Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

When I was a member of a horror podcast's message board and website starting for a good while starting in 2009, I often heard of various horror movies that hit it big on the festival circuit but didn't receive much of a mainstream release, such as Hatchet and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. I'm not sure exactly when I first heard of Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, but I think it was on a YouTube video where someone mentioned it and showed off the DVD or Blu-Ray of it, and I'm sure the aforementioned podcast discussed it at one point as well. I didn't hear many details about the movie except that it featured Robert Englund turning into a monster and made use of practical effects to great success, and other than a screenshot in the book, Rue Morgue Magazine's 200 Alternative Horror Films You Need To See (which I completely forgot about for years afterward), which I got for Christmas in 2012, it rarely crossed my mind. I didn't see the film itself until the late spring of 2020, when I found it at McKay's in Chattanooga. Happy to finally be able to go somewhere following the coronavirus lockdown, and eager to get some new movies, I decided to take a chance when I came upon a used Blu-Ray copy of it. When I watched it, two things hit me: one, that Blu-Ray was absolutely bare bones, as it just played the movie on a loop with no menus at all, and two, the movie itself was... okay. It wasn't spectacular and didn't absolutely bowl me over, but it was good enough to where I was like, "Alright, I killed an hour and a half there." I liked the character of Jack Brooks, I enjoyed watching Robert Englund (as always), the monster effects and gore were fantastic, and I liked the overall idea, but, that said, I didn't think it reached its full potential and the humor didn't always land for me. I do get why it became a cult film, as it's the type of movie that was practically destined to be one, but while it would have been interesting to see what could have been done with a sequel, it's not surprising to me that one never happened.

When he was a young kid, Jack Brooks witnessed his parents and little sister's deaths at the hands of a monster when they were out camping. Since then, he's harbored a lot of repressed rage that comes out in violent, random outbursts and now, in his twenties and working as a plumber, his life is a more dysfunctional mess than ever. He's stuck with a nagging, bitchy girlfriend, has been enrolled in a night school science class he's almost always late for, and still has hot blasts of anger that aren't being eased by his therapy sessions. One night, his teacher, Prof. Crowley, enlists him to fix the pipes in the old house he's recently purchased. While doing so, Jack accidentally awakens an ancient evil buried on the property, one which proceeds to influence Crowley into digging it up completely. When he does, he finds a wooden crate full of bones and a black, beating heart that forces itself down his throat. Afterward, Crowley develops a voracious appetite and becomes a gassy, vomiting glutton with an increasingly nasty disposition. Meanwhile, Jack, while trying to get a replacement for the main line's valve, learns from old Howard at the hardware store that Crowley's house was once owned by his uncle, Emmet, a globe-trotting researcher. One of the many artifacts he picked up in his travels was a black heart in a glass case he found in Japan, said to be that of a demon that had managed to make its way to Earth. Although the demon was slain, the heart was kept as a trophy, and its evil lived on within it. Like Crowley, the heart possessed Emmet, turning him into a ravenous, cruel monster that eventually attacked and bit off Howard's hand. Howard managed to kill him, placed his body in a crate, and buried it in the backyard, but the heart lived on. Though he's not sure what to make of this story, Jack is faced with the hideous truth when, during class one night, Crowley transforms into a massive, tentacled monster that infects and transforms several of the students into demons themselves. Now Jack, knowing that his anger issues stem from having been unable to save his family as a kid, must confront his demons head-on in order to save as many of the students as he can.

The movie was the feature debut of Canadian-born filmmaker, Jon Knautz, who, before this, had directed short films such as Apt. 310, Still Life (which is what convinced Robert Englund to agree to do the film), and Moment of Truth, mostly for his production company, Brookstreet Pictures, which he formed with his friend, Trevor Matthews, who stars here as the title character. Since Jack Brooks, where he proved he could do a lot with a low budget of just $2.5 million, Knautz has directed other horror films like 2010's The Shrine, 2014's Girl House, 2015's Goddess of Love, and 2018's The Cleaning Lady, as well as other short films like Blue Jay and Viper, though none of them have made as much of a mark in horror and cult film circles (and, I'll admit, I'd never even heard of them until I looked up Knautz's filmography).

One of the movie's biggest successes is how it manages to make the main character of Jack Brooks (Trevor Matthews) a truly likable guy, which could have easily not been the case, given his hotheaded nature. When you first really meet Jack in the film, it initially seems like he's going to be impossible to care for, as he barges into his counselor's office without an appointment and, while all seems good at first, proceeds to go on this angry tirade about how he busted his hand when he punched the owner of a Chinese restaurant in the face after the guy yelled at him when their toilet, which he'd just worked on, exploded. He also blows up directly at his counselor, Silverstein, saying the breathing exercises he suggested didn't work and that he smashed his toaster in the process. But, despite this and another outburst he has at Silverstein not too long afterward, where he screams at him over the methods he suggests for calming himself down in order to reduce his anger, you realize that Jack isn't actually a bad guy; rather, he's someone who was given a rotten lot in life, as he's not only stuck with Eve, an aggravating, self-centered bitch of a girlfriend who blames all of her own problems on him, but she's also enrolled him in a night school science class that doesn't do anything for him. He's shown to actually be a pretty decent guy in how he agrees to help Prof. Crowley with the problems he's having with his house's water pipes, going as far as to order a new valve for the main line and not charge him for it, and is also nice enough to pick up Kristy's calculator when she drops it at one point. Also, he only explodes when he's under a lot of stress, is frustrated about something, or when someone pushes him to his limit, as another student, John, does at one point, with the latter being the only one he straight up hits, as he wouldn't keep his hands off of him or get out of his face, even after being warned.

And then, of course, there's the fact that we know from the beginning why Jack is such a mess: when he was a young kid, he watched his family get ripped apart and eaten by a vicious, monstrous troll in the woods. Over the years, his being laughed at for claiming a monster killed his family has made him question what really happened, but the root of his anger has always been a self-hatred for running away and not doing anything to help. Silverstein tells him that, at some point, he's going

to have to come to terms with what happened, and Jack gets his opportunity when Prof. Crowley turns into a disgusting monster during class one night. At first, Jack, after failed attempts to help and save some of the students, tries to flee with Eve, but while driving away, his van's radio plays Bobby Darin's Beyond the Sea, the song his family was listening to when they were attacked. This brings back those memories and, this time, Jack decides not to run away. After making Eve get out of the van, he drives back to the school, loads up with all the makeshift weapons he can get, and marches inside, taking on both the monster Crowley and the students he's made into his demonic minions. He proves himself to be quite adept at laying the smackdown on monsters and, despite some close-calls, manages to defeat them all and save the students that hadn't been turned or devoured. You then learn that, since then, Jack has devoted his life to seeking out and killing monsters, starting with the troll that killed his family, and is now currently helping a village in the jungle deal with a cyclops-like creature.

