Tallahassee rattles off some Blackfoot names, while it comes up that Columbus met Madison at the mall, which she says was like living in
Dawn of the Dead (I have a sneaking suspicion she means the 2004 version). After Columbus brings up that Madison didn't point a gun at him and steal his car when they first met, they head off, with Madison yelling, "Road trip! Here we go!", while Tallahassee grumbles, "This is gonna be a long drive."
Elsewhere, Little Rock and Berkeley drive around in the Beast, the former using the mini-gun to blast some bags of money that tumbled out of an overturned bank truck, before the two of them start smoking some weed that Berkeley happens to have on him. Back with the others, Wichita becomes all the more steamed to learn that Madison is now wearing the Hope Diamond, and after Tallahassee suddenly hits the brakes and flings Madison into the front seat, she mentions that she forgot the rule
about seat-belts. The fact that she also knows about Columbus' rules makes Wichita even more pissed. They get out of the car and Tallahassee scans the area from the overpass they're on with a pair of binoculars, while Columbus limbers up. Seeing something he likes, Tallahassee lets Columbus see through them, but what he sees is an ice cream truck with a clown on the side. Tallahassee points him towards what he was really talking about, a large tour bus near said ice cream truck,
which Columbus is far more approving of. He gives Madison the binoculars so she can see, only she looks through the wrong end and sees a very small Tallahassee, or the "old man," as she calls him, who proceeds to flip her off and ask if she can see that. She repeatedly lowers and lifts the binoculars, saying, "Now, you're not [tiny]. Now, you are," again and again, as Wichita comments, "She's adorable." (If you look at the bottom of the screen during that bit, you can see Tallahassee's middle finger pop up again.) On the way to the bus,
Columbus and Wichita are arguing again, the former calling the latter mean while the latter says that, since her sister is missing and possibly dead, while Columbus has run to the arms of another woman, she'll be as mean as she wants. When they reach the bus, Madison goes on ahead, talking about having partied with Three Doors Down in a similar bus, only to open the door and set off a car alarm, the sound of which attracts the attention of many zombies nearby. Everyone prepares for the oncoming battle, with Tallahassee giving
Columbus a boost onto the bus' roof, telling him to warn them where the zombies are coming from, saying the hood is 12:00 and the trunk is 6:00. As the zombies slowly but surely close in, Madison stupidly says, "You guys, they are much more afraid of us than we are of them," to which Wichita counters, "God, that is not even remotely true." While she takes her position, Madison asks Tallahassee what she should do, and he hypes her up by mentioning the bottom section of a pyramid of cheerleaders before telling her, "I don't give a shit what you do, just stay out of my way."
Columbus starts spouting off times to indicate various zombies. At "8:00" are two that Tallahassee guns down with a machine gun (he then remembers that the front is 12:00 and he should have said that position was 2:00); two more come in at 11:00 and Wichita guns them down; Columbus sees one at 7:00 and then 6:00, but realizes he'd best get him and does so with his shotgun; and then spots one moving in a direction that prompts him to yell, "1:15, 1:30," when
Madison suddenly yells, "Why is everyone shouting numbers?!" Wichita and Tallahassee manage to gun down more coming at them from their respective positions, with the latter then taking down one that comes at him from 6:00. When his assault rifle runs out, he uses his trusty signature gun and blasts another that comes at him. He then slams the zombie up against the bus, shoots him through the head, and then swings around and picks off another at 1:00. Wichita
runs out of rounds in her assault rifle and has to reload, when a zombie runs at her from 8:00. Before he can reach her, Madison jumps between them and manages to mace him, giving Wichita time to reload and blast him, all while Madison lets out girly screams. Tallahassee whips out double handguns and uses them to take out zombies that come at him from various positions at the same time. Columbus himself takes out a zombie at 3:00, unaware that a Hawking has figured out to climb up to the bus' roof using the ladder in the back. He
continues shouting out positions, while down below, a zombie charges Wichita and grabs the barrel of her assault rifle, only for her to unload and blast his face into mush. Columbus points out a zombie at 11:00, but then sees him chasing a butterfly and realizes he's a Homer, advising the others not to waste any bullets. Wichita sees the zombie that's climbed onto the roof of the bus and warns Columbus, who turns around to see the Hawking charging right at him. He quickly ducks down and the Hawking flies over the front of the bus while lunging for Columbus, getting shot
by Tallahassee and Wichita when he hits the ground. Seeing this, Madison happily claps her hands, when a Ninja crawls from underneath the bus, grabs her foot, and goes in for the bite. Columbus promptly kills him with a headshot and Madison dreamily says, "You saved me," much to Wichita's irritation.
