Zombie Flicks: Zombieland (2009)

As I've said before, unless it's something that really interests me, I tend to completely miss movies and shows that were a big thing at the time of their release and often don't get down to seeing them until years after their popularity has faded (The Blair Witch Project is a prime example; I didn't really see that for the first time until 2007). That is, indeed, the case with Zombieland, as I certainly knew of it when it was released in 2009 and it sounded fun, like an American answer to Shaun of the Dead, but I never got around to seeing it in theaters or when it first came out on home video. I did attempt to get it in the first couple of years it was out on DVD but it just didn't happen, and it wasn't until a year or so before the sequel that I finally got around to checking it out on Blu-Ray. When I did see it, my reaction was basically just, "Okay, I can scratch it off the list." I couldn't deny that it was a well-made and written movie, had enjoyable characters, and plenty of humor to go along with the gore, but that said, I also didn't completely love it the way I wanted to. I understood why it hit a chord with so many people but, for me, it was enjoyable but not laugh out loud funny or anything mind-blowing. Several other viewings since then have enabled me to enjoy it more, especially after seeing the sequel, which I ended up liking a lot more than I was expecting (check back in tomorrow for that one), and I really like how, rather than a total, mean-spirited farce, it does have genuine heart to it and isn't all dreary/ I still think it's ultimately just a good movie rather than a great one but I can't deny that it accomplishes what it sets out to do with flying color.

Two months ago, a really bad hamburger at a gas station began the spread of a virus that mutated from simple mad cow disease to one that turns the infected into ravenous, cannibalistic zombies. Now, the United States of America is the United States of Zombieland, and for a young, paranoid shut-in with irritable bowel syndrome, his lack of a social life and personal connections, as well as his own list of rules, have allowed him to survive thus far. On his way from his college dorm in Austin, Texas to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio to see if his parents are still alive, he hitches a ride with another survivor: an antisocial, zombie-despising man on his way to Tallahassee. Deciding to refer to each other by their intended destinations, the two of them travel across what's left of the U.S., with Tallahassee proving to have two joys in life: brutally killing zombies and Twinkies, the latter of which he's desperate to find. While stopping at a grocery store for the latter, they meet Wichita and Little Rock, two sisters who are also making their way across the country. They prove to be sly con artists who, twice in the same day, trick Columbus and Tallahassee, first disarming them and stealing their vehicle, and then hijacking them in the Hummer H2 they find as a replacement. However, Columbus manages to make everyone forget about their squabbles and personal problems, citing that they have much bigger things to worry about now. Also, he learns that the town of Columbus has been destroyed and his parents are likely dead. Although Wichita gives him the option of going to see for himself, he decides to stay with the group, who head on to California and become more and more close-knit at time goes on. Strangely, Zombieland may allow Columbus to have the one thing he's always avoided and yet truly wanted at the same time: family.

Zombieland started out as a script for a possible television series and, at that point, the person they hoped would direct the pilot was John Carpenter. According to the producers, Carpenter was interested, but withdrew when they decided to make it into a feature film instead, saying his schedule would not permit him to commit to a feature (which makes me scratch my head, as Carpenter wasn't doing crap at that point). As a result, it instead became the first feature directed by Ruben Fleischer, who started out directing commercials, music videos, TV specials, short films, and even episodes of talk shows like Jimmy Kimmel's, and is said to be the one who helped rewrite the script and boil it down to a self-contained feature film. His other movies since then include 30 Minutes or Less, also with Jesse Eisenberg; 2013's Gangster Squad, with Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Nick Nolte, and Sean Penn, among others (including Zombieland's own Emma Stone); Venom, with Tom Hardy; and, of course, the long-awaited sequel, Zombieland: Double Tap. Throughout the years, he's also continued directing in television, although a lot of the shows he's worked on are ones I'm not familiar with, like Escape My Life, Tubbin' with Tash, Marry Me, and Santa Clarita Diet. Notably, he was also an executive producer on the Clint Eastwood movie, The Mule.

Although I know he appeared in movies before (in terms of the horror genre, Wes Craven's Cursed and M. Night Shyamalan's The Village), Zombieland is one of the first where Jesse Eisenberg came to prominence in the public eye and his role of Columbus is a prime example of the type he works best in. He really fits as an awkward, geeky shut-in who, even before just about everyone else around him became zombies, avoided people like the plague. He himself says that when he first realized what was happening, it was during his third straight week in his dorm-room, doing nothing but playing World of Warcraft, eating pizza, and drinking Code Red Mountain Dew, adding, "Pride: nowhere. Dignity: long gone. Virginity: totally justifiable to speculate on." The one thing he'd always wanted was to find a girl and become part of a functional family, and that seemed to come true that night when his neighbor, a really hot girl, came running to him for help, saying that a crazy homeless man attacked and tried to bite her. Unfortunately for him, she later became a zombie and chased him around his dorm-room until he finally killed her by bashing her in the head with the lid to his toilet bowl tank. For two months afterward, his numerous phobias, loner attitude, and own personal rules for surviving Zombieland, which he politely lets us in on throughout the movie, enabled him to stay alive until he met up with Tallahassee and the two of them began riding across the country. Ironically, after spending his whole life avoiding people, Columbus now realizes how much he misses human contact and companionship and decides to head back to his hometown in Ohio to see if his equally reclusive parents are still alive. On the way, he and Tallahassee form something of a bond, even though he tends to get on Tallahassee's nerves, which is never a good idea, and he finds Tallahassee's violence and Twinkie obsession to be rather trying. Columbus also immediately falls for Wichita when they meet her and Little Rock, keeping his infatuation even after the girls con them twice, and manages to be the mediator between them and Tallahassee, telling them they need to work together in order to survive and leading to them becoming a group of four. He eventually learns from Wichita that the town of Columbus has been destroyed and, knowing that his parents are likely dead, becomes despondent and depressed, though he says he's unsure if it was because of the knowledge his family was dead or that he never really had one. Although Wichita gives him the option of going there himself to make sure or, at least, find somewhere else to settle, Columbus decides to stay with them, since he now has no one else and also because he doesn't want to be away from Wichita.

As the group grows closer, Columbus becomes intent on impressing Wichita (that said, he doesn't have enough gumption to take the lead to make sure a trading post they stop at is free of zombies), picking up some potential perfume for her, and learns to enjoy the little things, such as trashing a place without any consequences. He also makes the very shameful mistake of shooting and mortally wounding Bill Murray when they seek refuge in his Hollywood mansion, although Murray admits it was his fault. Most importantly, he and Wichita do become close, to the point where they

almost kiss, although Tallahassee ends up interrupting it. And the next day, her trust issues get the better of her and she and Little Rock take off, leaving Columbus totally devastated. Regardless of this rejection and what Tallahassee tells him, he decides to go after them, knowing they're at the Pacific Playland amusement park near Los Angeles... or at least he tries to, before he wipes out on one of Bill Murray's Harley Davidsons by hitting the curb right outside the garage. With Tallahassee's help, he manages to get to the park and is able to nut up enough to help the girls when they get trapped on a drop-tower ride by

the zombies, changing his rule of "Don't Be a Hero" and facing his fear of clowns while doing so. This act of courage and devotion earns him Wichita's complete trust, as lets him in on her real name. With that, Columbus now truly has everything he wanted in life.

Anybody who sees Zombieland agrees that Woody Harrelson is the absolute man as Tallahassee. He makes his entrance by barreling in driving a Cadillac Escalade with a big plow on the front that he uses to rip through smashed up vehicles on the highway and immediately has a Mexican standoff with Columbus after attempting to run over him. When Columbus thumbs for a ride, Tallahassee allows him to come along, although he tells him right off the bat that he's not a very tolerant or personable man and can sense he's likely going to get on his nerves. Regardless, Tallahassee is shown to be an armed to the teeth badass who you'd want by your side while making your way through Zombieland, especially given his searing hatred for them and proficiency at killing them. But, his weakness for Twinkies can cause him to take unnecessary risks, and he doesn't take kindly to being questioned why he cares so much, telling Columbus that any Twinkies they find will likely be the last anyone ever enjoys. He also absolutely hates Sno-Balls, growling, "I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency," and is none too happy when they find a crashed Hostess truck early on and it's filled with nothing but Sno-Balls. As harsh as he is, though, at one point telling Columbus that his hometown is probably not going to be in much better shape than what's around them, Tallahassee isn't totally heartless. When they first meet Wichita and Little Rock and are told that Little Rock's been bitten, Tallahassee is good enough to tell Columbus not to freak them out with what they know and also offers to put Little Rock out of her misery before giving Wichita the gun so she can do it herself. Later, when Wichita makes a crass remark about the state of the town of Columbus, Tallahassee visibly cringes and lets Wichita know that she just dealt a huge blow to him. And while he can hardly be called a sentimental person, he's over the moon when they meet Bill Murray, totally geeking out, and is devastated when he gets killed and they have to dispose of the body. 