As Prof. Crowley, Robert Englund not only acts as the big draw for horror fans but, unlike most of these situations, his presence isn't merely stunt casting, as he actually has a significant part in the film. He plays Crowley as your typical intellectual, coming off as somewhat quirky and geeky in how much he enjoys the chemistry lessons he gives to the class and his tendency to describe things in overly scientific terms (he describes a clog in his pipes as "carbon residue," for instance), while also being a likable, kindly guy overall. However, Crowley made the mistake of buying an old house on Watson Road, one that has a problem with its pipes. When he gets Jack to come by and see if he can fix the problem, the two of them unknowingly unearth something that later takes possession of Crowley, manipulating him into going out in the rain and digging up the ground. Although he wakes up the next morning as himself, Crowley's curiosity when he spies the hole he dug gets the better of him and he continues digging until he uncovers an old crate containing bones and a beating black heart that forces its way into his body. When he comes to afterward, Crowley becomes very slovenly and gassy, constantly eating just about anything he can find, to the point where he even vomits in the middle of class, as well as just acting weird and not completely in control of his faculties. His demeanor takes an especially horrific change when, after he runs out of meat at his home, he attacks and eats his own dog, Waldo. Everything comes to a head when the ancient demon that has possessed Crowley transforms his body into a huge, bloated, tentacled monster that takes sadistic delight in either eating the students or turning them into his demon minions. While Crowley seems to recognize Jack when he confronts him at the end, he still attempts to kill him, but Jack ultimately comes out on top.

Describing Jack's girlfriend, Eve (Rachel Skarsten), as a bitch and a half would be a big understatement. Unsurprisingly, she's a big chunk of his problems, as she enrolls him in the night school science class, even though it does nothing for him and he couldn't care less about it, does nothing but criticize every... single... thing he does, and acts like an entitled, bratty, petulant child who blames him for her own problems. Whenever he throws her bitchiness back at her, she gets this shocked, lips pursed, "How dare you!", look on her face; she expects him to basically wait on her hand and foot and gets aggravated at him when he forgets to do something as "important" as drive her to night class, leading her to ask her dad to do it, which she says is embarrassing for her; she openly flirts with and shows interest in John right in front of him; and then, at the beginning of the third act, has the nerve to say that he never thinks about her. That's probably her worst moment of all, as she tells him he has no idea the problems he causes for her and how it adds to the "stuff" she has going on in her life, which she says includes school, watching her figure, and learning how to cook. And then, she brings up the concept of them possibly breaking up and he says, "Well, if that's what you want," leading to her getting mad at him and saying, "Are you breaking up with me?" It's a wonder that, when Prof. Crowley proceeds to turn into a monster and attack the class, Jack doesn't leave Eve to her fate. She never stops being an insufferable, critical nag during their attempt to escape, as she dumps on everything Jack does, yells at an injured girl who's in pain to shut up, and continues to scream at Jack as they drive away from the school. When Jack's memories come back to him and he realizes what he has to do, he stands up to Eve, screaming at her to get out of the van, and leaves her behind as he heads back to confront the monsters.

While Eve is a bitch, John (James A. Woods) is a shallow, annoying stoner who doesn't know when to shut up. Although he flirts with Eve in front of Jack, asking her to come over to his place some time and smoke some hash, he seems to mean well when he offers to burn a disc of his notes for Jack  and also when he tries to get him to chill out. The problem is that he just won't let something go but, rather, yammers on and on and on about it, first commenting that Jack is getting "shy" when he turns down his offer about the notes and then later telling him that his attitude is making Eve "not okay," that he can tell he's not okay, and that it's making himself feel not okay, concluding, "It's not okay, okay?" (he must say "not okay" about ten times in that exchange). During that second confrontation, Jack tries to walk away but John follows him, keeps on pushing, ignores warnings for him to leave Jack alone and not touch him, and calls him "Jake," even when Jack has just corrected him. Finally, Jack is pushed to his limit and punches John in the throat, leaving him with a weak, raspy voice for the rest of the film... that is, until Prof. Crowley turns into a monster and makes John the first of his demon cronies.

Howard (David Fox), an old man who works at the local hardware store, at first comes off like a comic character with the usual "elderly" tropes: Jack has to do a lot to wake him up when he's asleep on the job, he doesn't remember talking to Jack at all when they have their second scene together, and when he stands up, you can hear his bones pop and crack loudly. But, when he learns that Jack's been doing a plumbing job on the old house at Watson Road, he warns him that he doesn't want to be messing there, claiming that it's cursed. He's unable to elaborate during their first scene because there's another customer waiting in line behind Jack but, when Jack comes back to get the replacement valve, Howard tells him the story of his Uncle Emmet, the demon heart he collected, and how it possessed him and turned him into a monster. Significantly, he tells him that he had to kill his uncle and buried his body on the property, with the demon heart still beating within him. Jack's reaction of disbelief over the story doesn't sit well with Howard, who angrily rings up the charge for the replacement valve, and he's never seen again afterward.

Silverstein (Daniel Kash), Jack's counselor, has the unenviable task of being the one to bear the brunt of his rages when he comes in for a session, as Jack often directs his anger at him because his methods aren't working for him. At the beginning of the movie, when Jack comes in unannounced, Silverstein is dreading seeing him, and when a simple question about his bandaged hand leads Jack into an angry rant about how he punched out the owner of a Chinese restaurant, Silverstein, afterward, can only throw his pen on his desk and groan, "Jesus!" Their second session doesn't go any better, as Jack blows up at Silverstein when he suggests finding a method of relaxing in order to ease back his anger, berating him for suggesting meditation, channeling his energy into a sport, or yoga and tai chi. But, in their third session, the two of them make some progress when Silverstein makes Jack talk about what happened to his family and he brings up how he feels he shouldn't have run away, even if he was a young kid at the time. With that, he tells Jack he's going to have to find a way to forgive himself, leading into the climax where he decides to take on the monsters and save as many of his fellow students as he can.

Speaking of the other students, there are a couple of stoner sort guys, Pat (Chad Harber) and Trevor (Patrick Henry), and a brainy chick, Janice (Stefanie Drummond), who later comments that she filed a complaint because she doesn't think Prof. Crowley is grading them correctly (possibly out of revenge for him correcting her when she was wrong about sodium's true nature in the first class) and is also one of the students to get turned into a demon, but the only one of any real note is Kristy

(Ashley Bryant), this lovely girl who catches Jack's eye early on. The two of them have a nice moment when they come in for the second class, where Jack picks up Kristy's calculator when she drops it on the floor, only to tell her that he thinks she broke it, and the two of them agree that the class isn't that great. During the climax, she's one of the students whom the Crowley monster holds captive in the classroom, but Jack manages to save her from either being transformed or devoured and kisses her in a manner you would expect from an action hero after he's saved the girl.

Like I said, Jon Knautz proved with this that he knows how to make the most out of a low budget, as Jack Brooks is quite a nice-looking movie. While it does have that kind of bland, generic look that low budget films made up in Canada tend to have, mostly in the scenes set in Silverstein's office and Prof. Crowley's classroom, it compensates by setting most of the story at night, so you don't have the depressing gray, overcast skies you often get in Canada (in fact, the only scene that really looks that way is the

flashback to Jack as a teenager in the opening). What's more, the nighttime exterior scenes and interiors, such as Crowley's house when Jack is trying to fix his pipes and the hardware store, look quite cool and slick, with nice use of darkness and camera angles (case in point, Knautz knows that, when you're shooting in an old, creepy house like Crowley's, you have to do a shot over a banister). The climax in the school looks especially awesome, in how the hallways have that dark, bluish tint to them, while the classroom has a sort

of otherworldly glow to it after Crowley becomes the monster, taking the already white-blue, clinical color scheme of the room and cranking it up to eleven by throwing some green into it. And for actual atmosphere and mood, the flashback to Howard's uncle becoming possessed by the demon's heart is shot in a sepia tone with lots of deep blacks, as well as instances of thunder and lightning that do manage to make it feel a little genuinely creepy and unsettling.