Columbus sees another zombie coming in at 1:00 and warns Tallahassee. He takes aim with one of his handguns and shoots, only to be surprised when the zombie, twice, dodges his shots. Confused by this, he shoots again and manages to down the zombie with a double tap, commenting, "Try to dodge
me, motherfucker." But Columbus sees that the zombie is getting back up, despite the double tap, and tells us, "This was our first T-800, named for the Terminator it-fucking-self." Both he and
Wichita warn Tallahassee about what's happening and he turns around to watch in disbelief as the zombie gets back on his feet and starts charging at him. Asking, "Two plus two still equals four, right?", he uses both of his handguns and fires on the zombie again and again, and he finally seems to go down with nine shots. But, he then starts viciously crawling towards Tallahassee, shirking off numerous shots like they're nothing, as Tallahassee exclaims, "What the ever-loving fuck?!" The zombie reaches him and he promptly brings his foot down and smashes his head into paste with a well-placed stomp. Madison simply says, "Ew," while Columbus narrates how seeing the T-800 made them even more worried for Little Rock.
After a quick glimpse back at Little Rock and Berkeley, the latter of whom finishes singing Like a Rolling Stone and then starts singing a song he says is a work in progress, only for said song to turn out to be Free Bird, we cut back to the main group, as Tallahassee marks the tour bus with his signature number 3 on the side, as the actual song of Free Bird plays on the soundtrack. When they've loaded up into the bus, Tallahassee proceeds to recite a poem of his own making:
"Traveling to Graceland, in comfort and class, that Pontiac transport can kiss my ass." He pulls ahead and rounds a corner to head down alongside a brick building, only for the tires to suddenly blow out and the bus sink down a good couple of feet. Getting out, they see they hit a spike strip. Tallahassee, unwilling to go back in the minivan, suggests they take the ice cream truck but Columbus nixes that, yelling, "That is a deal-breaker! No fucking clowns!" Tallahassee
acquiesces and the group walks back to the minivan on the overpass, Tallahassee talking about how, in times of such dishonor, samurai warriors had to commit seppuku. He angrily smacks the side-view mirror on the driver's side again before reluctantly getting in and driving off with everyone, snarling, "Fucking minivans!", while Madison yells, "Back on the road! Yay!" Later, as she and Wichita are sharing some trail mix, she prattles on about an idea she has for a business where strangers pick up strangers and drive them
around for money. (If you think she's being stupid and doesn't know about Uber, remember that, in this universe, the zombie outbreak began in 2009, before the concept of Uber transport began taking off.) Everyone laughs off the idea, noting the potential danger in such a system, and Madison tries to justify herself with an idea of giving out points for driver performance, saying a would-be murderer would get none. Madison then lets out a burp and, as her face becomes increasingly blotchy, she mentions she's hot and removes her coat. She burps again and they can hear the sound of internal
gurgling. She tries to say something but starts yelling a bunch of gibberish and retches. Wichita tells Tallahassee to pull over, having to force him to do so, as he argues they're making good time. When he does, Madison jumps out and runs to the edge of the woods, where she vomits. Columbus tries to argue that she might pull through but Wichita reminds him of his rule about not taking chances. They debate about who's going to have to blow her away, and though Columbus tries to argue she has a right to live, Wichita tells him she's going to
become a zombie in a few seconds and attack them. As Madison continues vomiting and wanders off into the woods, Columbus narrates, "They say when something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, destroy you, or strengthen you." He unbuckles his seat-belt, cocks his shot gun, and steps out of the van, noting, "Time to teach Lennie about the rabbits."
He follows Madison deeper into the woods, as she frantically yells at him, while he tries to talk her down. They stop at one point and, revealing that her physical and mental condition is deteriorating rapidly, she seems to yell, "I'm a monster, Columbus!" He tries to tell her he thinks she's a really great person, when she blows more chunks and then yells incoherently, looking very sinister and motioning towards her tongue. Apologizing to her, Columbus points his shotgun and the film cuts
back to the minivan, where Wichita and Tallahassee hear two gunshots, making both of them wince. Columbus returns and gets back into the passenger seat. His friends try to comfort him but he asks them to just drive on and, after Wichita throws out Madison's coat and purse, they drive off, which is when the "Travel Light" rule appears on the side of the road in a bit of very dark humor. On the way, Tallahassee and Wichita continue trying to console Columbus, but the
latter's inability to remember Madison's name rubs him the wrong way, leading to another passive-aggressive exchange between them. Come nightfall, Whichita is now driving, while Tallahassee is asleep in the back, when they arrive in Memphis and start heading down the road to Graceland. Columbus wakes Tallahassee up and tells him they're there, as if he's a kid who's being taken to Walt Disney World. Tallahassee does act like an excited kid, saying everything he's ever done in life has led to this moment, but then they
see that Graceland is a dilapidated dump. Not only is Tallahassee shattered about that, he becomes even more upset when they see no sign of the Beast or Little Rock, yelling, "Am I not allowed one cocksucking, duck-fucking little break in this world?!" Unable to take it, he tells them to just drive on. As they do, things seem more hopeless than ever, when they see a neon sign advertising the "Hound Dog Hotel" and drive up towards it. Although Tallahassee is not impressed by its exterior, calling it a joke, he then becomes excited when he sees the Beast sitting in its parking lot.