Ultimately, it's revealed that Tallahassee's hatred for zombies covers up a lot of pain. Originally, he told Columbus it stemmed from a little dog named Buck who was killed by them, but later, he lets it slip that Buck was actually his young son, whom we see he absolutely adored and is moved to tears when he remembers him. He shows the others pictures of Buck in a wallet he put together with duct tape and later admits he hadn't cried like that in a long time (specifically since he saw Titanic). As a result, he develops a fatherly relationship with Little Rock, who mostly

annoyed and frustrated him beforehand, going as far as to show her how to shoot properly, which proves beneficial for her and Wichita later on. While he covers it up, he's obviously as upset when the girls abandon them as Columbus, telling him, "That's why I don't let people close. You only get burned," and decides to make his way to Mexico. He thinks Columbus is a fool when he insists on going after Wichita but, when he reminds him that the girls had loved ones just like them, he decides to aid him in his quest and, together, the two of them mop up a lot of zombies at Pacific

Playland, especially him, as he uses the various rides as vantage points and even makes an awesome last stand in a prize booth surrounded by zombies. Once the crisis is averted, Tallahassee continues his quest to find a Twinkie, going into a candy store on the property, only for Columbus to accidentally destroy the Twinkies that were in the backroom. Thankfully, Little Rock saved him one and tosses it to him before the four of them leave the park.

Like Columbus, Emma Stone's Wichita is someone who avoids human attachments as much as possible, with the only exception being her little sister, Little Rock. The two of them prove to be very crafty in the way they con people, managing to do it to Columbus and Tallahassee twice in one day. When they first meet them in a grocery store, they act as if Little Rock has been bitten and is about to change, tricking Tallahassee into giving Wichita his gun so she can perform a mercy kill. They then hold them up and steal Tallahassee's Escalade, only for the engine to blow out on them later on. They trap the guys again when they come by in a Hummer H2, with Little Rock managing to get the drop on Columbus while Tallahassee gets out and investigates the abandoned Escalade, all while Wichita hides behind a nearby hay bale. It turns out the two of them had been conning their way across the country even before the zombie apocalypse, using a number of fake engagement rings as part of a scam to get money to make it to California. Their reason for heading there is to visit Pacific Playland outside of Los Angeles, as it's a place they visited when they were younger and Wichita wants to give Little Rock a chance to be a kid, as she's gotten so few chances to do so, especially since the outbreak. And while she and Little Rock initially see Columbus and Tallahassee as a means to get what they need, Wichita is good enough to bring them along the second time they trick them, and after Columbus makes everyone call a truce since they should worry about protecting themselves from zombies, she and him start to become close. Feeling guilty when she harshly tells Columbus that his hometown has been destroyed and his parents are likely dead, Wichita offers to give him a lift there so he can see for himself or allow him to find somewhere new to settle. When she does, Columbus mentions in his narration that he recognized her empathy for him as coming from a place of similar pain, commenting, "We were all orphans in Zombieland." Ultimately, the groups stays together, and Columbus and Wichita get close to the point of nearly kissing, a moment that's ruined by Tallahassee. This causes her attachment problems to flare up and she and Little Rock abandon them again to head to Pacific Playland. But, when they get there and activate all the lights and rides, Wichita's promise to Little Rock about there being no zombies there turns out to be very wrong, as a big horde attacks and traps them on a drop tower ride. Fortunately, Columbus and Tallahassee come to the rescue and Wichita is thankful enough to accept a kiss from Columbus and tell him her real name: Krista.

While she may be the younger sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) is just as crafty and cunning as Wichita, and is also as proficient with a gun, at one point managing to scare Tallahassee into surrendering the one he's currently holding, a talent she chalks up to, "All those violent video games." With her only human attachment, both before and after the zombie apocalypse, being her sister, Little Rock is, initially, rather antagonistic towards the guys, Tallahassee in particular, annoying him when she tells him she doesn't know who Willie Nelson or Bill Murray are (the latter of which he says is like not knowing who Gandhi, when she then asks, "Who's Gandhi?"). Also, while Columbus is schooling her on the latter by showing her Ghostbusters in Murray's private screening room, it's suggested that she's not too thrilled with the idea of him getting involved with Wichita, telling him she kind of likes "bad boys," i.e. the exact opposite of him. But, following a game of Monopoly where Tallahassee opens up about the pain he's in concerning the fate of his young son, Little Rock starts to grow a bond with him, as she joins him in target practice and he shows her the best way to get a shot off, which saves her and Wichita's life during the climax. And when Wichita decides to drop the guys when she feels she's becoming too close to Columbus, Little Rock is obviously not liking the idea of doing so. Sad thing is there's not much else to say about her, as she's easily the most underdeveloped of the four main characters (something that didn't change in the sequel, either).

The idea of a big star making a surprise cameo in the film was part of the movie's script for a very long time and was originally intended to be Patrick Swayze. But, this was when Swayze was battling the cancer that would ultimately kill him and thus, was too ill to appear in the movie (he died less than two weeks before it was released). Other potential cameos included everyone from Sylvester Stallone and Dwayne Johnson to Joe Pesci, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Kevin Bacon, and Dustin Hoffman, and it was only through Woody Harrelson, who'd worked with him before, that they were able to get Bill Murray. Even though Murray's supposed to be playing a "fictionalized" version of himself, I could totally see him being like this during an actual zombie apocalypse: staying in his house most of the time but going out after making himself up like a zombie to keep from getting eaten. He's also not at all put off by a group of strangers breaking into his house but rather, tries to pull a prank on them by pretending to be a zombie himself via the makeup and a wig. That gets him whacked in the back by Wichita but, once they realize he's not one of the undead, he acts as a gracious host, one who's overwhelmed by but grateful for Tallahassee's fangasm over meeting him, allows them to smoke from a bong, and even reenacts a scene from Ghostbusters with him and Wichita. But, unfortunately, his attempt to pull the same zombie prank on Columbus and Little Rock is a total disaster, as Columbus shoots him in the gut, mortally wounding him. Before he dies, Murray admits that it was his fault and, famously, when Little Rock asks him if he has any regrets, his response is, "Garfield, maybe?" (My rebuttal to that is, "Just the first one?") They then carry his wrapped up body, which they bang in the doorway and drop at one point, onto the terrace, give him a four gun salute, and dump his body over the side, before washing their hands with disinfectant. After the credits, there's a scene between the mortally wounded Murray and Tallahassee where he helps him correctly quote a scene from Caddyshack, an outtake that they decided they had to put back in at some point.

One last noteworthy character is Columbus' neighbor at the dorms, who's only known by her room number: 406 (Amber Heard). As Columbus narrates about how all he wanted in life was a nice, hot girl, 406 bursts into his room in a panic, begging for help. Taking advantage of the situation, he sits her down, gives her a drink, and talks to her, as she describes having been attacked by a seemingly insane homeless man while on her way home, a man who tried to bite her. Feeling comforted by him, she decides to take a nap and falls asleep on his side, giving him the opportunity of fulfilling his fantasy of brushing a girl's hair over her ear, although he doesn't take it. Unfortunately for him, when he wakes up later, he finds she's become a zombie and she chases him all around his room until he finally puts her out of her misery by cracking her over the head. And knowing that she's played by Heard, you can't help but watch this scene and wonder if that was an almost nightly occurrence during the time she was with Johnny Depp.