From a design standpoint, I have a feeling they used nothing but real locations they found around Ottawa and, while you don't see much of the area in terms of exteriors, save for Watson Road, the outside of Crowley's house, and parking lot at the school, they manage to lend a typical suburban, township feel to the setting. The most notable location in the film is the aforementioned old house on Watson Road, as it's your typical creepy, upper class place that looks like it should be haunted. You don't see much of it during the actual narrative, save for the downstairs area, where Crowley's office is, and the basement where the main line and pump is, but the place is given a properly creepy look

and feel during the flashback to Howard's childhood, as you see the room where his uncle kept all of his artifacts, including the box containing the demon heart; the dining room, where he learns that his uncle is changing; and you also learn that the basement is where he shot and killed him, as well as that the backyard is where he buried him after putting his body in a large crate. Also, you got to give the filmmakers props for managing to make some area in Ottawa look like a tropical jungle in a rather convincing manner, going as far as to bring in palm trees, big pythons, and camels in order to complete the illusion.

But, the real reason to admire Jack Brooks is because the filmmakers decided to go with good old-fashioned practical effects rather than digital ones, which almost never look good in low-budget, independent films like this. That said, though, while IMDB claims there's absolutely no CGI here at all, I'm sure they used it in shots of the Crowley monster's tentacles slithering out of the classroom and down the halls to grab the students, as some of those shots do look a bit digital. But, otherwise, the effects are realized through

suits, puppetry, animatronics, and makeup, and they look all the better for it. In terms of the actual monsters, the armor-plated, club-wielding cyclops that features in the bookends looks pretty cool, being only humanoid in terms of shape, while otherwise having a reptilian texture to his flesh and a somewhat ape-like head and face, and the same goes for the monster that kills Jack's family in the opening, which looks like a Bigfoot with mange mixed with a werewolf but is referred to as a "troll" (and is actually played Trevor Matthews).

But the best creature in the film is most definitely the big, ugly monster that Prof. Crowley turns into during the third act. This creature is on par with Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi in terms of how impressive his scale is and how much he feels like a character, as he sits in the middle of the classroom, rocking his big, gluttonous body back and forth, glaring at the teenagers he has ensnared in his tentacles, taking delight in picking out which ones he's going to eat or turn into demons

themselves, silencing a girl whose screams get on his nerves, and having funny reaction when Jack comes in and starts kicking ass. Plus, the design itself is what sells it, as it's basically a big blob of flesh with an enormous, teeth-filled mouth (the face looks just enough like Robert Englund to sell it), tentacles emerging from the sides and back that grab its victims, and the ever-beating black, demon heart in its torso. The monster also has a tentacle ending in a white, fleshy pouch that he extends out of his mouth and forces into the mouths of his victims, pumping into them a fluid that

turns them into his minions. The "demonized" students are probably the least impressive monsters in the film, not because their makeup, consisting of pale, boil-covered skin, teeth-filled mouths, and monstrous faces, isn't good, because it is, but because it's very akin to stuff you've seen before in things like the Evil Dead and Demons movies, among others.

Speaking of makeup, when Prof. Crowley first becomes possessed by the demon heart (which is a nicely effective, practical prop in and of itself), he starts to deteriorate physically in a manner somewhat reminiscent of Seth Brundle's in David Cronenberg's The Fly (albeit not as gradual or genuinely horrific). Not only does he become gluttonous, gassy, and disheveled, he seems to start to develop something of a rash, particularly on his forehead and chest, which he often scratches, and at one point, a tentacle bursts out of his side and he promptly removes it (that, in and of itself, is like a deleted scene from The Fly, where an insect leg bursts out of Brundle's side). When you see him in class before he transforms, he looks more haggard and bloated, his skin has become discolored, and there's a pencil stuck to his

forehead. Then, when he starts to really change, his neck and face become really swollen, his eyes turn red, he starts vomiting up a disgusting, dark-colored, sticky substance, and finally, three tentacles burst out of his back and start slithering down the hallways after the students, followed by more that grow in order to replace those that get hacked off. Those tentacles are effectively long and snakey props, but, again, you can tell some CGI was used in the wide shots of them going down the hallways.

And, of course, you get plenty of red stuff, with the movie not pulling any punches in the carnage the troll causes when he massacres Jack's family, tearing out his mom and dad's throats, and you also see him eating something at the end of the movie. There's also a really disturbing moment in the flashback when young Howard finds Emmet eating a dog, before biting off most of Howard's fingers on his left hand. During the climax, you get plenty of gore when the demonized students kill and devour people, as well as when Jack beats

the hell out of them, smashing one's head open with a steel pipe and stabbing another in the gut with a wrench before smashing his head into goo with a couple of tanks, though not before Jack gets a chunk bitten out of his own arm. You also get to see the Crowley monster munching on one kid's head, and during his confrontation with Jack, Jack stabs him with an axe, plunges a sharp piece of wood in another demonized student's neck, blows up the monster's head, hacks off many of his tentacles with an axe, and destroys the demon heart by hacking it up as well.

Like any good horror-comedy, Jack Brooks is quite successful at balancing the gore and ghoulishness with the laughs. While the comedy and instances of humor are, for the most part, fairly funny, the movie never becomes a full-on farce but, at the same time, save for the quite dark backstories of both Jack and Howard, it never takes itself 100% seriously and is meant to be a fun, gory romp with over-the-top monsters. That said, there are instances where the type of humor utilized doesn't land for me. I find Jack's rants at Silverstein and his trials and

tribulations in trying to fix Prof. Crowley's pipes to be really entertaining, but the instances of gross-out humor with Crowley, where he eats and eats to the point where he's gassy and throws up in class, don't appeal to me, as I'm not a fan of that type of humor. I don't mind burp and fart jokes (I'm from the South, after all), and the physical comedy Robert Englund gets up to at some points is fun to watch, but the constant rumbling of Crowley's innards, his

vomiting on the blackboard and smearing it around, before turning around with his face covered in it, repulses me more than it makes it me laugh. Also, the senile humor surrounding Howard in his interactions with Jack at the hardware store doesn't really do it for me either, not because I'm offended but because it's so typical: Howard sleeping so deeply that Jack has to really work to wake him up, his not remembering Jack or the conversation the two of them had the first time, and

his bones cracking loudly when he stands up from his seat. And finally, while the comedy does mesh well with the horror, the moment after Howard tells Jack what happened to his Uncle Emmet, where he says it wasn't easy to dig a six-foot hole with a missing hand and his getting annoyed when Jack is incredulous about what he just told him, does hurt the impact of the story just a little bit.