When they walk inside, Tallahassee is impressed by how much the place looks and feels like Graceland. Though he suggests splitting up, Wichita opts to go find and speak with Little Rock herself, leaving the boys in the lobby. Columbus looks at a pair of purple shoes and when he goes to touch them, Tallahassee stops him, telling him to have some respect, only to hold his foot up and indicate for him to put them on his feet. Columbus pulls his boot off and tries to put one of the shoes
on Tallahassee's foot, but it proves to be too big. He pulls it back off and, for the heck of it, tries it on himself, and finds it fits perfectly. Being a little salty about this, Tallahassee says, "It's not like these are Elvis' actual shoes," when Columbus notes a card on the display that reads, "ELVIS' ACTUAL SHOES." Irked, Tallahassee walks off, while Columbus puts the other shoe on. Walking into a white-painted room with a mannequin of Elvis, Tallahassee happily walks over to a piano
and starts tickling the ivories while singing I've Never Been to Spain. Elsewhere, Wichita searches for Little Rock, while Columbus finds another pair of Elvis' shoes but decides to leave them alone. Suddenly, Tallahassee's solo concert is interrupted when the piano's lid gets slammed on his fingers and he's knocked to the floor, as a woman appears over him and points a gun in his face. She demands he start talking, and while he initially gives her attitude, when she pulls down the hammer, he quickly introduces himself, and she, in turn, calls
herself Nevada. Wichita and Columbus walk in and she turns the gun on them, as he tries to stop her from shooting them. She asks Columbus point-blank why he's wearing Elvis' shoes and he simply answers, "Comfort." When Wichita asks, Nevada confirms that Little Rock and Berkeley were there but took off a couple of days before. Much to Tallahassee's irritation, they didn't take the Beast because Berkeley felt it was too "establishment," to which he growls, "Oh, I will kill that little fart-snack myself." That's when Nevada tells
Tallahassee that she came very close to "Murraying" him, revealing it's a term that's been coined for people who are killed because they're mistaken for zombies. Columbus gets very nervous and twitchy, first acting like he doesn't know who Bill Murray is and then that he didn't hear that's how he died; Nevada, appearing to suspect something, tells him she'll kill the person who shot Murray if she ever meets him. She then tells them about how Berkeley mentioned that he and Little Rock were going to a safe haven called Babylon, and you get a shot of them driving down the road as he goes on about it, with a bunch of zombies chasing after their car.
After bonding over their mutual love of Elvis (the story that Tallahassee tells about impressing his classmates with his Elvis impersonation is said to be a true story about the moment when Woody Harrelson decided he wanted to be an actor), Tallahassee and Nevada proceed to have a nice night together. The next day, Little Rock and Berkeley arrive at Babylon, where they're made to give up any weapons they have on them, which are then melted down into peace medallions everyone wears around their necks. Those who run the place
then offer to take them up to the top of the tower, adding, "I hope you like stairs," and, after Little Rock is given her own medallion, we then see just how big the place is in that big, pull-back shot. Back at the Hound Dog, Nevada awakens in a big, heart-shaped bed to find Tallahassee standing over her, wearing an Elvis outfit he took from the mannequin in the piano room. Just as he's about to woo her, he hears a horn play the first few bars of Dixie outside and rush downstairs to see what's going on. Walking out the front door with Columbus and Wichita, Tallahassee can't believe
his bad luck when he sees that a big, honking monster truck has rolled up on top of the Beast. He angrily yells at the driver, "Hey, motherfucker, that's my ride!", to which he responds, "Oh, ho, my apologies, tiny Elvis! Just didn't expect anything to be parked in my driveway!" He climbs down from the truck and he and Tallahassee have a tense face-off, where he tells Tallahassee that he uses the driveway when he's in town. Nevada, who's also come outside, warns them that if they keep it up,
they'll never be able to use her "driveway" ever again. As they continue arguing, Columbus and Wichita both note how alike these two guys are, when another guy climbs out of the monster truck, revealing himself to be a lot like Columbus, although Columbus himself is oblivious to it. The guy introduces himself as Flagstaff and the other guy as Albuquerque, and he and Columbus exchange mutual greetings. To drive his similarity to Columbus even further home, Flagstaff mentions
he has commandments for staying alive and he and Columbus start comparing them with his rules, the various captions appearing above them and interacting with them in various ways. As you might expect, a lot of them are very similar: "cardio"/"cardiovascular fitness," "sunscreen"/"shade," "double tap"/"confirm your kill," and so on. Nevada then asks the two why they've come back so soon and Albuquerque says they ran into a bunch of "Bolts," which is their
term for the T-800 zombies. Columbus and Flagstaff bond even more over that name, as Flagstaff says
Terminator 2 is his favorite movie, while Columbus says it's his second favorite (his first is
Fantasia). Albuquerque proceeds to say the "Bolts" are pushing east because their food sources are running out. Tallahassee is still mad about the Beast getting crushed and as they walk back in, Albuquerque jokes about calling AAA, and if you watch very closely, you can see the "Double Tap" caption flop to the ground.