What makes Zombieland such an enjoyable horror-comedy is the tone it goes for, which is surprisingly light-hearted. Although we're dealing with a story about a zombie apocalypse, a group of people who've lost everything trying to survive, and zombies who are shown to be very ravenous and ferocious, the tone is almost always upbeat and energetic, mostly thanks to Columbus' constant, sardonic narration. It starts right at the beginning: even though he's talking over scenes of people getting chased down and devoured by zombies, his sarcastic, yet not quite

cynical, descriptions of what's going on make you realize you're not supposed to take this seriously. The same goes for when he talks about how pathetic his life was even before the zombies showed up or describes how awkward he was when it came to his interest in Wichita, something he keeps it up throughout the movie, talking about his numerous phobias, including his fear of clowns (as well as undertow, department store Santas, and being alone with a baby, to name a few), his irritable bowel syndrome, and, of course, his list of rules

for surviving Zombieland. As a result, it's all the more effective when the movie does get serious and heartfelt, like when Columbus learns his hometown has been wiped out, Tallahassee admits that Buck was actually his young son rather than his dog, Columbus becomes despondent over Wichita and Little Rock just upping and leaving, and when it looks as if the characters may die during the climax, and even then, it never wallows in it to the point where it becomes overly sentimental and schmaltzy.

It also helps that you genuinely like these characters and they're a lot of fun to watch, despite their sad backstories. As I've described, Tallahassee is just really entertaining and brings a lot of energy to the film because of how crazy and yet kickass he is, and it's really enjoyable to watch him interact with and be annoyed by the much more skittish Columbus. Plus, his obsession with finding a Twinkie and his reasoning as to why he's so hellbent on it makes you just shake your head and laugh every time, especially at the end when Columbus ends up obliterating his chance with his itchy trigger finger.

Let's also not forget the way Tallahassee gushes when they break into Bill Murray's Hollywood mansion and ultimately meet the man himself. Speaking of which, it is amazing and endearing to think that Murray agreed to actually randomly show up in this film as himself, surviving by pretending to be a zombie, only to get killed accidentally by Columbus for that very reason. Even his death is played for laughs, as he makes jokes as he's dying, his final breath is overly long, the group clumsily carries his body out onto the

terrace, give him a four-gun salute, which is momentarily interrupted by Columbus needing to reload, and then finally roll his body over the edge of the terrace before wiping their hands with disinfectant. Finally, you have the girls and the way they've been conning people out of money in order to make their way to California, before putting those same skills to good use in Zombieland, and it's just great to see these very different types of people being forced to travel together, interact, and find what enjoyment they can, notably in the nighttime scene where they trash the abandoned trading post and then have various discussions while driving down the road.

While most of the humor does come from the dialogue and the interactions and quirks of the characters, the movie isn't afraid to go for some more lowbrow laughs (when the movie starts up and you see a zombie chowing down on someone, a classic belch sound effect is heard). There are also instances of good old-fashioned slapstick, like when Tallahassee intentionally smashes a zombie in the face with the door of his Escalade, a moment that's virtually out of Loony Tunes where a woman named Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker drops a piano on a zombie that's coming for her, the characters

badly fumbling Bill Murray's wrapped body before they unceremoniously dump him over the edge of his terrace, and Columbus clumsily wiping out while trying to ride a Harley Davidson to the rescue. These instances are few and far between but it goes to show that the filmmakers decided to try every type of humor they could think of.

Another way in which director Ruben Fleischer brought a sense of fun to Zombieland was giving it a real visual flair. It's just very well-made and presented, Fleischer obviously tapping into his music video background to make it work. It's shot well, for one thing. As much as I don't care for that washed our digital look, I can deal with it here, as it suits the tone (although the nighttime scenes are a bit murky), and what's more, the movie is filled with a number of big, wide, impressive shots that show off the surroundings, giving the feeling that everywhere they go really is deserted and making the action scenes feel fairly big in scope. The

cinematography and editing are often very energetic in general, but what's most notable about the movie's visual style is the way Columbus' rules for survival pop up onscreen, always in three dimensions and often doing some action that's relevant. When his rule "Limber Up" comes up, for instance, the individual words hop back and forth as he does the action, and later, when he mentions the rule, "When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out," leaving a door leading to the outside of the grocery store ajar, the words come sliding in from

outside. There's also a gag where Columbus and Tallahassee discuss the "Zombie Kill of the Week," a holdover from when this was meant to be a TV show, and before Columbus names the ultimate winner, a graphic for the title comes up next to Tallahassee when he pulls off what he believes takes it. The opening credits are done in this same kind of stylized manner, with the scenes accompanying them happening in slow motion as the credits themselves are hit and smashed by various elements in the scene. And, speaking of slow-motion, there are some instances of it in the movie to add an intentional dramatic effect to some scenes, particularly action sequences, that actually succeeds in making them come off as impactful.

For a fairly big budget movie, most of it was shot on location, and mainly in Georgia, one state over from where I live in Tennessee. I'm guessing they went there because it was much easier to close down sections of highway and city streets to give off the illusion of the aftermath of an apocalypse; regardless, it looks good and adds some scale to the movie, as well as makes it feel more real. They shot all over the place in George, including Atlanta, where they found the mansion they used for the exterior of Bill Murray's house; Rutledge, where they did the trading post scene; Atlanta

Motor Speedway in Hampton, for a scene at a highway rest stop; Powder Springs, for the grocery store; and, most notably, Wild Adventures Theme Park in Valdosta, which doubled for Pacific Playland. A lot of the rides in the park were featured in the actual movie, although the haunted house attraction that plays a part in the sequence was a facade they built there, while the interior was another attraction, the Netherworld Haunted House near Atlanta. They did shoot some material in Hollywood for when they're driving down Hollywood Boulevard and briefly stop at the abandoned Grauman's Chinese Theater, and it's all the more

impressive that they were able to get that place to look abandoned and empty. In any case, all of these locations are made to look natural and not too flashy, including the amusement park. Actually, the only section of the movie where they really went big and over-the-top in the production design is the interior of Bill Murray's mansion, which is this majorly extravagant, gold-painted building with golden furniture, pictures and portraits of Murray himself all-around, big, luxurious bed and living rooms, a big kitchen with polished, granite

counters, and a private screening room. That and the interiors of the trading post, grocery store, and Columbus' dorm room are likely the only real sets in the film (obviously, they weren't going to actually let them trash their businesses; if you look closely in the grocery store, you can tell that some of the products in there are fake), as everything else seems to have been shot in real places.

There's not much to say about the zombies themselves other than, with few exceptions, they're one aspect of the movie that's not played for laughs. They're a fairly small part of the story but when they are seen, they prove to be quite a serious threat for those who are either unarmed or have no way of dealing with big hordes of them. They're more akin to the "infected" seen in 28 Days and 28 Weeks Later, with their clearly defined origin from a virus, the way they look and act like insane, ravenous people rather than the traditional undead, and their running,

which you don't usually get in zombie movies. But, at the same time, a lot of them have grotesque injuries that would kill or cripple a living person, often appear decayed, shamble a bit when they're not running, are seen devouring people they kill while the infected just rip apart anyone or anything they come across, and any sort of severe injury to the head seems to be the way to put them down, making them kind of a mixture of the traditional and contemporary tropes. Unfortunately, as a consequence, they're pretty generic in both their behavior and design, the latter of which was

supervised by makeup effects veteran Tony Gardner, and there's really little to differentiate them from the infected, the zombies in the Dawn of the Dead remake, or even the classic Romero zombies. Since this movie is a character piece, that's not really a major issue, but you kind of wish they could have done something to make the zombies a bit more special. What's more, I've read that all of the blood and gore effects were added later digitally. I don't know if that's completely true as, while the gore isn't focused on a lot, there are some close-up shots

of zombies biting into people and nasty injuries like snapped ankles and smashed-in heads that look very much like they were done through practical means, but I wouldn't be surprised if the blood splatters caused by gunshots were done digitally, as that's quite common. If they were done that way, while I do wish they could have done them on set, I have to say that they seemed to have done better digital work than in other zombie movies, particularly George Romero's own last two films.