Those quibbles aside, though, there's nothing that egregiously bad about the movie at all, as it's competently made, well-acted, has a nice concept full of potential, and plenty of practical effects and gore to make any fan of old school horror, like me, happy... and yet, at the end of the day, it just feels kind of average to me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is but there's something about this movie that keeps me from absolutely loving it. It does feel like there's a really great movie in here somewhere but it never completely reaches that potential, which it might have been able to if it had a bit more money behind it or if they were ever able to do a sequel, perhaps a bigger budgeted one, and give it a wider scope. This concept feels like it has a lot to it but this one film was not able to fully unlock it.

Whatever expectations I may have had, I did not at all expect the movie to start in some tropical jungle, with a bunch of shield and spear-wielding natives battling a cyclops monster, but it does, and the natives prove to be severely outmatched. One gets sent flying when the cyclops whacks him with his big club, another is tossed aside into a puddle when he charges at the monster, and another gets smacked upside by the club, which throws him up into the air, and he smashes back down on the ground, before the cyclops grabs and

throws him against a tree. The panting and growling cyclops then scans the natives with his one eye and roars at them, sending them fleeing back to their village, which is in a state of total chaos, with people running about in panic, screaming, and little kids crying. Some of the natives are even praying to an idol of the cyclops, apparently trying to appease their angry deity, while inside a hut, a man is seen preparing himself, wrapping a cloth around a scar on his left arm, when he hears the distant roar of the cyclops.

After the film's title comes up, Jack Brooks starts narrating, talking about how tough growing up was for him, as his teenage self is seen doing laps on a field in a small drizzle. A coach calls him over and, after he's confirmed he's done ten laps, tells him to apologize to another kid who's standing next to him, sobbing. This kid was someone who suffered the brunt of Jack's anger issues and he, reluctantly, tells him he's sorry for whipping the ball at his head. As Jack narrates

about how his anger would build and build until he would snap, we see his teenage self walk into the locker room, where one kid knocks him into a locker and he then trips over a chair. While the others laugh at him, Jack loses it, grabs the chair, and starts smashing it into the floor and then into the front of the lockers. The image freezes and Jack says he wasn't always this way, as the film then flashes back further to when he was a young boy, specifically when he was on a summer camping trip with

his parents and little sister. He talks about how he was a pretty normal kid, until one night when his life changed completely. In the flashback, he and his little sister are dancing by the campfire, imitating their parents, who are doing the same thing, as Bobby Darin's Beyond the Sea plays on the little portable radio. Jack mimics a twirl that his dad did to his mom but his sister, Cindy, who's been wriggling around as he's tried to dance with her, twirls over to the edge of the campsite. When

she stops, she looks down and then slowly lifts her head up, before screaming in terror. As her parents turn to look, something grabs her and pulls her into the woods. Her mom and dad run by a stunned Jack, when the attacker, a monstrous forest troll, leads out of the darkness and tackles the mom to the ground. Jack's dad tries to fight the troll off a couple of times, at one point smacking him with a big piece of wood, but he gets knocked aside, as the troll rips out the mom's throat. Looking up and seeing his terrified son, Jack's dad tries to run for

him but the troll then tackles and rolls on the ground with him, before pinning him. The dad punches the troll several times in the face, following that up by doing the same with a big rock, and he manages to knock him off long enough to yell for his son to run. Jack runs to the treeline, while his dad is grabbed and dragged across the ground, the troll biting into his neck just as he did Jack's mom. Jack watches in absolute horror from behind the tree, when the troll finishes off his dad, looks at Jack, and roars at him, his mouth covered in blood (incidentally, Bobby Darin continues singing through this whole sequence). Jack runs through the woods in terror, as the troll keeps roaring.

With that done, we get to the story proper, as Jack narrates that, by the time he reached his 20's, he realized he needed some therapy. The film transitions to Silverstein's office, when his secretary tells him Jack has shown up without an appointment and Silverstein, despite obviously dreading what might happen, agrees to see him. Jack walks in, saying he was on his way to Wal-Mart and decided to drop in. Initially, everything goes well, as Jack talks about how

he's still working as a plumber, that his girlfriend, Eve, has him taking a night school science class, and that he hasn't lost his temper in a while... before admitting that something happened a couple of days before but that he got through it. Silverstein then asks him what happened to his right hand, which is bandaged up, and when Jack reacts to the question a bit petulantly, Silverstein clearly knows he just made a big mistake. Jack tells him, "I was over at Wong's, you know, Wong's

Eggrolls? I was doing some work on their little shithole toilet. You know, it was pretty much a fucking favor, you know? They said they were gonna pay me with a bunch of eggrolls and I figured that's cool, you know, because I actually like their eggrolls. So, I didn't mind doing it for them. So, you know, anyway, I finish up, and I, you know, I'm heading out to my van, and out comes Mr. Wong, saying that, apparently, the toilet exploded or something. As if it's my fault! You know, my fault that his toilet exploded! So, there I

am, getting grilled, after I tried to do the guy a fucking favor! He's yelling at me in Chinese! I don't even fucking speak Chinese! So, you know, I-I-I-I punched him, hard, and he fell back, you know? Fucking busted my hand, my eggrolls went all over the place, and then, I go home and I tried to do that breathing thing you were telling about?! You know, the count to three and... that doesn't fucking work, man! I don't know why you're telling me to do these bullshit exercises, 'cause they don't fucking work! You what I mean?! I end up busting the

fuck out of my toaster! I was kicking around my apartment, my neighbor started complaining, so now I, you know, I-I-I... now I gotta go to Wal-Mart and get a new fucking toaster!" After he's done ranting and raving, an exhausted Silverstein looks at Jack, who says he's going to leave, commenting that he can tell he's busy, and suggests trying the eggrolls at Wong's on his way out the door. When he's gone, Silverstein tosses his pen on his desk and facepalms, groaning, "Jesus!"

After being late to his night school class, coming in right after Prof. Crowley has finished showing the class a film, Jack sits down next to and gets scolded by Eve for being late and also for not having a pen with which to take down notes. As part of his class, Crowley takes out a small container of sodium, puts it on his desk, cuts off a small chunk of it (it's clearly just a bit of dry ice), and holds it up with a pair of pliers. He remarks on how the sodium is reacting to the little bit of moisture

in the air, as there's steam coming off it, and says that it should react violently when he drops it into a small dish of water that's also on his desk. When he does drop it in, the water starts to bubble and steam, before letting off a small burst with sparks, which leads to the students applauding. Crowley then dismisses the class and Jack, again, is admonished by Eve for being late. She refuses to hear his excuses or apology, and he's further annoyed by John who, after inviting Eve to come over to his house and smoke some hash, is

overly pushy about offering him a burnt disc of his own notes. Crowley then calls Jack over to his desk, much to Eve's annoyance, as she says she has to go work out with her sister in twenty minutes. John offers her a lift and the two of them leave together, while Jack talks with Crowley. After some small-talk, the professor, having noticed Jack's van and realizing he's a plumber, asks him if he could stop by his house and have a look at his pipes. Jack offers to come by that very night and an ecstatic Crowley tells him he's at 12 Watson Road.