In the jungle room, Tallahassee and Albuquerque continue taking shots at each other, even comparing their respective sidekicks (both of whom toss the liquor they act like they're about to drink out of their glasses), when they hear some banging outside. They rush to a nearby window and see several T-800s attacking the monster truck. Tallahassee grabs his gun and says, "Time to nut up or shut up," which Albuquerque mocks for being very 2009. He then stops him and Columbus, saying, "You don't send a boy to do a man's job," as
well as cites that they should take care of them since they led them there. With that logic, Tallahassee is more than happy to let them have at it, and he and Flagstaff head outside (on the way out, Flagstaff says, "Hasta la vista, baby," and cocks his assault rifle). The others watch them run outside and begin shooting down the zombies. Tallahassee asks, "Anybody find those two uniquely annoying?", to which Wichita responds, "
Uniquely? No." He then says he's not optimistic about their chances, with Columbus noting they
completely ignored Rule #52, "Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help." Once the zombies have been taken care of, Albuquerque and Flagstaff come back inside, gloating about how well they did and also mentioning how those specific zombies are getting meaner and meaner. Heading back to the jungle room, Albuquerque walks to the bar and sits down, talking about a nice snapshot he got of Flagstaff that's going in their scrapbook and complimenting his sidekick in how well he did.
Even Tallahassee has to admit they did good and Columbus mentions how cool it is that Albuquerque's letting him wear his cowboy hat. But, as she's preparing drinks behind the bar, Nevada notices a certain large, red mark right below Albuquerque's left wrist. Seeing it, he tries to shrug it off as just being a tattoo, but nobody's buying it. Despite his clearly sweating and his skin becoming blotchy, Albuquerque tries to tell them it's no big deal, when they hear the unmistakable
sound of internal gurgling, followed by him trying to hold back vomit, which comes spewing out of his clenched mouth. Everyone jumps out of their seats, with Tallahassee pulling out his gun, and even then, he tries to shrug it off, saying it's just due to nerves from the fight. Flagstaff states the obvious about him being infected, when Albuquerque reveals he got bitten twice. Flagstaff denies this, insisting to Columbus that he never gets bit, and Columbus is about to believe him, when he then blows chunks, looks back up at Columbus with the unmistakable dark eyes of a zombie, and lunges at him.
This leads into the two-minute fight scene that looks as if it were done all in one shot. Wichita clocks Flagstaff in the side of the head with the butt of her rifle and Columbus grabs him and pulls him away from her when he tries to attack her. He chases Columbus out past the bar, where Tallahassee is fighting with a fully zombified Albuquerque. He gets slammed down on the bar but manages to turn Albuquerque around, while Nevada tries to shoot him. When she does, Albuquerque knocks her gun away and lunges for her, but Tallahassee manages
to yank him back. He pulls back to hit him, only to knock Columbus in the face when Flagstaff chases him back into the room, and runs out with Albuquerque hot on his heels. Nevada fires shots at both zombies, managing to hit Flagstaff and knock him over a foot stool when he dives at Columbus, who's on the floor, but it doesn't stop him. Columbus yells that Flagstaff is breaking ten commandments and is chased into the lobby, where Albuquerque gets Tallahassee up against the wall. Tallahassee is able to turn him around and slam him against the
wall, yelling, "This is for what you did to the Beast!", before kneeing him in the gut. Albuquerque comes at him again and Tallahassee holds him back, getting back up against the wall next to the beaded entrance to the piano room, where Columbus is holding back Flagstaff by ensnaring his head in a curtain. They ask how each other's doing and they both answer, "Bad!" Tallahassee kicks Albuquerque away, while Columbus is chased down another hallway, trying to use a cardboard cutout of Elvis to fend Flagstaff
off, which doesn't work very well. He runs into another room and heads to the saloon doors leading back into the jungle room, when Tallahassee and Albuquerque come smashing through some shelves on its right side. Columbus climbs up onto a pool table, only for Flagstaff to swipe his feet out from under him. Flagstaff pins him to the table, trying to get at him, and Albuquerque does the same to Tallahassee. Again, Columbus asks Tallahassee how he's doing,
leading to this exchange, "Still bad! You wanna switch?!" "Switch?! How would that benefit me?!" Columbus grabs a pool ball and shoves it into Flagstaff's mouth, while Tallahassee kicks Albuquerque off him. Tallahassee then grabs a pool-stick and smacks it across Flagstaff's back as he continues pinning Columbus to the table. This allows Columbus to get off the table, only to then see that his shoe's coming off. He hops in place, trying to push it back on, when Flagstaff charges at him
and smashes him through the shelves on the other side of the saloon doors. Holding Flagstaff back, Columbus yells for help and Wichita comes running in with a shotgun, but is afraid to shoot for fear of hitting Columbus. Columbus grabs a piece of the broken woodwork on the floor and smashes Flagstaff in the head, while Tallahassee comes running into the room, holding up Albuquerque, whom he slams to the floor. Nevada shoots again but misses, and Columbus frantically yells for his
own gun, only to be chased back into the lobby and into the piano room. Nevada shoots Flagstaff with a six-shooter, though it doesn't stop him, and then unloads it into Albuquerque. Tallahassee says he can handle it and she tells him she has to reload anyway. Tallahassee flips Albuquerque over, kicks him in the chest, grabs a nearby urn and smashes his head repeatedly, and grabs a guitar from an Elvis statue's hand and finally finishes him off with another smash to the head. Columbus comes running in, yelling, "Don't swing!