The movie wastes no time whatsoever. As soon as the Columbia Pictures logo has come and gone, you see an inverted angle on a small, waving American flag that's revealed to be the POV of a video camera, its user hiding behind a two car pileup, the one on top sporting the flag, which is actually upside down, on its trunk. The camera then pans over to a shot of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. and it's revealed that the piled up cars are Secret Service vehicles. The cameraman pans around, showing that there's chaos and burning vehicles all around him, when a zombie

jumps over the piled up cars and comes running at him. The man tries to get away but he trips and falls while running backwards and the zombie takes a big chunk out of his side. He then looks at himself in the camera's viewfinder and picks at his teeth, before letting out a belch. All the while, Columbus narrates, "Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of

Zombieland." We get a quick pull away to a shot of the entire globe, showing the extent of the spread of the disease creating the zombies, as Columbus explains how he has managed to become the apparent sole survivor, which comes down to his list of rules. A fat guy is shown being chased across a football field by a zombie, as Columbus explains, "Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go... were the fatties." Indeed, the guy is easily run down by the zombie, who then rips out his jugular.

Next, a rainy city street is shown in absolute chaos, with cars running into each other, people being chased by zombies, and an undead state trooper getting bounced off the front of one car. This does nothing to stop him, as he runs across the street and goes for a woman, who pulls out a firearm and shoots him. He falls to the ground, and as the woman foolishly taps his body to make sure he's actually dead, Columbus explains the second rule, the Double Tap: "In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets." He goes on to say, "I mean, one more clean shot to the head..." when the undead trooper resurrects, grabs, and bites into the woman's leg as she goes to walk away, and other zombies join in on the feeding frenzy. Columbus finishes, "...and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda, coulda, shoulda."

Columbus then talks about how the zombies became smart enough to prey on people when they were at their most vulnerable, as seen when a guy who's sitting on a public toilet hears someone walk in and complains about not being able to take a dump in peace, when a zombie crawls under the door of the stall in order to get at him. As the man is grabbed and we see an exterior shot of the stall as blood pools along the floor, we're introduced to Rule No. 3: Beware of Bathrooms. The next scene shows a woman getting into her van and trying to start it in order to escape a birthday party that's

gone totally belly up, the kids having become zombies and smacking on the side of the van. Columbus describes how, as zombies began to outnumber people, everyone had to stop worrying about others and focus on their own survival, as the woman manages to drive away and escape the kid zombies chasing after her, as well as shake off those hanging onto the back of her van. But, she ends up dying anyway, as she doesn't follow Rule No. 4: Seat-Belts, and crashes into a flatbed truck that drives across the road in front of her, sending her flying through the windshield and skidding

across the street. We then get into the opening credits, made up of slow-motion images of further zombie chaos, like a man jumping off a tower to his death, a zombie vomiting up blood, a woman with a milkshake being chased, riot squads shielding themselves from zombies, a zombie bride attacking her still human husband, a man in a suit carrying his son, who's also in a suit, as they're chased, a guy in a white tuxedo firing an AK-47, unaware that a zombie's coming up behind him, and a bloody zombie slamming onto and crashing through the windshield of a car, all set to Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls.

We cut to Garland, Texas at night and are formally introduced to Columbus, as he tries to get some gas at a station. He talks about how it's been two months since the virus began spreading and, as he nervously walks towards the restroom, shotgun in hand, he explains that his not having any real family or close friends proved an advantage for his survival. He looks about to break his own rules when he goes for the restroom door but, in the end, decides against it. That proves to be a wise decision, as a zombie comes roaring through the

door, some toilet paper stuck to his foot, and chases after him. Columbus heads to his car, when a woman zombie pops up at the gas pumps. He shoots her in the torso, but that does nothing to stop her and both of them chase him through the parking lot. He makes a loop back to his car and goes to unlock the door, when he fumbles the keys and drops them. He's forced to run for it again, the rule of cardio having now come into play twice during this scene, and when he loops back around to his car, he grabs the keys and goes to unlock the

door, only to find it was unlocked the whole time. Quickly, he gets inside, locks the door, and buckles his seat-belt, before taking off when the zombies reach his door and try to get at him. He manages to get away from them easily enough, only for another one to pop up in his backseat. He panics and tries to avoid the zombie's swiping and grabbing at him, losing control of the car in the process and driving wildly through the streets. He then hits a store front and the zombies goes through the windshield and into the building's side window, while Columbus' rule about seat-belts

proves to save his life. But, the zombie still isn't done, and lunges out of the window and reaches for him through the hole in the windshield. Columbus grabs his shotgun and, avoiding the zombie's swiping by using the wipers to keep him at bay, loads it and blasts him, knocking him off the hood. The zombie rolls over to the side and falls to the ground, where he convulses. Columbus quickly gets out and gives the zombie a double tap, finishing him off and then slumping to the ground in exhaustion. He comments, "On the bright side, I found a place to go number two."

In the next scene, Columbus walks down the center of a highway full of vacant vehicles and pulling a rolling suitcase behind him, as he narrates that another of his rules is "Travel Light," not just in terms of luggage but also when it comes to others. He talks about how he's spent his whole life avoiding people, only to now miss the company others, and that he's on his way to the town of Columbus, Ohio to see if his parents are still alive. Noting that it would be nice to see a familiar face, or any face that's not that of a bloodthirsty zombie, he turns

and sees an Escalade coming down the road behind him. With a plow on its front and a big 3 sprayed on its door, it smashes past a car and drives down the edge of the road towards Columbus, who panics and takes cover next to a car whose hood is smashed open. The Escalade drives past him and comes to a stop across from him, prompting him to use a nearby motorcycle as a would-be shield while shakily pointing his shotgun at it. We're introduced to Tallahassee, who steps out, removes his sunglasses, and

takes a gun of his own out of his holster. The two of them have a standoff, Columbus continuing to shake as he points his own gun while Tallahassee is trained on him totally steady (not only are there wide angles meant to simulate a spaghetti western, but if you listen closely to the music, you can hear a tinkling chime akin to that of the watch that played a key role in For a Few Dollars More). After several seconds of this fairly tense confrontation, Columbus thumbs for a ride and Tallahassee motions for him to get in the Escalade. He rolls his suitcase over and puts it in, while Tallahassee kicks

over the motorcycle he was using as cover. After climbing in the passenger seat, Columbus enacts one of his rules, "Check the Backseat," but Tallahassee tells him the only thing back there is his duffle bag. Setting a boundary by saying they shouldn't know each other's names, as they'd be getting too familiar, Tallahassee pours Columbus a shot of whiskey and the two of them establish where each of them is heading, as well as what they call each other. They drink the whiskey, although Columbus tosses it out the window behind him and only pretends to drink, as Tallahassee

swigs straight from the bottle. Columbus suggests they stick together, but Tallahassee says that, because of their differing personalities, he doesn't see them making it past Texarkana. That's good enough for Columbus, who fastens his seat-belt, and as they drive off, he suggests to Tallahassee that he do the same, prompting him to say, "I can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves." Columbus explains that, while it wasn't his style to team up, he felt safer with Tallahassee, explaining, "You see, he was in the ass-kicking business and..." and then, we transition to a shot of Tallahassee wielding two chainsaws and wearing a welding mask, remarking, "Business is good."