Later that night, Jack drives to the house, which is revealed to be a large, spooky, old home in the middle of nowhere. When he arrives, he's greeted at the door by Crowley, who eagerly invites him in. Inside, it's obvious Crowley has been doing some repairs and remodeling, and he mentions he was able to get it for a really low price, as well as that the place has a history of having been once owned by a madman. He leads Jack down into the basement, where he shuts off the power switch to

the pump and starts inspecting it, while Crowley goes on about how he tried to fix the problem with a bottle of Liquid Plumber. Jack says he thinks the main line is clogged and that, since the pump has been off for so long, some rust built up on the inside. He then asks Crowley to go upstairs while he tries to fix it and that he'll call him when he needs him to test the sink. He does so, while Jack unscrews the main line to the pump, leading to some rusty water and sludge pouring out of it. He then

uses a long wire to clean out the innards of the pump and reattaches the line. Throwing the switch back on and restarting the pump, he yells up for Crowley to try to the sink. Crowley walks into the bathroom and turns on the faucet, recoiling when the water comes out in spurts, while downstairs, the right side of the pump's base bursts and water starts spraying out. Water also starts spraying out around the main line's socket and when Jack goes to turn the power switch off, sparks blow out at him. Crowley yells down that the faucet still isn't

working, as more sparks blow out and the pump starts to smoke from the strain of it. As the pressure within the pump builds, it leads to a large fissure opening in the yard outside. Suddenly, the pressure is released and a valve atop the pump flies off and hits Jack in the forehead, knocking him to the floor. The switch-box blows out completely and the pump dies, as Crowley comes downstairs to find Jack groaning in pain. He tends to Jack's head wound, as he tells him the pipes must be clogged everywhere and that he's going to have to

get a replacement for the valve. Crowley is understanding, and even offers to pay Jack for his services, but Jack refuses, saying he's not going to charge his teacher. He leads Jack upstairs to help with his head wound and later, with a bandage now covering the wound, Jack heads back out to his van. Unfortunately, the van proves obstinate and unwilling to start, which leads to Jack's rage erupting, as he punches and then shakes the steering wheel in anger. Finally, the engine turns over and Jack, after ripping off the bandage, drives off.

Late in the night, Crowley has fallen asleep in his study, while outside in the rain, his dog, Waldo, is barking at the fissure in the ground. An unearthly glow can be seen within, and an eerie, thick mist streams out of it and towards the door. It enters and streams throughout the entire house, until it reaches Crowley. The professor is enveloped in it and suddenly appears to awaken and stands up totally straight, before turning around to reveal that his eyes are completely black. Looking about the

room, his POV revealing that everything is a deep blue to him, he heads upstairs and to a door leading to the outside. But, rather than merely open the door, he rams into it again and again, cutting his bottom lip, until it opens up and he walks out into the rain. The film then cuts to another session with Silverstein, where Jack, after apologizing for showing up unannounced and acting awful to him the other day, bluntly asks him if he's going to fix his personal problems or not. Silverstein tells him

he needs to find some method of relaxing but Jack blows up, yelling, "I don't need to relax, alright? I just need to quit getting so... mad all the time! Like, fuck, man, I broke a bottle over my head once 'cause I couldn't open it, you know? I mean, that doesn't make any sense. I need to find some way to calm myself down when I start getting like that, you know? I need to find some way to relax." Realizing he just proved Silverstein's point, he asks how he can start relaxing. Silverstein suggests meditation, playing a sport, tai chi, yoga, Pilates, or

even yoga-lates. Jack, naturally, doesn't take these suggestions well, joking about pulling over and meditating when someone cuts him off on the highway, joining a badminton team so he'll stop headbutting people, and then exclaiming, "Or, maybe the best thing is I can, uh, I can pick up some gay exercise tape and I can spend the night with my sweet pea, sprawled out on the floor like a fucking gazelle in spandex! Yeah, that oughta solve my issues!" He then pauses and yells, "Holy... holy shit, I think I'm cured!", before storming out, again leaving behind a verbally beaten down Silverstein.

Crowley wakes up in his yard, with Waldo barking at him, and sits up to find his hands are covered in mud and that his clothes are quite dirty as well. Wondering what happened the previous night, Crowley turns around and finds a large hole he was apparently digging. Grabbing a shovel, he decides to go on with the job and digs and digs until he finds his main water line, which has a large hole in it. He also finds something else buried next to the line and digs at it with his hands to reveal it

to be a large, wooden crate. Unable to extract it by hand, he attaches a hook and chain to it and uses his truck to drag it out. He then carries the crate inside and downstairs to his office, where he uses a crowbar from his toolbox to pry off the lid. Finding that it's filled with dirt, he hooks up a lamp and uses it to examine more closely. Digging around, he finds a bone, which he tosses to Waldo in the doorway, and then parts the dirt near the corner of the crate to reveal a skull. Moving his hand over

where the torso would be, he parts the dirt to uncover something black and fleshy. Removing it and holding it in his hand, he realizes it's a heart. He brings his lamp in to see it more clearly, when Waldo barks from the doorway. Crowley tells the dog there's nothing to be scared of, when the heart starts beating in his hand. He's absolutely amazed at this, but when it starts beating more violently, he feels that something's wrong and tries to remove it from his hand, only to find it won't detach, even when he tries to pry it off with his

other hand. And then, as Waldo barks and snarls from the doorway, and as Crowley finds a sticky substance exuding from the heart, he finds that it appears to take possession of his hand, which forces it into his mouth. He tries to stop it and pull his arm back, but the heart is forced completely into his mouth and goes down his throat, a watery substance bubbling out of his mouth before he passes out.

A brief scene shows Jack going to a hardware store to get a replacement for the valve, which is when he meets old Howard, who works in the back. After waking him up and showing him the valve, Howard tells Jack the valve is an "Ironmaster 200," which he hasn't seen in a long time. Telling him he'll have to order a replacement, Howard asks Jack where he got it, and when he tells him about the house on Watson Road, Howard's demeanor changes. He warns Jack he doesn't want to go up

there, saying the place is cursed, and asks him if he believes in monsters. However, a man in line behind Jack says he can't wait forever, and Howard tells Jack that if he comes by the following evening to get his valve, he might also tell him the story of the place. Meanwhile, Crowley awakens, lets out a burp, and looks around, appearing out of it and scratching the left side of his chest. He opens the refrigerator he has in the room, takes out a head of cabbage, and starts munching on it.

Not liking it, he spits it out and starts munching on some raw meat that's in there, and also grabs a small carton of milk and guzzles it down, getting it all over the sides of his mouth. That night, at class, Jack and Eve arrive, with the latter talking with another girl about an upcoming party, while Jack has a little interaction with the lovely and nice Kristy. After they talk, Crowley walks in, looking very disheveled and disoriented, as well as holding a chicken leg he's munching on. The students, who are already staring at him because of how

strange he looks and is acting, are doubly surprised when he belches. He then walks up to the front of the classroom, to his desk, and his innards can be heard gurgling and he starts scratching himself. Janice asks him if he's sick and Crowley lets out a wheezing laugh, saying that he is a little sick, before turning to the blackboard. He tries to write some math problem, when he suddenly scribbles wildly along it, grabbing his hand in order to stop himself, before he belches again. He keeps on writing, drawing a square and a heart inside it,

when he vomits on the board, making everyone recoil in disgust. Even more disgustingly, he smears the vomit all over the board, before turning around, his face covered in it, his innards still gurgling, and proclaims, "I'm starving! Class dismissed!" However, the students are a little slow in leaving, as they're weirded out by what they've just seen.