Don't swing! Swing!", and then dives to the floor, only for Flagstaff to do the same and dodge the guitar. As Columbus tries to hold Flagstaff back, Tallahassee swings his guitar again but clips Columbus in the face instead. Finally, the madness ends when Nevada points her gun at Flagstaff's forehead, says, "Hasta la vista, baby," and blasts him. Tallahassee tosses away the guitar, sways like Elvis, and says, "Thank you. Thank you very much," while Wichita says, "Those guys were dicks!"
Tallahassee helps Columbus up and compliments him, but unlike Albuquerque with Flagstaff, doesn't let him wear his hat. He then asks if that qualifies as Zombie Kill of the Year but Columbus tells us that honor goes to Mateo Bianchi in Pisa, Italy. We then see Mateo's kill, as he sets up three mannequins and yells in Italian at some zombies nearby, pretending to be the female mannequin, saying she's a helpless tourist with two defenseless children. The zombies instantly go for the mannequins and start munching
them, while Mateo walks over to the side of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and topples it over using a jack. It crushes the zombies completely and Mateo yells, "Go fuck yourselves!" in Italian before walking away in triumph, as Columbus exclaims, "Bravisimmo, Mateo!" Back with the characters, the trio prepares to head out, planning on taking Albuquerque's monster truck, Big Fat Death. Columbus then suggests Tallahassee ask Nevada to come along but Tallahassee, after saying he doesn't want to pick up any more baggage, says she
wouldn't be the type to do so, anyway. He turns around and finds Nevada standing there. She says, "Stay safe, Sunshine State," and he, in turn, walks up to her and they share a very passionate goodbye kiss, which Wichita has to cut short by reminding them that Little Rock is still out there. Nevada then tells him, "If, by some miracle, you don't die, there's always room in my driveway," and hands him a ring with the letters TCB on it. Tallahassee concurs, "I'd best stay alive." He then rejoins his
friends and prepares to move the monster truck off the remains of the Beast so they can drive it. Confident that he can do it, he climbs up into the driver's seat and manages to back it off the Beast, only to slam into one of the big, neon guitars at the head of the parking lot. He puts it in Drive, only to slam into the other guitar, and then, cursing in frustration, he backs up and tries to swing around, only to hit the side of the Beast and knock a piece of paneling off. He yells "fuck" repeatedly,
smacking the steering wheel, and when Wichita suggests he leave a note for Nevada, he glares at her and retorts, "That's
your department." Unable to bear having to drive the minivan again, Columbus offers to take over for him. He can't help but smash the passenger side-view mirror before climbing in.
As they talk while heading down the road, Wichita suggests that, when she showed back up at the White House for guns and ammo, it was a cover for her coming back to him. But, just as they're about to reconcile, they're surprised to see the ice cream truck from before driving in front of them, and are even more shocked when they see who's behind the wheel: a completely human and still-living Madison. Wichita and Tallahassee are more shocked that she's not dead than anything else, while Madison, in her excitement over seeing them
again, nearly swerves over the double-line and hits them. After a cut, she's riding with them in the passenger seat, while Wichita is now in the back with Tallahassee, as they learn that Madison suffered from an allergic reaction to the nuts in the trail mix, that she was trying to tell Columbus that but couldn't make it clear, and that Columbus shot over her in an attempt to scare her away. She starts prattling on like before, describing how she realized the ice cream truck was a freezer on
wheels, and is even surprised herself when she reacts to one of Wichita's jabs with a sarcastic retort. They drive on through the night and have various conversations: they suggest they all escape to an island (Madison suggests they go to Temptation Island), Madison nearly falls asleep at the wheel, and the next day, as Wichita drives, she and Columbus talk about the band Portishead, while in the back, Tallahassee deals with Madison lying all over him in her sleep. Columbus narrates, "It was obvious to me that Wichita and I were meant to be together, which is why Madison's return could not have been worse timing. Of course, I was glad she wasn't a zombie, but couldn't she have just gone back to her mall fridge?"