But then, we get the introduction of Tallahassee's one weakness, as the two of them are standing at the edge of the road, looking at a Hostess truck that's crashed down in the ditch, as he mentions, "I could use a Twinkie." He goes to head down there and asks Columbus if he's coming. Columbus says he is, and proceeds to limber up, much to Tallahassee's amusement, who asks, "You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?" Columbus, seeing his point, follows him down the side of the hill and towards the truck's backdoor, as

Tallahassee takes out his gun. Kicking the door, Tallahassee prepares to open it, while Columbus has his shotgun trained on it. When he yanks the door open, a pile of Sno-Balls tumbles out, enraging him, as there's not a Twinkie to be found. While Columbus eats one of the Sno-Balls, Tallahassee declares his Twinkie situation is far from over as he proceeds to climb back up the hill. That's when Columbus informs him that he has to, "Take the Browns to the Super Bowl." They're then seen at a highway rest stop, Tallahassee

practicing attacking a zombie with his big hunting knife while he waits on Columbus. Inside, Columbus, explaining that he has a case of "chronic anxiety," checks all the stalls before grabbing some toilet paper from one and walking to the other at the end of the row. As he sits on the toilet, doing his business, he tells us about his bizarre phobias, ending on his major one: clowns. He hallucinates seeing a fat clown crawling underneath the stall door to get at him, only for him to disappear in a puff of smoke. He tells us about how, before Zombieland, he'd become a shut-in due to his phobias and we cut to a flashback

of him sitting in his dorm-room for the third straight week, playing War of Warcraft. He attempts to take a drink of Code Red Mountain Dew by grabbing the rim of the lid with his mouth and leaning back, causing it to spill out all over his shirt. He goes and changes his shirt, talking about his desire to find a girl, fall in love, and become a member of a truly functional family. Suddenly, he hears a frantic knocking at his front door and a girl's voice asking if anyone's home. Saying that, while he normally wouldn't open his door to such a sound, the girl, his neighbor in 406, is really hot and so, he lets her in. She rushes through the door, locks it behind her, and promptly throws her arms around him, frantically thanking him for letting her in.

He pours her some Mountain Dew in a mug and, after she takes a sip, he offers her some Golden Grahams in a ziplock bag, but she turns them down. She tells him that, while she was on her way home from a bar, an apparently diseased and insane homeless man ran after her and chased her back to the dorm. She also mentions that he tried to bite her and Columbus, after awkwardly telling her that her fear was legitimate, unlike how it often is for him, says he will stay there and protect her. She lays down to take a nap, putting a pillow against his arm and kissing him on the cheek before

snuggling up to him. Columbus narrates, "Set aside the feverish, homeless cannibal, I'm living the dream. I had always, my whole life, wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear." He attempts to do that but when she says one last thing before dozing off, he decides not to and just sits there with her snuggled against him. Fade to black and Columbus awakens to find that 406 is looking rather diseased and acting menacing towards him. She vomits up some bile before trying to get at him. He jumps off the couch and she gives chase, pursuing him around the dining room table, through the kitchen,

and trapping him against the refrigerator. He grabs a blender and threatens to defend himself with it, only for the plastic to fall off the base. She rushes at him and he ducks out of the way, causing her to slam into the refrigerator's front. She chases him down the hall and into another room, where he slams the door on her right foot as she tries to force her way inside. He smashes it against her foot again and again, causing it to bend and break at a very painful-looking angle, with the bone sticking out. He actually apologizes for this but, despite this injury, she continues chasing him, running him into the bathroom. He

tries to get out through the door but she grabs and flings him down, causing him to grab and rip down the shower curtain. She dives down on top of him but he wraps the curtain around her head and uses it to keep her at bay, as she bites at him through the fabric. He grabs and slams her against the wall, when she rips her tongue through the curtain. He grabs what he can find to throw at her, although it's nothing harder than a pack of cotton-balls and extra toilet paper rolls, before he grabs a spray-can and gets her in the face. She lets go and he crawls away, only for her to come at him again. He grabs the lid off the toilet's tank and whacks her on the

head, before slipping out of the room and closing the door. As he creeps down the hall, brandishing the lid, he narrates, "You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first time I let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me." And it's not over yet, as 406 opens the door and stumbles out into the hall. He tries to reason with her, saying she's just sick, but she lets out this inhuman screech and comes at him, dragging her dislocated foot behind her, before breaking into a full-on run. When she reaches him, he smashes her across the head with the lid, unintentionally creating the Double Tap right there and finishing her off.

Getting back to the main story, Columbus and Tallahassee are forced to stop and move a destroyed wreck of a car out of their way. Columbus mentions a place he's heard of that's supposedly untouched by the virus but Tallahassee says the location changes depending on where you are, meaning it's likely just nonsense. They then drive on, and talk about the last time they each have had sex, with Columbus coming up with a bogus story of having made love with a girl named "Beverly Hills" in the back of an abandoned FedEx

truck. They then come upon a zombie woman snacking on a dead body in the middle of the road. Columbus gets all sentimental, talking about how such a sight makes you wish you could go back to how things were before, as the zombie cracks open a severed limb and guzzles down the blood like she's drinking from a juice pouch. Tallahassee, however, isn't as sensitive, telling Columbus it's making him hungry, and that whatever is waiting for him in Ohio is no different than the zombie "enjoying her 'manwich.'" He heads on down the road, then veers right at the zombie and pops

open his door, whacking her in the face. Columbus tells us how Tallahassee really hated zombies, and that the only thing he cared about more than killing them was finding a Twinkie, that it would remind him of a time before things went nuts. They're seen pulling over in front of a grocery store and Tallahassee opens up his trunk, takes off his jacket, and starts pulling out various weapons like a pick-axe and other sharp tools. Columbus is incredulous that he's going to put them through so much trouble for a Twinkie and Tallahassee tells him, "There is a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that

anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go... empty." He loads up with a pair of hedge-clippers, a baseball bat, and something else, declaring, "Time to nut up or shut up," before heading inside the store, as Columbus mentions, "When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for 'not to be fucked with.' No fear. Nothing to lose. What can I say? It's like... it's like art." 

They stop at the head of the store and Tallahassee reveals that the other thing he's carrying is actually a banjo. He strums a little bit on it and a big, fat zombie comes charging at them. Tallahassee then takes his banjo, tells the zombie, "You got a perdy mouth," and uppercuts him, spraying blood all over the shelves. The zombie collapses to the floor and Tallahassee proceeds to whale on him with the banjo. Another zombie pops up behind Columbus and chases him down the aisle. Columbus yells for Tallahassee not to swing the

banjo, until he ducks down and slides across the floor on his knees. He then yells, "Swing!", and Tallahassee, having traded in the banjo for the aluminum baseball bat, uppercuts the zombie and smashes his head in when he drops to the floor afterward. He tells Columbus he owes him and tosses the bat away, as they head on into the store. Tallahassee scans the shelves, looking for a Twinkie, when another large zombie shows up at the other end of the aisle. Columbus offers him his shotgun but Tallahassee pushes it aside and pulls out the pair of hedge clippers. He heads for the zombie, saying he's going to take a little off the

top, and while we don't see what he did to him, we then see the clippers slide along the floor, dripping with blood. Commenting on how fat these zombies are, they're about to move on, when they come across a normal-looking woman who asks the two of them to come with her; Columbus, who's instantly smitten, comments, "Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it." The two of them follow her into the back of the store, but Columbus pauses to open the nearby exit and keep it ajar, noting his rule, "When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out."

When he rejoins Tallahassee, he learns that the girl has a sister and that she's been bitten. Tallahassee introduces the sisters as Wichita and Little Rock, the former of whom takes the guys aside and tells her that they're just looking for a "way out." Knowing what she means, Columbus is appalled at the idea of killing a young girl but Little Rock tells him that she can overhear them and also says it's her decision, as well as that they've said their goodbyes and just didn't have a gun before. She calls Columbus gutless when he still hesitates

and tells him to let Tallahassee do it. He takes the shotgun and, as Columbus walks away, he points it at Little Rock's head. That's when Wichita pipes up, saying she'll do it, and Tallahassee gives her the gun. Wichita kisses her sister on the forehead, the two of them say they love each other, and Wichita checks to see that both barrels are loaded, while Tallahassee stands nearby and Columbus has his back turned and his ears covered. Seeing her hesitate, Tallahassee asks Wichita if she needs some help, and Wichita turns the gun on him, saying they'll take his weapons, car

keys, and ammunition. Little Rock hops off the table, takes Tallahassee's own gun, and points it at Columbus, who sees what's going on. Wichita motions for Columbus to get over by Tallahassee and the two girls walk backwards out of the room, Wichita saying it's best that they made the mistake of trusting them than the other way around. Columbus mentions, "Of course, the first hot girl in a thousand miles shows up, makes me feel like an idiot, steals my double-barrel, and then says I'm the one who can't be trusted." They can only watch helplessly as the girls takes off in the Escalade outside and start making their way down the road on foot.