Outside in the parking lot, when Jack can't get Eve to leave with him, as she's talking to John, he decides to wait in the van, and that's when John starts annoying him, talking about how his attitude is making Eve feel not okay and that it's also making John himself not okay. He suggests he smoke some weed and Jack tries to get Eve to leave, but John won't back off and he finally pushes Jack until he punches him in the throat, knocking him to the ground. Eve runs at Jack,

angrily admonishing him for what he just did, and demands he take her home, while John futilely calls for help in a weak, wheezing voice. Crowley, in the meantime, returns to his home, carrying a big bucket of fried chicken, and is startled when Waldo barks at him from nearby. Motioning at him in a threatening manner, Crowley walks into his office and, finding he's eaten the whole bucket, stomps over to the refrigerator. Suddenly, he gets a sharp pain in his side and is shocked to

see a slimy tentacle burst out. Pulling on it and struggling with it, wincing and groaning in pain, he stumbles over to his desk, grabs a pair of scissors, and cuts it off him, leading to it spraying him with inhuman blood. Waldo walks in as Crowley tosses the wriggling tentacle segment aside and, having gotten rid of that nuisance, rips the door off the refrigerator. He doesn't find much in there, save for a jar of pickles, some broccoli, and a couple of tomatoes, when he looks menacingly at Waldo, who stops barking and groans. Waldo runs out

of the room and Crowley chases after him. While the camera pans down to show the dismembered tentacle still wriggling under the torn off refrigerator door, you can hear Waldo whining off-camera before suddenly going silent.

Following another session where Jack, after telling Silverstein that he's considering going away to Brazil, finally gets down to the root of his problems, which is his guilt over having run away when his family was attacked, he goes to the hardware store to get his replacement valve. Again, he finds old Howard asleep at his desk in the back and he has to be loud in order to wake him up. He also has to deal with Howard not remembering their conversation from the previous day, though when he tells him he's there to pick up an Ironmaster

200, Howard does remember that one came in that afternoon. He stands up, his bones popping and cracking loudly, and retrieves the valve. When Jack, again, tells him it's for the house on Watson Road, Howard, yet again, tells him the place is cursed. Sitting down and taking a shot of whiskey, he tells Jack that, when he was a boy, he went there to live with his uncle, Emmet. He tells him that Emmet was a researcher who studied strange artifacts, particularly a black heart he picked up in Japan.

Thus begins the flashback, where a young Howard is seen going down to the room where Emmet kept the artifacts and picks up the box the heart is kept in. Howard narrates, telling Jack that Emmet told him the heart was supposed to be that of a demon that had managed to make its way to Earth. Young Howard is startled when Emmet yells for him from upstairs and he drops the box, cracking the glass that lines its sides. Scared, he puts the box back on its shelf, when Emmet comes stomping down there and sternly tells him to get upstairs and stay out of

the room. Emmet is then shown sitting in his chair in his study later on, as Howard narrates about how the demon was eventually destroyed and its heart kept as a trophy. However, as an eerie mist creeps out of the box, Howard says the demon's evil still lurked within the heart and that it was passed around over the centuries, until Emmet found it in an antique shop. The mist creeps in and envelops the study, where it takes possession of Emmet, his eyes turning black, just as Crowley's had done earlier, while Howard narrates that the heart

somehow got inside of his uncle. It transitions to the next day, where young Howard sits with Emmet at the table, as he ravenously stuffs himself, grabbing some macaroni and cheese by the handful and stuffing it into his mouth. He tells Howard to give him his plate and he does so, with Emmet downing the peas and carrots on it. Old Howard tells Jack he began to fear the worst, wondering if the demon had managed to be resurrected, as his young self is

shown opening the door to the artifact room and finding the smashed remains of the heart's container on the floor. It then cuts to the middle of the night, when Howard bolts up in his bed, having been awoken by a horrific scream and whine outside. He goes downstairs and out into the yard, where he finds Emmet gnawing and ripping into the center of his dog, whom he's just killed. Rather stupidly, he asks Emmet if he's alright and puts his hand on his shoulder, when Emmet grabs it, swings

around, and bites into it. Howard screams and pulls away his hand, revealing that Emmet bit off all but two of his fingers. He runs back into the house, with Emmet chasing after him, yelling like a madman. Howard heads downstairs, into Emmet's study, and grabs and loads one of his shotguns. Emmet comes downstairs, enters the room, and rushes at Howard, who points and shoots.

Old Howard, his voice choking up, tells Jack that he dragged Emmet's body out into the backyard, dug a hole, put Emmet inside a large crate, and locked it up. Young Howard is shown doing this, but old Howard says that, as he pulled the lid closed, he could still hear the heart beating. Jack, clearly incredulous, asks Howard, "So, he ate your hand?", and Howard, in turn, shows him that his left hand is now a hook. Jack then asks, "How'd you dig the hole?", and Howard responds, "Well, goddammit, it wasn't easy!" Finally, Jack has to

admit that he doesn't know what Howard expects him to say and Howard, in turn, becomes irate, growling, "You little son of a bitch. Here I am, speaking my mind, and nobody gives a crap." He rings up the price for the valve, sneering, "$9.25!", and Jack, just to be a sport, gives him a ten and tells him to keep the change.

Getting to night school, and after being chewed out once more by Eve, who accuses him of not being considerate of her feelings and gets mad when she thinks he's breaking up with her, even though she's the one who brought it up, Jack walks into the classroom and sits in the back. Up front, Crowley is asleep at his desk, while John, who's sitting across from Eve, tries to talk to her but is still all wheezy from where Jack punched him the night before (he lies and says it's because he did a lot karaoke at a big party). Two students, Pat and

Trevor, comment on how Crowley appears to be totally wasted, while Janice mentions to them that she filed a complaint, as she doesn't think Crowley is marking them up correctly. Pat then has Trevor hand him a textbook, which he loudly drops on the table. Crowley, after belching loudly, stirs and awakens, looking very sickly, as well as out of it, with a pencil sticking to his forehead. He stands up, balances himself by putting his hands on the table, and does the same as he makes his way across his desk. A POV shot

shows his vision is continuously blurry, and after he tries to focus his eyes, he freaks out when he sees that an anatomical model on his desk is sticking to his hand. He starts coughing, scratching at the left side of his chest, and his innards can be heard gurgling again. Saying he's alright, he obliviously tells everyone to be seated so he can start the class. As soon as he says that, he swings around and barfs a bluish goo onto his desk, much to the disgust and amusement of some of the students. He then turns back around, facing the

class, and, finally noticing it, removes the pencil from his forehead. He coughs and scratches again, says, "Let's get started," followed by some more gurgling and his suddenly seizing up and yelling in pain, stabbing the pencil like a knife in a robotic manner. One girl gets up from her desk and approaches him, asking if he's okay, but when she gets up to him, he backhands her, sending her flying over the desks and onto Eve, knocking her to the floor. Crowley falls to his knees, convulsing,

his neck swells up, and a black, viscous fluid starts pouring out of his mouth. Getting to his feet, John wheezily exclaims, "Holy shit! Run!" The students run out of the classroom in a panic, and while Eve also runs for it, Jack goes to help the girl, as Crowley falls on all fours and starts vomiting on the floor. Helping the girl to her feet, Jack leads her out the door, as tentacles burst out of Crowley's back.