Columbus is then shown driving, when they come upon the tower of Babylon and he points it out to everyone. As they pull up outside the gates, Columbus narrates that he was happy to have possibly found Little Rock, as well as their possible permanent home. When they disembark, Tallahassee tosses a grenade inside the minivan, which promptly explodes, startling and then shocking everyone, as he says he's just enjoying the little things. The woman at the gate tells them how there are
no guns allowed inside but Tallahassee is unwilling to obey that rule. When she refuses to back down, Columbus suggests he wait in the car, and after he glances at the burning minivan, Wichita asks him if he wants to see Little Rock or not. Swallowing his pride, he gives them the weapons and they're allowed in. It isn't long before they find Little Rock as she sits with a group of people and when she sees them, she's more shocked than happy, especially when they all hug her. That's when Berkeley pops up and, after guessing who they all
are, is oblivious to how close he comes to getting a beat-down when Tallahassee realizes who he is and has to be restrained. After they drag him away, Little Rock tells them she doesn't think they're going to fit in, although Madison doesn't have a problem with it. Little Rock then returns to the drum circle she was sitting in and Columbus tells us that, now that he could see that Little Rock was safe and with people her own age, there was nothing stopping him from hitting the road. That
night, he says his goodbyes, telling them he's heading west, although Columbus has to point out which direction is west. He gives Wichita a shoulder squeeze, shakes Columbus' hand, is content to just return a peace sign to Madison, and, like he did in the first movie, gives a really awkward goodbye when he says, "Keep your tits dry," with Columbus saying he would have preferred him to repeat the line from Babe he said before. He hugs Little Rock and tells her, "Don't do nothin' I wouldn't not do... You get what I'm saying," to which she says, "Not really, no." Madison starts sobbing and Tallahassee looks like he's about to pat her on the back, but decides to just head off. Madison says she'll never forget him, only to say she can't remember his name, and when Columbus tells it to her again, she calls him "Sally Tally!"
Driving a pickup truck the people at Babylon likely gave him, Tallahassee heads down the road, singing Home on the Range, when he slams into a zombie. Said zombie gets back on his feet, revealing himself to be a T-800, and joins a big swarm of them that are heading straight for Babylon, attracted by the fireworks exploding above the tower. Tallahassee pops the truck in reverse, turns around, and heads back down the road as fast as he can. Back up on the roof of the tower, everyone's chilling out and having fun,
when Tallahassee comes running in and warns the others of what's going on, yelling for everyone else to stop the fireworks and turn off the music they're playing. To make matters worse, they confirm that they did indeed melt down all of the weapons, and Berkeley stupidly pretends to have a plan, only to reveal he's joking, which prompts Little Rock to officially break up with him. Tallahassee attempts to rally the others but the guy he calls "Civil War General", due to his long beard, reveals he knows how to fight, "Poverty, sexism, and
social injustice," but nothing physical. Another guy simply suggests they run for it but Columbus says he's tired of running. Tallahassee decides they have only one course of action, which Civil War General believes is "group sex" (he's obsessed with that), only to correct himself and say they'll fight the zombies. Tallahassee tells him, "You'll be the first to die, but I like your enthusiasm," and shows everyone his battle plan, which is to kill most of the zombies in the main yard with exploding
biodiesel and then form a gauntlet to mop up any stragglers. As the zombies approach, the group rolls a tank for the biodiesel inside the gates, attach fire-hoses to its valves, Wichita paints "Hi There!" on its side, and when the fuel is pumped into the tank, she pokes small holes in the hoses, effectively turning them into long fuses. They knock down the tin-panels that make up the top section of the wall around the gates and set up a spinning wheel with sparklers
attached to it. A red flare shoots up into the sky and they're warned it means the zombies are approaching. Tallahassee, of course, says, "Time to nut up or shut up," although Wichita says he needs a new line. So, he comes up with one: "Let's kick some dicks." Wichita lights a fuse leading to the wheel on the wall and the four of them light up some torches, as the wheel begins spinning, with the sparklers going off.
The zombies spot the sparklers and head right for them. When the group hears they're almost there, they rush to their positions, using their torches to light the fuel-soaked hoses leading to the tank. The zombies reach the outer wall and start scrambling up it to the sparklers, while the group runs up onto a platform for cover. They watch as the zombies quickly climb over the wall and start filling the space around the tank. Once they're all around the edges of the flames leading up to and engulfing the tank, the others wait for it to explode. But, after a
few seconds, it seems as though the plan isn't going to work, when it suddenly combusts, creating a massive fireball that sends zombies flying everywhere. Ecstatic that it worked, they prepare to deal with the stragglers, only to be faced with more and more zombies that climb over the wall and come straight at them. They're totally surrounded within seconds and, despite their attempts to fend them off with tools like shovels, rakes, and pickaxes, it's obvious they're hopelessly outmatched. Realizing they're doomed, the four of
them come together and embrace, telling each other how much they love them and wait for the end to come, while Berkeley and Madison watch helplessly from the roof of the tower. Suddenly, they hear a horn honk the first bars of Dixie and look as Big Fat Death comes roaring over the wall. The monster truck lands in the midst of the zombies, crushing one and sending others flying, as Wichita yells, "Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!", and Tallahassee exclaims, "Thank God for rednecks!"