The two of them walk down the middle of the empty town, discussing their personal picks for "Zombie Kill of the Week," while searching for their car. Tallahassee makes it clear he is supremely pissed about what the girls did, saying, "Do what you want with a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac." Columbus points out a nice minivan parked near them and Tallahassee seems to concur, when he suddenly smashes one of the windows by throwing something at it, then picks up a discarded crowbar and uses it to smash the

others, before climbing on the roof and totaling the windshield from above. Columbus tells us, "Tallahassee firmly believes that you have to blow off steam in Zombieland, or else you lose what's left of your mind. Well, if it makes him happy and keeps him from using that crowbar on me, then I say, 'Hey, go ape shit.'" As he finishes smashing up the minivan, he exclaims, "I want my Caddie back! Stupid little bitches!" He jumps off the roof and they continue on down the road, as he mentions that he thinks he pulled something and the

rule of "Limber Up" appears on the back of the destroyed minivan. They then find a yellow-painted Hummer H2 in a driveway and, as he approaches the driver's seat, Tallahassee spots a pair of hands on the steering wheel. He yanks open the door, only to find that the hands are all that's on the wheel. Chuckling to himself, he pulls them off using one of them to give the finger to Columbus, and manages to get the Hummer started, while Columbus checks the backseat. Back there is a duffle bag that they unzip and find is full of high-powered weapons, prompting Tallahassee to exclaim, "Thank God for rednecks!" So excited is

he that he has to blow off some steam by shooting an Uzi off into the air, while Columbus patiently waits for him in the passenger seat. After painting another number 3 on his door, Tallahassee drives off. Columbus tells him, "You know, they say, 'He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves,'" and Tallahassee responds, "Oh, right. Two graves: one for the big chick, and one for the little chick," which scares Columbus to his soul. He suggests they forget about the girls and head "home," but Tallahassee says that, for him, home meant his cute puppy named Buck. We get a short

montage of him playing around and loving on Buck, as Puppy Love plays, and he then mentions that the zombies killed him, saying that now, he's looking for a new "home," adding that you have to enjoy the little things, which Columbus writes down as Rule No. 32.

On a lonely stretch of highway, the two of them see the Escalade, apparently abandoned, with the hood up and "HELP" written on the side. Figuring it's a trap, Tallahassee goes to investigate, telling Columbus to drive down if he signals for him. He takes one of his new guns with him, saying he's not going to shoot unless they shoot at him, adding that he hopes they do. Walking to the vehicle, he checks the front and back seats, as well as looks under the vehicle itself, but finds no sign of the girls. Looking up at the hood, where one of the girls' shirts is swaying in the breeze while on a coat

hanger, he signals for Columbus by whistling. Columbus drives the Hummer up to him and he climbs into the passenger seat, telling him the girls must've gone on foot and to drive slow and keep his eyes open. But, when Columbus hesitates in driving off and he and Tallahassee exchange glances, he realizes he's being held hostage. Turns out Little Rock is hiding in the back, and she pops up and trains Tallahassee's own gun on him. She demands he hand over his new gun but he calls her bluff, saying she wouldn't pull the trigger... when she shoots through the sunroof, causing him to

panic and beg her not to kill him with his own gun. He hands his rifle over and she orders Columbus to honk the horn. When he does, Wichita appears from behind a nearby hay bale, pointing his own double-barrel at him. She walks up to the driver's side and orders him out, saying he gets to ride shotgun. After that, they ride down the road, with Columbus and Wichita up front, while Little Rock is still holding Tallahassee at gunpoint in the back. Columbus talks about how he likes Wichita and that she and her sister were both pros even before Zombieland. A flashback shows her at a gas station, looking around her car, and when the

attendant comes out to ask what's wrong, she tearfully says she's lost her expensive engagement ring and is late for a flight. The guy offers to find it and FedEx it to her, talking her into giving him her number. As she gets back into her car, he talks about how he's going to start looking for the ring. When she drives off, he tells a friend over the phone about the situation, when he looks out the window and sees Little Rock picking the ring up. He walks out there and tells her she's found what he's been looking for, but she asks for a reward. He gives her all the money in the register and she, in

turn, gives him the ring. She heads outside and joins up with Wichita in the car nearby. It's revealed they have a small handful of such fake jewelry and are using the scam to get to California. Columbus comments, "It's amazing how far you get with some costume jewelry and cutthroat attitude. I guess we're just lucky they didn't leave us by the side of the road."

Just as Columbus thanks the girls for not abandoning them, Tallahassee grabs his gun out of Little Rock's hands and points it at her. Wichita hits the brakes and points her own handgun at him. This causes Columbus to snap, as he yells, "Hey, for fuck's sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. We don't have enough problems? 'Oh, they stole my hummer.' 'Oh, we have trust issues.' Well get over it, okay?! We can't just fucking drive down the road, playing I Spy or some shit, for two hours like four normal-ass

Americans? Fuck me!" Tallahassee, shocked at this, decides to put away his weapon and Wichita does the same. They continue on down the road, and when Columbus asks, they learn the girls are heading for Pacific Playland outside of Los Angeles; Little Rock also mentions how there's not supposed to be any zombies there. There's still enough tension in the car, especially between Little Rock and Tallahassee, that Wichita suggests they play the Quiet Game. Ignoring that, Columbus asks if she's heard anything about the town of Columbus

and she says they're playing the Quiet Game there, as it's burned to the ground. That's when Tallahassee gets her attention and motions towards Columbus. Realizing what she just did, she apologizes to him, as the realization that his family is likely dead begins to sink into him. She then offers to give him a ride so he can go see for himself or at least find somewhere else to settle. That night, with Tallahassee and Little Rock asleep in the back, Wichita mentions to Columbus that she feels her sister deserves a chance to be a kid. Spotting an abandoned truck up ahead, she stops and gives Columbus the chance she promised him. He almost gets out but, realizing that he has nowhere to go and that he doesn't want to be apart from her, he closes the door, buckles his seat-belt back up, and they continue on. 

After some more driving, Tallahassee, feeling cooped up, tells them they need to stop so he can blow off some steam and they do so when they come to a trading post. Walking up to the entrance, he asks who wants to go first and see if there are any zombies inside. Though Columbus admits he wants to impress Wichita, he also doesn't want to violate his very important rule of "Don't Be A Hero," and allows Tallahassee to take the lead. He walks up to the door and rings a bell hanging over it. Sure enough, a zombie comes running at them and Tallahassee stands next to the entrance with his

gun drawn. He blasts the zombie right in the head when he makes it through the door, sending him off to the side, where Columbus initiates a Double Tap. Tallahassee asks if that qualifies for Zombie Kill of the Week but Columbus shows us the real winner: Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker, who pulls a rope that drops an entire piano on top of a zombie as she walks into her church. As they check out the trading post's interior, Columbus finds some perfume and takes a whiff of it, intending to give it to Wichita. Unfortunately, Tallahassee smells it

and, not buying his insisting that it's cologne, gives him a hard time about it, telling him, "You're thinking about fucking Wichita... Hey, wish granted. She's spent the last 24 hours fucking us both. Good luck, now, petunia." In retaliation, Columbus sprays Tallahassee with some perfume when he turns his back. But, when Tallahassee swings back around and glares at him, he realizes he just made a big mistake and tries to apologize. Tallahassee informs him, "FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less than that... You get, uh... 45% power," and then punches him, causing him to reel back and knock over something

that breaks on the floor. Tallahassee encourages him to break something else, which he does, and soon, all four of them are smashing everything they can find, knocking over displays of items, tossing gemstones at each other, turning over the entire display of said stones, taking tomahawks to Indian displays, and pushing over the shelves to create a domino effect of them falling over, all while The Marriage of Figaro by Mozart plays on the soundtrack. Once they're all done, they look at the havoc they've wrought in satisfaction, as Columbus says Tallahassee was right about enjoying the little things. They then drive off, taking turns on who

drives throughout the night, and have various bonding moments, such as Tallahassee being unable to accept that Little Rock doesn't know who Willie Nelson is, Columbus explaining that he gets a 4:30 shadow rather than a 5:00 one, Little Rock explaining Hannah Montana to Tallahassee, and Columbus deciding to be a rebel and not wear his seat-belt.