Running down the hallway with the girl, Jack makes Eve help him carry her, while Crowley's tentacles snake out of the classroom and down the hallways. The three of them manage to duck inside an empty classroom and Jack slams the door on one tentacle again and again, effectively severing it and kicking away the stub that got inside the room with them. More tentacles burst out of Crowley to replace the severed ones and they manage to extend down the length of the hallways, grabbing and pulling back any student they can find. First, it

grabs a guy, followed by Kristy and another girl, and finally John, who runs into a locked door at the end of the hall. He gets grabbed around the neck and pulled along the floor, while in another part of the school, three other students don't fare much better. Janice slips on a patch of wet floor, and when she gets to her feet, she realizes she broke her left thumb. Just then, a tentacle comes at her, grabs her waist, and yanks her back down the hall. The other two students, Trevor and another girl, run for it but Trevor gets snatched by the legs, and

the girl finds herself cut off at the corner ahead of her by another tentacle. She tries to run back but the tentacle grabs her right leg and pulls her back across the floor too, getting slammed into a heating duct lining the wall and into a whole line of open locker doors before she ends up back in the classroom. She's pinned up against the wall, along with the other students, who all scream in horror at the sight of the monstrosity Crowley has become. Growling and roaring, the Crowley monster scans

the students, before setting his sights on John and pulling him towards his body. Stopping him right in front of his bloated gut and holding him there, Crowley extends a long tentacle with a fleshy mass at the end of it and shoves the tip into John's mouth. He starts pumping John full of some sort of substance, pausing at one point to gag a girl whose screams get on his nerves. Elsewhere, in the empty classroom, Jack pushes a file cabinet to the door and ties it to the handle, while Eve does nothing

but criticize him, saying his plan isn't going to work. She also repeatedly asks him how he's going to get them out, while the girl yells about how much her leg hurts, leading Eve to selfishly yell at her to shut up. Back in the classroom from hell, Crowley finishes with John, who rises up as a demon. He sends him out to find those who escaped and then turns his attention to Janice, repeating the process with her.

Jack stops to have a look at the girl's leg, pulling her pants' leg up to reveal a nasty gash. He takes off his jean jacket and flannel shirt, the latter of which he rips up and ties around the wound. Then, they hear something outside, followed by the demonized John smashing into the room through a door on the opposite side of the room. Eve panics and runs, while John lunges for the girl, who futilely tries to crawl away. He drags her across the floor and Jack dives and grabs her hand, trying to pull her free, but loses his grip and watches as she's dragged

around the corner, followed by the sound of her screaming, a loud crunch, and nasty sprays of blood. Jack runs out of the room, while Eve runs into another dark classroom and hides in a large cabinet. Meanwhile, Crowley finishes demonizing Janice and sends her out as well, before choosing another kid as his next victim. Back with Eve, John breaks into the classroom she's hiding in and it doesn't take him long to figure out where she is, as she's unable to mask her frightened gasps in the cabinet. He opens

the door and Eve scrambles to the opposite side of the cabinet, when Jack enters the classroom, sees what's happening, grabs a wooden stool, rushes at John, and smashes it over him. It knocks him into the cabinet and Jack quickly opens the other end and pulls Eve out. They run out of the room and into the hall, where they're confronted by Janice. They run down the hallway, around a corner, and to a set of double doors, which are locked. The place's Italian janitor is on the other side, mopping up,

when they start pounding on the glass. Janice comes around the corner behind them, as they try to get the janitor to open the door. He goes to unlock it, but since he doesn't realize the urgency of what's happening, he takes his sweet time in doing so. Janice is almost on top of them by the time he finally opens it up, and when he does, Jack tries to warn him, but the man doesn't get it until it's too late. Janice runs up behind him, jumps on his back, forces him down to the floor, and rips into his neck. Terrified, Jack runs for it, as Janice continues feeding on the janitor.

Jack and Eve rush out of the building and to his van. They pile inside but, like before, Jack has trouble in trying to get the thing to start. Eve, of course, starts screaming at him, like it's his fault, but it doesn't take much to start it up and Jack starts turning around and driving out of the parking lot. But then, the radio station he always listens to in the van starts playing Bobby Darin's Beyond the Sea, which hits a nerve. He slams on the brakes, much to Eve's confusion and anger, but he doesn't listen to her as

she rants at him; instead, he flashes back to the murder of his family and realizes his memory of it is accurate. He also decides that not going to run away this time, and turns to Eve and tells her to get out. Of course, she tries to fight with him about it, yelling that she's not getting out, but when he screams at her to get out, she, taken aback, climbs out and he turns the van back around and heads back towards the school. He races back into the parking lot, stops the van, gets out, and walks around to the back of the van. He opens it up, throws away his cap, and arms up with every makeshift weapon he can strap onto his tool-belt.

Jack storms into the school, brandishing a big pipe and following a trail of blood that leads from where the janitor got attacked to around a corner, where John and Janice are feeding on his innards. John sees Jack and roars and charges at him, but Jack smashes him in the torso with the pipe, knocking him to the floor. Janice then runs at him and tackles him, causing him to drop the pipe, and snaps at him as she has him pinned down. He manages to kick her off, when John leaps at him, but Jacks rolls out of the way, causing John to bang

his head on the lower part of the wall across from him, and gets to his feet up against the lockers. Janice jumps on him from behind but Jack smashes her up against the lockers and then throws her over his shoulders. He delivers a round of punches down into her, when John jumps at him and they slide across the floor. Jack is able to throw John off him, and when he charges again, Jack dodges and bashes his head repeatedly into the lockers. Janice then charges at him, but Jack flings John into her, the two of them collapsing on top of each other.

The two of them get angry and start fighting with each other, but Jack stomps over, grabs and throws John off of Janice and through the doorway of an auditorium, and then, after kicking her in the face, grabs his pipe from nearby and smashes her in the face, splattering her head everywhere. John roars at him and tries to charge but Jack kicks him back into the auditorium. Tossing his pipe away, Jack picks John up, punches him repeatedly in the gut, following that up with an uppercut that floors him,

and takes out a wrench and stabs him in the stomach with it. This appears to kill him and Jack, in turn, walks out of the auditorium. Back in the classroom, Crowley, despite how his big, bloated stomach is continuing to gurgle, decides to devour another victim, choosing, after briefly considering Kristy, a big, chunky guy he has over by the doorway. He pulls the guy over to him, kicking and screaming, hoists him up in front of him, holds him with his arms, and opens his big, toothy maw and sticks his head inside. He literally eats the guy alive, much to everyone's horror.