The truck swerves around, plowing into many zombies, and pulls up alongside the platform. Nevada lets them in and then drives on, with the zombies in hot pursuit. In the back, Columbus, Little Rock, and Wichita strap in, but Tallahassee is reluctant to do so in the passenger seat, until he nearly gets flung out when Nevada swerves the truck to take out more zombies. The truck swerves around in a big circle, again and again, taking out zombies but also threatening to
make Columbus sick, to the point where he asks the others to roll down their windows, a request they all deny. With zombies hanging off the truck, Nevada zooms forward, running over scores of them, and then slides around and heads straight for a dirt ramp up against the wall. Columbus warns her not to but Tallahassee tells her to go for it and she punches it, hitting the ramp so hard that the truck gets flung up into the air, does a complete flip and flings off the zombies hanging onto it,
before landing back down, crushing more underneath it. That amazing stunt prompts Tallahassee to tell Nevada, "Oh, my God, you are sexy!" She drives on, running down some more zombies, when the back right wheel drives over the end of one of the hoses and a small bit of remaining fuel explodes. The truck tilts over onto its left side and falls over completely. They smash their way out and head for the entrance to the tower, when they find their way blocked by several zombies. It looks as though they're trapped, when the residents drop down objects that smash into the zombies, an example of Rule #52: Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help. The group rushes through the tower's doors, with those up above managing to take out a few more zombies with their bombing.
Benefiting from cardio, the group runs up the tower's stairwell, Nevada trying to stave off the pursuing zombies with shots from her six-shooter, but she quickly runs out of bullets. Staying behind, Tallahassee smashes the glass containing a fire-axe and starts using it, getting one zombie right in the cranium. He yells for the others to get in position for the gauntlet and that he'll hold them off, at one point sending an oil drum tumbling down the stairs, yelling, "Donkey Kong, motherfuckers!" He comes tearing through the double-doors leading to the
roof, with the zombies right behind him. He leads them through the gauntlet, the residents holding up wooden panels, gates, and other objects as shields, with Columbus and the others making up the end of it. Columbus tells us, "You can't write the history of Zombieland without telling the story of one momentous day. The day one free man made the ultimate sacrifice, and paid respect to the Blackfoot ancestors he may, or may not, have had." Tallahassee leads the zombies to the edge of the roof and, as Columbus says, "The day he led the
first, the last, the only great American zombie jump," he dives for a crane hook hanging just outside it and grabs onto it, as the zombies stampede themselves over the edge. Tallahassee yells when the hook swings him back towards them and they try to grab him, but he manages to kick one and gain momentum to swing back away from them. The last few dozen zombies finally stampede across the roof and fall off the edge, as Tallahassee exclaims, "Zombie Kill of the Year?!", and
Columbus narrates, "Century. Only one problem... Uh, well, okay, two." Those problems are a couple of straggler zombies, specifically a cop handcuffed to a prisoner, who come running, jump off the edge, and grab onto Tallahassee's leg. The others rush to his aid, as he tries to kick the biting cop zombie off. He yells for them to throw something and Columbus grabs a hacky sack and throws it, only to hit Tallahassee in the balls. He then warns that he's losing his grip, and the zombie cop goes in for the
bite on his leg, when he's suddenly shot right through the head and he and the prisoner zombie plummet downwards. Turns out the shot came from Little Rock, using Elvis' Colt .45.; Tallahassee remarks, "Long live the King." Everyone then links arms and reach out, Columbus managing to grab Tallahassee's cowboy boot and pull him back onto the roof.
Columbus and Tallahassee embrace happily, and the latter then hugs Little Rock, who says the gun was her favorite Christmas present ever but she forgot she had it because she smoked a lot of weed. Columbus then gets a very pleasant surprise when Wichita accepts his marriage proposal, saying, "Zombieland or not, we're meant to be together." Madison gives Columbus back the Hope Diamond and he nervously gets down on one knee and slips it onto Wichita's finger, after which they kiss. Tallahassee tells Nevada he's going to walk "that
little spitfuck" down the aisle, as she tells him she's from "Washoe County, Nevada," and he realizes she's talking about Reno. They kiss as well, and Little Rock, seeing Berkeley and Madison eying each other, tells them to go for it and they do. Suddenly, another zombie comes shambling in, but he dumbly walks right to the edge and falls off, proving he was a Homer. The crisis over, everyone begins celebrating and the fireworks start up again, bursting into images of weed and a smiling face. After that, the group, Nevada included, are driving the road in Elvis' 1955 Fleetwood Series 60.