As they drive by a "Welcome to California" sign, Columbus notes how they'd decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland. They drive across a bridge full of abandoned vehicles and enter the city. Driving down Hollywood Boulevard, which is teeming with zombies, Tallahassee decides they may as well find a really nice place to bed down. He stops in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater and tells Columbus to get out and grab a map. When he does, several zombies, including one dressed as Charlie Chaplin, come running at him but he and Wichita, who also gets out, manage

to quickly shoot them down. Columbus grabs a map, they both get back into the Hummer, and drive off as a group of zombified tourists try to get at them. They drive up into Beverly Hills, as Tallahassee has one celebrity's home in mind, saying, "We're going to the tippy-top of the A-list." They drive up to a large house with a gate that has the initials "BM" on it. Going through the front door, they're impressed at how large and golden a building it is, and as they walk into the living room, Tallahassee reveals that they're in Bill Murray's mansion. Unfortunately, there are no

Twinkies in the kitchen, frustrating Tallahassee, and the group decides to split up into pairs to make sure they're the only ones in the house. Columbus and Little Rock come across Murray's own private screening room, while Tallahassee and Wichita find a bedroom with a really large and fancy bed that the latter calls dibs on. While Columbus and Little Rock are watching Ghostbusters in the screening room, upstairs, the apparent undead form of a man rises up off of a bed. In the living room, Tallahassee and Wichita are listening to the Ghostbusters theme song, the former rocking out to it while Wichita plays some indoor golf. She

accidentally hits Tallahassee in the head, knocking him to the floor, and when he looks up, he sees Bill Murray himself walk in, his arms outstretched like a zombie and his face looking as haggard and sickly as one. He goes for Tallahassee, when Wichita smacks him in the back with her golf-club. To their surprise, he lets out a human yell and starts complaining, revealing that he's not a zombie after all. He says he's just wearing makeup and a wig in order to blend in with the real zombies when he goes out. Tallahassee then proceeds to absolutely gush about meeting Bill Murray, going on about how he's seen all his movies, quotes some Caddyshack, and even shakes and kisses his hand.

Murray proceeds to treat them to some West Coast hospitality, which includes give them some weed to smoke while listening to Don't Fear the Reaper and reenacting a scene from Ghostbusters with Tallahassee, albeit with vacuum cleaners in place of the proton packs (although Tallahassee is wearing one of the actual outfits). They talk about not crossing the streams and pretend to do so, when the lights in the chandelier they're pretending a ghost is in flicker and go out several times, giving them pause. In the theater, as Columbus and Little Rock continue watching the

actual movie, he asks her if Wichita is single and what her type would be; when she says she goes for bad boys, Columbus tries to compensate by dumping their bowl of popcorn on the floor. Outside, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Murray decide to play a prank on the skittish Columbus, with Murray getting into his full zombie getup and walking into the theater, arms outstretched and moaning. Unfortunately, the prank works too well, as when Columbus hears him, he immediately jumps up and blasts him with his gun. Murray collapses into one of the seats and, when the others

rush in, Columbus realizes what he just did when Murray asks, "Is that how you say hello where you come from?" Tallahassee breaks it to him that they're not going to be able to do anything about his wound but Murray is quite accepting of his fate, even telling Columbus, "It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker." He lets out an overly long death sigh, and actually takes a breath for another one, before he expires, which Wichita can't help but laugh at. That's when they clumsily carry Murray's wrapped body out onto a terrace and, after giving a four-gun salute, dumps him over the edge of the balcony before sanitizing their hands.

That night, while they're playing a game of Monopoly, Tallahassee lets it slip that Buck was actually his young son rather than a dog and breaks down crying, making the others feel really bad for him, Columbus realizing he's not the only one running from something. Tallahassee shows them a wallet he put together that's full of photos of Buck, as Columbus narrates, "Take away a man's son, you've truly given him nothing left to lose." After that, Tallahassee blows off some steam with some target practice in the mansion's large foyer, when Little Rock joins him. She misses a few times and he suggests she exhale slowly and then pull the

trigger. She cocks her gun, does as he says, and, sure enough, scores a direct hit on a plate displayed on its edge across from them. Elsewhere, Wichita finds Columbus and gets him to join her in drinking a bottle of wine she found. They talk about the wine's year, 1997, and what it meant for each of them. Columbus mentions that he found himself left out of a Sadie Hawkins dance, which infuriates Wichita to the point where she offers to make it up to him by asking him to dance with her. It's quite a romantic moment, with the two of them slow-dancing in the middle of the room and Wichita telling Columbus he's kind of cute, despite having the

"guts of a guppy." They almost kiss, but Tallahassee walks in and asks for help in moving a couch, as he and Little Rock are making a fort. This leads to an awkward moment between them where Wichita tells him that, as much as she likes him, she and Little Rock are going to do whatever they need to do in order to survive. The next morning, her trust issues are confirmed when she and Little Rock take off in the Hummer, while Columbus admonishes Tallahassee for cock-blocking him the night before. The girls drive until sunset, when they reach

Pacific Playland and push their way through the gates. As Columbus tries to come to terms with being dumped, and Tallahassee plans on going to Mexico, Wichita activates all the lights and rides in the park, elating Little Rock but also attracting the attention of hordes of nearby zombies. The girls are in the middle of enjoying a ride when they realize the immense danger they're in, as the zombies pour into the park. Elsewhere, Columbus tells Tallahassee that he's going after Wichita, despite what he may think about his chances of getting with her.

The zombies are now hot on the girls' heels, with Wichita only able to fire behind her and kill one of them at a time. They rush back to the Hummer and climb inside just as the zombies swarm them from all sides, pounding the windows and climbing onto the roof. Wichita fumbles for the keys, when one zombie smashes through Little Rock's window and grabs at her legs as she kicks at him. Wichita drives away, although there are several zombies still on the roof and numerous others chasing after them. Wichita counts to three and then, both of them dive out of the Hummer, sending it and the zombies crashing through a stand and into the

water behind it. Wichita then runs to her sister's aid and the two of them grab their weapons. She fires on the zombies running towards them, when Little Rock spots a drop tower ride nearby and the two of them run for it, Wichita picking off what zombies she can on the way. Back at the Murray mansion, Columbus and Tallahassee say their goodbyes, but the latter is so bad at it that all he can think of to say is the line from Babe, "That'll do, pig," which Columbus calls out on being absolutely awful. Tallahassee goes to load up the GMC Yukon in the garage, telling Columbus to tell the girls he said hey, when Columbus retorts,

"You know, their pictures were in someone's wallet too." Columbus then tries to ride off on the Harley Davidson he found in the garage, only to quickly lose control and wipe out when he hits the driveway's curb. Taking what he said to heart, and smirking at how inept he is, Tallahassee pulls up alongside him and says, "Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let's go ride the roller-coaster." Columbus, of course, eagerly climbs into the passenger seat and both of them head out. Back at the park, the girls make through the turnstiles of the drop tower ride, the Blast-Off, and rush to the seats, as

Wichita hits the button. The two of them quickly strap themselves in, Wichita holding off the zombies with her gun, when they're hurled up into the air. They go to the top of the tower and then drop back down, getting quite close to the base, which is now surrounded by zombies. As they go back up, the zombies look up and grab at them, when they start to slowly lower back down towards them again. Little Rock starts to panic and scream, while Wichita shoots at the zombies, one of which grabs Little Rock's foot. When the ride shoots them back up, he gets pulled up with them

and is flung off by the sudden drop. Once again, the ride starts to slowly lower back down towards the zombies, when Wichita tells Little Rock to shoot the control box with her rifle's scope. She aims and points but misses the box twice, although she does manage to kill a zombie with a headshot. Remembering what Tallahassee taught her, she exhales and pulls the trigger, which enables her to hit her target. The ride stops and the two sisters laugh nervously, although they know they're still trapped up there.