Jack runs down one of the hallways, when he hears a roar behind him. John, not as dead as he appeared to be, smashes down one of the auditorium's doors and makes his way into that very hall. He chases after Jack, who picks up and tosses a garbage can at him, and then, while running backwards, grabs an empty one and uses it as a shield. Jack gets knocked to the floor and John then grabs him by the throat and lifts him up off his feet. He roars at him and tosses him through a door that leads into a chemistry lab. Jack gets to his feet and, again

running backwards, throws everything he can get his hands on from a bunch of shelves at John, though it does nothing to stop him. He punches John in the face and John, in turn, backhands him, sending him flying across the room and slamming into a set of cabinets in the corner. John jumps up onto one of the tables and roars at Jack before jumping down and attacking. He manages to trap Jack up against a locked door and grabs him by his throat, but Jack breaks free, punches him in the gut a few times, and follows that up with some whacks

to the face. John grabs and bites into his left arm, but Jack, despite the pain, grabs the back of his head, yanks it up, and then headbutts him, sending him stumbling backwards and causing him to fall to the floor. Before he can get back up, Jack rips some gas tanks out of a nearby table and repeatedly smashes his head in again and again until it's a bloody pulp. He then tosses the tanks away and grimaces at the nasty bite wound in his arm, when he hears a girl scream nearby. He takes out a

roll of duct tape from his tool-belt, wrapping his wound up with it, then uses it to smash the glass case containing a fire axe, and runs down the hallway to the source of the screams. He finds his way back to the classroom, where he sees Crowley demonizing another student. He then starts hacking away at the tentacles that have the remaining students pinned to the wall, managing to set Trevor and a girl free. After they escape, Crowley whips one of his tentacles at Jack, who dodges and rolls across the

floor. Crowley snares him with another tentacle and, seeing he's about to chop it, throws him across the room and slams him against the wall, causing him to drop the axe. Crowley then whips him across the other side of the room, slamming him into a shelf and crashing him back to the floor.

The tentacles come at Jack again but he quickly overturns a table and uses it as a shield. The tentacles are able to smash through it, with one reaching around its side and yanking it away. Jack quickly scrambles over to the axe, grabs it, and flings it at Crowley, hitting him in his bloated lower section. Jack runs at him to do more damage but the student he demonized gets up and knocks him back, smashing him through the table from earlier. The student roars and snarls at him, and then rushes and pins him against the wall when he

gets to his feet, while Crowley manages to remove the axe. Jack punches the student off him, manages to turn her around, and punches her up against the wall, only for her to then grab his head and smash theirs together. Crowley laughs evilly at this, as the student picks Jack up off the floor and throws him across it and up against some cabinets. But then, Jack rips off one of the cabinet doors, smashes it across the student when she charges him again (Crowley has an, "Oh, crap!" expression upon seeing this), and then takes a big chunk of it and

stabs her in the neck. Once she's dead, Jack gets up and he and Crowley stare each other down. Crowley, appearing to recognize Jack, softens his expression for a little bit, but then roars at him. That's when Jack spies the small container of sodium in the cabinet whose door he ripped off and goes for it. He manages to grab it but Crowley snares his foot with a tentacle, pulls him towards him, and hoists him upside down in front of him. Despite his compromised position, Jack stuffs the container into Crowley's mouth, and he drops him

to the floor as he chews it. Jack watches as the sodium reacts to the moisture in Crowley's mouth and his entire head explodes as a result. Seeing this, Jack breaths a sigh of relief, as does Kristy, when another tentacle grabs his leg and starts pulling him towards the monster's headless body. Seeing that the demon heart is still beating, Jack grabs the axe, hacks off the tentacle, and then jams the blade right into the heart, causing it to spew out goop everywhere. He pulls the axe back out and

the heart dies, pulling itself into the body. Pat, who was still stuck in the room the whole time, gets the one tentacle off of him and runs out the door, as does another male student, while the Crowley monster's body collapses in on itself. With the danger over, Jack helps Kristy get the tentacle off her, takes her in his arms, and kisses her right on the mouth, which she gladly returns. Then, as Jack looks over at what's left of the classroom, he narrates that something within him changed that day, that he felt different and had to have that feeling again.

He adds he knew where to start, and the film transitions to the forest troll that killed his family feasting on the remains of an animal. The troll hears some twigs snap nearby and drops his meal and scans the treeline for any sign of movement. Hearing a snap behind him, he turns around, when an axe comes whirling towards him and knocks him to the ground. As he convulses and struggles with the axe sticking out of him, Jack walks up to him, puts his foot on his neck, reaches into his mouth, and rips out one of his fangs, which he now

wears around his neck. It then cuts back to where Jack was first seen, in the hut in the native village, as he continues preparing, sharpening a large hunting knife on a whetstone. He narrates that monsters do, indeed, exist, but that he's not running from them anymore; instead, he hunts them down. He's shown emerging from the hut, his hair and beard longer and more tribal-looking; he narrates that he also now has his anger problems under control. He marches out into the jungle, spear in

hand, and comes across the cyclops as he picks up another native by the throat. The cyclops breaks the man's neck and tosses him aside, before jumping at and threatening a couple of other natives. He then swings around, spots Jack, and roars at him. The movie ends on Jack pulling out his hunting knife and roaring back at the cyclops.

While the movie itself is a horror-comedy, the music score by Ryan Shore rarely plays anything for laughs, save for the moments when Prof. Crowley is acting all slovenly and gassy at his home, and there's also a bit of dark humor in how Beyond the Sea plays during the scene where Jack's family is killed. Otherwise, the comedic moments are allowed to play out without any scoring, while Shore mainly goes for an epic, action sort of feel to the music to emphasize the badass that Jack becomes whenever he's in his element of killing monsters, particularly in a building, heroic horn theme that you hear in a couple of spots, particularly when Jack smashes the demonized Janice's head. The music also emphasizes the creepier aspects of the story, with the demon heart, its way of creeping its influence into the house and possessing people to devour it, and Howard's backstory of how the heart possessed his uncle and he was eventually forced to kill him. All in all, it's not an amazing score, nor is it one that's instantly memorable (it took me a few watches to realize just how good it actually is), but it is a very accomplished one and goes along well with the sequences it's played to.

There are a lot of reasons to watch Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer: it has a very likable title character, a nice performance by Robert Englund, it looks and is shot much better than you would expect from a low-budget, Canadian movie, there are some genuinely funny moments, awesome practical effects, gore, and monsters, a good music score, and some nice sequences, especially the third act, which is pretty awesome and exciting all-around. But, it's far from a spectacular movie. One, if you're not into gross-out humor, there are moments and gags that won't work for you; two, there are some bits of humor that are just tired and cliched; three, a couple of characters are so annoying that you just want to strangle them; and finally, despite all the things it gets right, the movie feels like it could have been so much better, given the potential of its concept, perhaps through a slightly bigger budget or if they'd ever managed to get a sequel off the ground. Overall, if you want a pretty fun horror-comedy featuring some effects work that's tailor-made for an old school horror fan, you could do far worse than this, but don't expect to be absolutely amazed.