Columbus suggests they head home, but when Tallahassee asks where that is, he answers, "I think we're already there." He narrates, "'Cause if our adventures had taught us about anything, it was home. Wichita didn't need to be afraid of it, I didn't need to keep looking for it. 'Cause home isn't a place. It's the people you're with. I guess that's why they're called your 'homies.' And my homies are pretty fucking awesome." As they drive off in the sunset, with a "JUST MARRIED" card on the back
and cans trailing behind them, as well as a lone zombie chasing after them, Columbus says, "So, 'till next time, this is Columbus, Ohio, on behalf of Wichita, Little Rock, Reno, and Tallahassee, saying, 'Hasta la vista, baby.' That one's for you, Flagstaff." The movie appears to end, when Columbus interrupts Woody Harrelson's rendition of Burning Love over the credits: "Oh, hey! Yeah, sorry! Um, uh, one more thing. I'm still actually feeling a little guilty about what Nevada said. You know, about, uh, 'Murraying' a certain you-know-who? Yeah, my bad. I blew a hole through the finest comic actor of our generation. But, I would love to make it up to you, to all of you, and for that, we gotta go back to 2009."
We then get a couple of title cards that read, Z-LAND DAY ZERO, and cut to the interior of a building where a press junket for
Garfield 3: Flabby Tabby is about to proceed with Bill Murray. Murray is asked some questions about why he would do a third Garfield movie and when asked how many of his nine lives he feels he's used as an actor, he figures six since he's done three Garfields. Everyone then tries to get him to do a hairball and, after some prodding, he reluctantly does so, acting like he's hacking and
coughing. At one point, Al Roker gets up and takes a selfie with Murray while they both do the hairball. But, after he takes the picture, Roker continues hacking and coughing, until he suddenly vomits everywhere. Murray asks if they can get a baby-wipe for him, when he starts chasing after a woman who's also in the room. While he's distracted, Murray grabs the folding metal chair he was sitting on and, after telling Roker he's a big fan, clocks him right in the face with it. He decides to get out and the
cameraman, Tim, joins him. On the way downstairs, Murray talks about the way Roker behaved, and when they get down to the lobby, they find the building in complete chaos. Murray says, "Sometimes it feels like you against the world. I think it is!" Right as he says that, a zombie comes charging in, grabs Tim, and flings him to the world. Instead of biting into him, the zombie roars at Murray, who smacks him with the chair. He then uses the chair to defend himself against a
zombie who comes at him, smashes a glass over a zombie attacking a woman, and knocks another female zombie off her feet with the chair. When threatened by yet another one, he nonchalantly takes some plates from the craft services table and smashes them on either side of her head. He then grabs a metal tray, when he's approached by a woman who says she's a fan, only for her to be tackled to the ground and bitten into. Murray proceeds to smash that zombie with the tray and, after proclaiming, "I ain't afraid of no ghosts," clobbers another one that charges at him in the face with it. Finally, a zombified Lili Estefan comes at him but he smashes a billboard for
Garfield 3 over her head and calmly walks out, murmuring, "I hate Mondays."
Composer David Sardy is another member of the original Zombieland team who came back for the sequel but, like that movie, the actual score isn't the most memorable to me. I definitely remember the sleazy-sounding, pseudo-porn music that plays when Madison and Columbus do it, and the western-flavored, final stand music that was heard in the first movie's climax is repeated here for when Tallahassee stampedes the zombies over the edge of the tower's roof, but other than that, the music serves as little more than background noise, evoking the necessary emotion for a scene but not sticking in your head afterward. Like with the first movie, the soundtrack is far more memorable, with songs like Metallica's Master of Puppets, Free Bird, Kenny Loggins' I'm Alright, and Woody Harrelson singing Burning Love, as well as the more classical and traditional tunes used like Hail to the Chief, Dixie, and La donna e mobile, which is used for the Leaning Tower scene.
If you're a fan of
Zombieland, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't at least enjoy
Zombieland; Double Tap. It has everything you'd want in a sequel to
Zombieland: the entire main cast returning, Ruben Fleischer returning to direct and bringing back the same style and visual flair, the sense of humor, the rules for survival, the heart, another cool soundtrack, and, most importantly, the sense of fun, only now on a bigger scale, with some new characters and a lot more gore, most of which it also pulls off quite well. However, you
should also temper your expectations with the knowledge that the humor is often much more meta, slapsticky, and cartoonish here, the character of Little Rock is offscreen for a good chunk of the movie, the music score is pretty forgettable again, and the movie tends to redo a lot of the same elements and story beats from the first, sometimes at the expense of some characters, and doesn't run with any story elements or plot-points you expect to be significant. All in all, it is another fun ride and you should satisfy those who come to it, but don't expect it to be absolutely on par with the first.
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