Columbus and Tallahassee arrive on the outskirts of the park and, when he sees the zombies running about the place, he tells Columbus the girls may need their help. They buckle up and Tallahassee speeds the car towards the park entrance, saying, "Time to nut up or shut up." When they come upon a mass of zombies right inside the gates, Tallahassee swerves the car and mows them down with an Uzi, then swerves back around and performs a Double Tap by driving back and forth over several of the bodies. He comments, "My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'da guessed that

something would be zombie killing?" Up on the Blast-Off, Little Rock spots the guys' car and Wichita mentions they'd better start working on an apology. The guys park near the waterfront and when they get out and see the Hummer sticking out of the water, Columbus fears the worse, until the girls yell from the tower and get his attention. Tallahassee, meanwhile, unpacks his duffle bag and straps on two back holsters that each carry a gun. He encourages Columbus to go save them, while he runs off into the depths of the park, blowing an air-horn and yelling, "Come on! Come get a piece of Tallahassee! Anybody hungry?!

Tallahassee's nice this time of year!" The zombies immediately come running, including many of those who were gathered around the Blast-Off's base, and when he gets far enough away, Tallahassee starts blowing them away with an assault rifle. However, some of the zombies spot and chase after Columbus, while Tallahassee jumps the fence surrounding one ride and hangs from one of its suspended, rotating seats, shooting the zombies that come for him. Columbus runs through the park, gunning down zombies who pop up in front

of him, and is chased into the park's haunted house. The attraction actually gives him an advantage, as when one zombie chases him through the corridors, he's suddenly snagged by a fake monster that comes out of the wall, giving Columbus the chance to reload and shoot him. At the same time, some zombies are climbing up the side of the Blast-Off towards the girls. Wichita manages to shoot one of them off but runs out of shells. Tallahassee then climbs up towards a roller-coaster, blasting zombies as he goes, and when the car comes by, he hops in and uses it as a useful vantage point to shoot zombies as he comes by them. One zombie jumps into the back of the car but he blasts him easily.

Columbus, still in the haunted house, wanders through the attraction, getting spooked by a fake ghost at one point, only to be jumped from behind by a zombie, who knocks him to the ground, though he manages to shoot her. Back on the Blast-Off, Little Rock uses up the last of her ammo trying to shoot a zombie that's climbing up towards her and Wichita. And down on the ground, Tallahassee hops into a prize booth, closes the shutters on the windows, lines up some clips on a shelf behind him, shirks off his vest, and whips out two handguns. Nearly all of the zombies converge on the booth and he proceeds to start blasting them

through the shutters, as well as through the booth's roof when one climbs up there. He manages to whip around and kill one zombie who smashes through the small window on the booth's backdoor, and when he empties his clips, he just slams the guns' butts down on those he lined up to reload instantly. At the same time, Columbus has some zombies chasing him through the park and the girls are virtually helpless to fend off the one climbing up at them. For a bit, it looks as if this may be the group's last stand, although Tallahassee manages to keep holding off the zombies attacking him, Columbus is able to get the group chasing him to

walk right into the path of a swinging ride, and Wichita manages to knock one of the zombies trying to get at her and Little Rock off and send him falling to the ground. A huge pile of dead zombies in front of the prize booth then reveals that Tallahassee actually managed to kill them all, and he kisses one of his handguns in satisfaction. Columbus finally reaches the Blast-Off and sees there's still a zombie up there, trying to get at the girls, when he's confronted by a zombie clown. In his narration, he mentions that it took the combination of that and Wichita being in danger to

make him decide to break his rule of "Don't Be A Hero" and that it's time for him to nut up or shut up. Having run out of ammo for his gun, he grabs a mallet from a nearby high-striker game and, when the clown charges at him, he hits him in the gut with it, knocking him to the ground, and smashes his face in, causing his rubber nose to honk. He then runs to the base of the ride, seeing the girls struggling with the last remaining zombie, and tries to bring them down. When the controls don't work, he throws the ride's emergency brake and the seats drop, sending the zombie plummeting to the ground.

With the girls safe, Columbus rushes over to them and helps them out of the seat. Wichita instantly embraces him and tells him that her real name is Krista. Columbus responds by brushing her hair over her ear before going in and kissing her. But, when they realize Little Rock is standing there, watching them, they decide to head out. Nearby, Tallahassee sees the whole thing and comments, "Finally got to first base. Not bad, for that scrawny little spitfuck." But then, when the others try to find Tallahassee, he's seemingly disappeared, until Columbus notices a candy store that says it sells fried Twinkies. Columbus walks inside, only to

find that Tallahassee is trashing the place because he can't find any Twinkies, accusing the place of false advertising. After stupidly asking him if he wants a Sno-Ball, Columbus peels around and fires at the door to a room in the back when he hears something clatter. The two of them creep towards the door, open it up, and Tallahassee turns on the light, only to yell and jump back when a couple of rats come scurrying out. Once he calms down, Tallahassee then realizes there were some Twinkies back there, but Columbus blew them apart with his shots. Columbus attempts to apologize and asks

him if he could eat around the buckshot, but quickly shuts up when Tallahassee makes it clear it's in his best interest. They then hear the sound of a car starting up and quickly rush outside, exasperated that it looks as though Wichita and Little Rock are abandoning them again. Fortunately, they stop and make it clear they were kidding. Columbus narrates that, in that moment, he realized that he now actually had a family, while Little Rock tosses Tallahassee a Twinkie she happened to come across. Needless to say, he really savors it, as Columbus tells us,

"Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things. Tallahassee got his Twinkie. And even though life would never be simple or innocent again, as he savored that spongy, yellow log of cream, we had hope. We had each other. And without other people, well, you might as well be a zombie." Wichita motions for them to get in, although they play one last prank by pretending like they're about to take off without them. As they drive out of the park, slamming into a lone zombie that comes running at them, Columbus closes out the movie with this: "So, until next time, remember: cardio, seat belts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I'm Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying good night."

Zombieland is a movie where the songs on the soundtrack are just as, if not more, memorable than the actual music score. Said score, which was composed by David Sardy, is 46 minutes long in total, making up just a little more than half of the movie's running time, and it's one that works best in the moment rather than by itself, as it's not that memorable in the long run. It does have its moments, though, like the For a Few Dollars More-like chime that plays as part of the initial standoff between Columbus and Tallahassee, the very cartoonish music that plays when Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker squashes the one zombie with the piano, the sad, western sort of piece that plays when it's revealed that Buck was actually Tallahassee's little boy, the metal music that plays throughout much of the climax at Pacific Playland, the moment where the music feels like it's building to something heroic when Columbus tries to ride off on a Harley, only for it to immediately die when he wipes out, and a tragic-sounding, western-themed bit that plays when it looks as though the characters may have reached the end of the line during the climax. In fact, the score often switches back and forth from a western, Mexican style to stuff more along the lines of rock and metal, with bits of comedic and suspenseful music thrown into the mix before. Like I said, the soundtrack and its songs are just as significant. In addition to those I've mentioned before, you also hear songs like Willie Nelson's Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain (which, appropriately, plays when Tallahassee is shocked to learn that Little Rock doesn't know who Nelson is), Everybody Wants Some by Van Halen, and even riffs on classic pieces like the Star-Spangled Banner during the opening and Taps when Bill Murray is saluted.

While I don't absolutely love it or think it's one of the best horror-comedies ever, there's no denying that Zombieland is a really good movie where almost everything comes together. It has likable and entertaining characters, which include a fun cameo by Bill Murray, it's very well-made, with a lot of fun, energetic flair to the visuals and editing, the humor is well-implemented and comes in various styles, there's a lot of memorable dialogue, the music score and the songs on the soundtrack work well, and the film has a surprisingly light-hearted, fun tone, as well as genuine heart and works quite well when it does decide to be a bit more dramatic. There are some drawbacks, like the kind of murky nighttime exterior scenes, the zombies not being the most original in terms of design and depiction, and the apparent use of much digital gore, while well-done, can come off as disappointing and lazy. Also, while this isn't a con in and of itself, gorehounds should know that, while the movie does have some very grisly moments and effective makeup effects, that's not its main focus, so you'd best look elsewhere for your blood and guts fix. In conclusion, it's a fun movie, definitely one of the better zombie comedies, and is worth checking out by fans of both horror and comedy.